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TheCyberian

TheCyberian

Swinging in Her Cell
Nov 13, 2022
81
It seems like many people have access to their method but haven't decided on a date to CTB yet or are hesitant to pull the trigger. How much longer do you think you have whether you have a method ready or not?

I think I just have a month or two left. Once my meto arrives (the shipping takes forever!) I'll have everything I need to CTB. I'm debating whether I should visit my family for the holidays, but I probably won't be able to hold on for much longer once I have everything together.
 
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HerculePoirot

(Frozen account)
Sep 25, 2022
751
Between two to four years (atypical profile).
 
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jodes2

jodes2

Hello people ❤️
Aug 28, 2022
7,736
I have one method ready (SN) but I'd prefer nembutal. Unfortunately I'm going to be waiting a very, very long time, since I can't do CTB to my gf, she wouldn't handle it well. I might only CTB when she dies 30+ years from now. Unless I get really desperate and impulsive.
 
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SarRy

Student
Oct 5, 2022
193
5 months. If things get better, then, maybe, more. If something bad comes up, then less. There are people I would feel guilty about not taking care of, so I have to wait a bit. I guess I don't necessarily desire death as I think of it as a sort of nothingness, but I can't keep living like this. One last attempt at recovery I keep telling myself.
 
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Why Me?

Experienced
Apr 5, 2022
270
Hopefully I will have enough resources, courage, peace, and energy to CTB this summer in a couple months.
 
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Menschenmühle

Menschenmühle

Member
Jan 21, 2022
80
two months max
 
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Pentobarbital_Plz

Pentobarbital_Plz

STOP HAVING KIDS!!!
Oct 28, 2022
275
I really wanted to CTB this year. 2022. It just sounds right, seems right. Very unlikely, though. :/ It's almost 2023. Gross. I want nothing to do with it. Idk why…I wish someone would just kill me without any repercussions. All I can do is fantasize…

Or I can order SN right now and see if it arrives (O_O)
 
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Larkins

Larkins

Member
Apr 10, 2022
15
I have a few seconds less than I did when I started writing this.
 
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Mr_House

Mr_House

Black Mesa Research Facility (B.M.R.F.)
Jul 14, 2022
196
A couple of months, but It changes with my mood and Suicide Idealism/Survival Instinct. Also I just want to say I like your lain profile pic 👍
 
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Ineedtodie

Ineedtodie

Shame, Avoidance, hopelessness, lonliness, cbt, pm
Nov 9, 2022
401
Giving my situaion overall. Its a wonder I' m not cbting right now. My method is partial and I don't have guts to let go fully.
 
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TheCyberian

TheCyberian

Swinging in Her Cell
Nov 13, 2022
81
I have one method ready (SN) but I'd prefer nembutal. Unfortunately I'm going to be waiting a very, very long time, since I can't do CTB to my gf, she wouldn't handle it well. I might only CTB when she dies 30+ years from now. Unless I get really desperate and impulsive.
It takes a lot of resilience to hold off like that for the sake of someone else. I'm hoping the best for you. There are people in my life that would be totally devastated, but I don't think I'm strong enough to hold on for their sake.
5 months. If things get better, then, maybe, more. If something bad comes up, then less. There are people I would feel guilty about not taking care of, so I have to wait a bit. I guess I don't necessarily desire death as I think of it as a sort of nothingness, but I can't keep living like this. One last attempt at recovery I keep telling myself.
I hope you manage to recover, friend. It's unfortunate that life pushes so many people towards suicide, and I wish things were different.
A couple of months, but It changes with my mood and Suicide Idealism/Survival Instinct. Also I just want to say I like your lain profile pic 👍
Same. Sometimes I feel like I just need to hold on a bit longer and things will get better but I've been telling myself that for years. Also thanks 😊 it's good to know there are other lain fans here
 
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jodes2

jodes2

Hello people ❤️
Aug 28, 2022
7,736
It takes a lot of resilience to hold off like that for the sake of someone else. I'm hoping the best for you. There are people in my life that would be totally devastated, but I don't think I'm strong enough to hold on for their sake.

I hope you manage to recover, friend. It's unfortunate that life pushes so many people towards suicide, and I wish things were different.

Same. Sometimes I feel like I just need to hold on a bit longer and things will get better but I've been telling myself that for years. Also thanks 😊 it's good to know there are other lain fans here
Thank you ❤️ I'm sorry you'll be leaving people behind ❤️
 
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outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,866
no idea--can do it anytime...waiting for the right time
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,837
I don't know, it's like impossible to predict how long we will exist as after all life is unpredictable and death could come for us at any moment, even if we don't die by ctb. I'm just hoping that somehow I will pass away without having to ctb myself (ideally in my sleep), as even know dying at a time of my own choosing is the most preferable way to die, but we live in a world that makes suicide so unnecessarily difficult and complicated with risks involved. It's like we are being punished because of the decisions of others to selfishly procreate.

