How much more must I suffer unbearably

[koskikoski]

I'm so tired ... so tired. Another thrashing with parents. I understand that they cannot understand, and will not understand for sure.
The fact is that I am sick chronically and it cannot be treated and it only gets worse, now it is simply unbearable. there is no way to relieve pain / improve. But my parents (especially my mother) continue to believe in some kind of treatment that will somehow come and help me. They want to take me to the doctors again, although it hurts for me.
because of the pain, I come across an incredibly strong anxiety, the body seems to be defending itself. This is a very strong anxiety and it also cannot be stopped. And I can no longer with this pain, I'm not going to live with it, only the thought of ctb calms me down.

I know that my mother loves me, but she says "fight", and I just CAN'T. no one was in the place and does not know what kind of torture it is almost 24/7. There is also my grandmother and my mother, I supposedly mentioned. was more positive in front of her because she was supposedly worried.

I'm terribly empathic, and I can't worry about them either. what should I do? I try to say that I can't fight, but it's useless. fight and that's it.

 

[aligatorek]

I can't say I know exactly what you're going through and noone can do so, but surely it must be overwhelming to hear such words. I think your parents do it in a good faith, but they don't know they unintentionally exert pressure on you at the same time. You know the best how you feel, though. I'm sure you were doing your best, sometimes bad things happen to us and we don't have a choice whether we accept it or not. There's nothing wrong in admitting you're tired of fighting. If your parents don't let you express it (maybe they are scared of what they might hear?), maybe you would like to write them a letter? I don't mean a suicide note, just an old-fashioned letter in which you describe how your condition affects your daily life and what kind of words would be more supportive to you. They could read it calmly, without interrupting you when you speak. And remember, you always have a choice. I hope you find your peace, whichever path you decide to follow.

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

It's hard to blame them to harshly, how could anyone understand? "They are they/ and only I am I ".

It's a horrible position to be in, and where lots of us are. Nobody can understand, so I must almost always suffer alone:( If I tried to express, I too would battle with my parents I think:(

I'm sorry, and I hope you can find peace in your relationships before you find your ultimate peace:)