How many true friends do you have who aren't merely fair-weather friends?

[DeepSlumber]

I find that my so-called support system has drifted off, not able to handle depression in another. People are so afraid of their own issues getting triggered, or maybe they don't dig being around a bitter person who has experienced a ton of betrayal (can't blame them for that). But I cannot just paste on a smiley face and do the Dale Carnegie bullshit. I have always hated that phoney shit. But what if my depression and pessimism is learned, rather than purely genetic? Then, it's a habit I've acquired.
Oh well, within the year, I shall be no more, so fuck it. But do you feel the same sense of "abandonment" by others you've been there for? Salt in the wound, eh?

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not have friends, people can be very disappointing and can let you down. I see it as best to stay away from people, personally. I am very introverted and I need to be alone. I see it as best to not trust most people.

 

[DeepSlumber]

I do not have friends, people can be very disappointing and can let you down. I see it as best to stay away from people, personally. I am very introverted and I need to be alone. I see it as best to not trust most people.

I agree with that last sentence very much. Sad reality.

 

[Symbiote]

 

[ketchup sandwich]

I have neither true friends nor fairweather friends. At this point I even miss the fairweather friends. Being completely alone is Hell for someone with BPD like me.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I pushed them away

 

[its-about-time]

I had one very close friend who was also an ex, we talked all day every day for years and I told her everything. I ended contact with her a month or so ago for reasons. Now I have nobody I share how I'm doing with, just a couple people I see when I'm able or willing to put on a social face. But I kind of like it this way. I'm free to plan ctb without disruption.

 

[CommitSudoku]

It's hard to say, I used to have more, or at least the possibility of more. I left some of them or else let myself fade out of their lives nicely. Then I had a few who acted like they wanted to help me and all that but they'd get too busy or avoid me or just ignore things and I realized it was better to not overly confide in them or waste their time when it would end up causing me anxiety to open up and then go ignored, not to mention it was burdening them. If that happens enough, or happens with someone you really put a lot into, then it's hard to overcome the ensuing trust issues of always being ditched - I'm still to that point really. Now I've somewhat come to terms that this is who I am and I won't force myself to fake it but I'll give people an out if they want to leave and not hold it personally against anyone who does as I'd leave myself in a heartbeat. Same for this site as well. Mostly at this point I don't know the meaning to starting any new relationships, so only really this site does work since we could all be on a timeline really.

 

[DeepSlumber]

I have neither true friends nor fairweather friends. At this point I even miss the fairweather friends. Being completely alone is Hell for someone with BPD like me.

This forum can somehow compensate, it seems to me. Minimally, but it's a way of interacting, albeit anonymously, with others who are similarly seeing life in all its glorious bullshit.

 

[symphony]

1, and the only reason they put up with my constant whining is because they're equally depressed and suicidal.

 

[DeepSlumber]

1, and the only reason they put up with my constant whining is because they're equally depressed and suicidal.

Thankfully they're that way, else it would be as lonely for them as it would be for you.

 

[alwaysSuffering]

None. The people I know will not even answer the phone if I call, even if they know I'm suicidal. I've gone above and beyond to check on people and support people when I know they're struggling. But those same people will not ever reach out to me or even answer my calls. I've had to call hotlines just to have someone to talk to.

 

[Hurt]

I can count with my fingers. I love my friends but inner pain is unbearable.

 

[NotGonnaLast]

I have 1 friend. We've never met IRL but I'd like to meet her once before I die

 

[DontplayGod]

1, but I moved away and don't talk to him much anymore which kinda sucks

 

[waitingforrest]

Perhaps I did but I just pushed them away, but I know that I don't have any friends right now.

As edgy as it sounds, I don't expect much from people anymore. But I find solace that my pets won't ever betray me. Even though they can't talk,the comfort me more than people.

Maybe my pets are my friends :)

 

[Weebster]

1. The only thing about adulthood I'm thankful for.

 

[DeepSlumber]

Perhaps I did but I just pushed them away, but I know that I don't have any friends right now.

As edgy as it sounds, I don't expect much from people anymore. But I find solace that my pets won't ever betray me. Even though they can't talk,the comfort me more than people.

Maybe my pets are my friends :)

I love the pigeons that hang around. I know it's purely anthropomorphic, but I feel a connection (that's how desperate I am). Though one shat on my shoe the other other day, so there's that.

 

[LucieInTheDark]

I have no idea
It happened to me multiple times that people who I loved with all my heart, who I called friends simply up and left me without regard of the bond I formed with them.
Even though this happened to me multiple times it'll probably still keep happening since I'm just hopelessly addicted to love and attention from when they're here

 

[sopwithcamel]

I only have online friends, but it's better than nothing

 

[PigeonDreamzz]

I have 2.

 

[solisoccasus]

I find that my so-called support system has drifted off, not able to handle depression in another. People are so afraid of their own issues getting triggered, or maybe they don't dig being around a bitter person who has experienced a ton of betrayal (can't blame them for that). But I cannot just paste on a smiley face and do the Dale Carnegie bullshit. I have always hated that phoney shit. But what if my depression and pessimism is learned, rather than purely genetic? Then, it's a habit I've acquired.
Oh well, within the year, I shall be no more, so fuck it. But do you feel the same sense of "abandonment" by others you've been there for? Salt in the wound, eh?

Yes i have been there. Dude it's painful that they tell you 'we're here for you' then drift off like bubbles. I needed someone before and now i don't know if i'd be able to open up to them again. It's fucking hard to always do the first move just so you could talk again. Damn.

 

[Ednospatient]

I have 1 good friend I've told everything to.

 

[ArcherFiles44]

I find that my so-called support system has drifted off, not able to handle depression in another. People are so afraid of their own issues getting triggered, or maybe they don't dig being around a bitter person who has experienced a ton of betrayal (can't blame them for that). But I cannot just paste on a smiley face and do the Dale Carnegie bullshit. I have always hated that phoney shit. But what if my depression and pessimism is learned, rather than purely genetic? Then, it's a habit I've acquired.
Oh well, within the year, I shall be no more, so fuck it. But do you feel the same sense of "abandonment" by others you've been there for? Salt in the wound, eh?

One

 

[sealbabies]

Once it comes down to if you are just a source of inconvenience or discomfort most people distance.
I lost my partner, woke up to him dead, and all my/his friends don't know how to be around me and thus now finally opt not to.
Certainly I did take into account their discomfort and tried to tell them not to worry, but it is underlying and cannot be undone.
So no friends. No family.

 

[downndone2]

Two and one is back to drinking himself to death

 

[StarryStarry]

The only friend I have is four legged. My cat, Sweet Pea. She loves me unconditionally. I don't have to look a certain way or act a certain way. She accepts me and my PTSD, anxiety and depressioin. Had I known how great animals were years ago, I would have never gotten "married" or even thought about having friends. As soon as you tell someone you suffer with depression, they look at you as if you come from another planet and that's pretty much the last you'll see of them. So, zero human friends, one great, true friend.

 

[Hydrangea]

Two, and I'm grateful for them with all my heart.

 

[Huntfish34]

A few I guess,. But with the numerous true friends I used to have... Sadly pushed them away with my alcohol and drug induced state I used to be in for so many years. Still greatful for the few I have though .

 

[BrokenLine]

I thought i had some, but truth is they don't and never gave a fuck.