I wish I had no more time. Even one second in this hellish world is one second too long. It's horrific the thought of ageing and potentially being here for a long time. I cannot endure this life for many more decades. I cannot even bear to think about that, it hurts too much.
 
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crowbait

crowbait

they/them
Oct 4, 2022
65
I'm aiming for either February or the day before my birthday. Depends on when I get all my supplies in order.
 
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its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
807
This last weekend showed me I'm not as ready as I wish I was. I don't really know the answer. I keep waiting to feel upset and impulsive enough, but then in those moments all my years of being therapized tell me not to make a big decision while feeling impulsive (even though I've already decided beforehand what to do)…. Just can't seem to do it. But hope very much to. I have no clue what my timeline is. I seem to consistently tell myself "in the next couple weeks" but for months and months at a time. I have two methods on hand now.
 
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SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
I'm hoping with all my heart that I only have a month or so left. I'm conflicted on how long after I pay my December bills should I try. SMH.

Do I go ahead and pay the January bills in advance in case I'm not found by then and/or to give my family enough time to sort through my things?

I have a lot of equity in my home, and I would love for them to sell it and get the profits, but how does that work without me tipping them off about my plans?!

My registration expires soon. Do I renew it in case I survive? WTH man... I don't know.

I have a laundry list of things to do before I attempt it, but I'm so depressed (and drunk) that I can't bring myself to do anything except add to the list.

I have to find my health insurance card too. Again - in case my wretched ass survives. I don't think I opened the envelop when it was sent to me. I'm tired. But I know that I can't go off all half-cocked and ill-prepared.

As much as I want this to be successful, I have to make preparations in case I fail.
 
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sleeps

sleeps

being a thing
Oct 12, 2022
69
not more than a year. hopefully sooner
 
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Treeline589

Experienced
Dec 14, 2021
234
I'm thinking around 46 days
 
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Conker

Conker

Specialist
Oct 22, 2019
351
Probably only four years, not much longer than that.
 
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bigtiredoflife

Member
Aug 4, 2021
30
Well I have a shotgun, so it can be anytime I want. I'm going to stop drinking and start hitting the gym again, maybe I can try to make things better (finding friends as an adult man is hard, and I haven't taken joy in things for so long I can't even find a hobby to adhere to). Basically going to wing shit, since I can CTB whenever. Just trying to make an effort to improve my life, or at least wait for that perfectly bad day to tip me over the edge
 
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harshbarger

Member
Dec 21, 2021
12
Hopefully just a few months — the time needed to gather the material I need (SN and an antiemetic mostly) and then a chance to be away from home overnight.
 
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TheCyberian

TheCyberian

Swinging in Her Cell
Nov 13, 2022
81
Well, my meto is arriving tomorrow so it could be any day now. Finally.
 
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heavyeyes

heavyeyes

Oct 9, 2022
1,716
2-3 years tops if I don't decide to throw in the towel before then.
 
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leeloosnow

leeloosnow

Warlock
Aug 28, 2022
725
i hope i find whatever answer it is to put peace to the facts i already know about my existence being completely worthwhile. i have my plans set, just need to get OK with leaving the people i support.
 
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Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,758
I think it's a bit knotty to set a exact date but probably 2023
 
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planningmyexit

Member
Oct 5, 2022
51
Not sure. I'm doing my best to hang on and not go that route. I still think it's likely I ctb but not until later on down the road.
 
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not_actually_human

not_actually_human

indeterminate some.
Nov 12, 2022
53
I did not want leaving to be so dramatic and filled with desperation, but my situation makes it difficult to pull it off. Living with narc parents.
Soon I should be able to bring SN home? Fingers crossed. Will update when I manage to.
 
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AstroV

AstroV

Member
Nov 3, 2021
75
I think I have 6 months at the most left. I was feeling really impulsive recently and I felt like I could do it right then and there. I wanna at least spend the last holiday season with family. I just don't know
 
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DefiedOdds

DefiedOdds

Member
Nov 15, 2022
24
Every day is different. I've attempted a few methods and failed from lack of information/improper equipment. Just found out about this site not too long ago so now I'm not too sure when I'll do it. But feel very informed about new methods. Preferably once I find some sort of access to SN then I may CTB whenever that is obtained .
 
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