How many of you have gotten to a point where you lost all hope?

[fayth2567]

Hi,
Starting to get to the point where I lose all hope of getting rid of my suicidal thoughts. Trying different meds but there isn't a specific one for it. Are you close to losing all hope of getting better?

 

[Zegers]

No hope left

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Perhaps you'll never get rid of them. That's the case for a lot of us. Maybe the goal should be find a way to live with them rather than eliminate them.

 

[metalpi]

I'll never get rid of those thoughts and feeling but I love life. Life is horrible and beautiful, however I want to live as much as I can however I want to then die because I'll never escape death but I can choose it

 

[Zegers]

I'll never get rid of those thoughts and feeling but I love life

I guess that's a good start

 

[metalpi]

I guess that's a good start

it is. Everyone in the world will experience depression, some not to the point we do, but that should give you a bit of "hope". You should go on your own terms and not when it's the worst of the worst. You should die when you've experienced the worst of the worst and have lived through it do to what you want to do, when you can.

For me I can't forget the worst of the worst and I'm disabled, so I want to live as much as I can live then go, because I refuse to be put through all that pain and more pain without living how I want to live. I'm going to die anyways so why don't I just die the way I wanna? WHEN I want to as long as it isn't a rash decision and I know I lived as much as I want to and can live as much as I want to given the truths of life in our societies?

 

[Sakura94]

today yeah

 

[stermc]

I am completely sure I can't get rid of my suicidal thoughts. What I am trying to figure out is if there is any chance I can live a minimally satisfactory life while I am suicidal. You know, not letting these thoughts rule my life or something

 

[jodes2]

I've lost and regained hope many times. It comes and goes, hence my many attempts over 20 years

 

[Hollowman]

I smoked some weed recently after taking a long break. It gave me some hope and wiped out my ideation. I'm sure it won't last it never does but I'll take it.

 

[EndlessDream]

I smoked some weed recently after taking a long break. It gave me some hope and wiped out my ideation. I'm sure it won't last it never does but I'll take it.

Weed makes me depressed in that way. That feeling won't be forever as nothing will. Eventually I'll give in to the rope or pill

 

[Hollowman]

Weed makes me depressed in that way. That feeling won't be forever as nothing will. Eventually I'll give in to the rope or pill

I eventually will too unless I get in a freak accident and end up paralyzed.

 

[notwhereIbelong]

It's just a part of me at this point, I've been carrying them around for 10+ years, I doubt they're gonna go away any time soon. Even during my better times when life felt okay, they always came back eventually; there's no running away

 

[EndlessDream]

I eventually will too unless I get in a freak accident and end up paralyzed.

I wish my freak accident makes me leave this earth

 

[outrider567]

Hi,
Starting to get to the point where I lose all hope of getting rid of my suicidal thoughts. Trying different meds but there isn't a specific one for it. Are you close to losing all hope of getting better?

Certainly not getting better!

 

[sadloner]

havent wanted to be happy since about february last year because its stupid and pointless, then i realized around june that hanging isnt possible because si. since then just been waiting around to die and trying to get supplies together to do sn

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Never had hope. I was doomed from the start. It just became more apparent when my dysphoria festered.

 

[00nobody00]

Unfortunately, I feel that once you experience true suicidal thoughts, It becomes something that will always be a part of you. It's like that saying, "Stare into the abyss and the abyss stares right back." I only became legitimately suicidal just a few months ago and it really messed me up for awhile. It was giving me crippling depression to the point where I only left my bed to go to work. Even at work I would get panic attacks and would have to sneak off to ball my eyes out for a few minutes and then try to pull it together. I am sort of getting a better because I realize that I still have a few things to live for, but its still there with me at all times. I try to use it as a motivator now, but its also comforting knowing i will always have that option if I ever want to leave later.

 

[Forever Sleep]

To be honest, I only ever 'fought' my suicidal thoughts at the very beginning- I was only 10 at the time and initially they scared me- because I had been taught they were 'wrong'- suicides go to hell etc. It didn't take long for me to accept them as a logical reaction to the state my life was in. Ever since then, they have become a regular part of my thinking. I don't actually WANT to stop myself from doing it. I'm just frustrated because I feel like I can't- impact on family members, fear etc.

What I have pretty much lost hope in is that things will get any better. I can only see them getting worse. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised but I've found hope for improvement has quite often set me up for a fall in the past- so, I'm reluctant to believe it's anything but likely false hope if and when I do feel it.

 

[AloneInCollege]

I feel like I have 0 or close to 0 hope left.

 

[blanket99]

I have a shred of hope left, but it's hanging on by a thread. Every potential path out of my situation feels insurmountable and hardly guarantees success (whatever that means). I'm sure my thoughts are clouded but the reward doesn't feel worth the effort.

Sorry to be a downer, ultimately I don't have it left in me anymore. The shred of hope is that I wake up tomorrow and figure this all out, or by some miracle everything will come together.

 

[FuneralCry]

There is no such thing as hope, the idea of hope is really just a delusion to lead to more suffering being experienced. In my case I have never wished to be here at all, and existing is something that I despise. The reality is that existing beings are just in this world to suffer, deteriorate and die, and I want nothing to do with something so useless and unnecessary as life. My hatred towards life and seeing existence as not being worth enduring is just being realistic, it's a burden having to exist in this world, and I will always be suicidal no matter what. To me it makes sense to wish to die when the true problem lies in life itself.

 

[downndone2]

All my hope is gone...

 

[JB3567]

I'm beyond the concept of hope just looking for a way out at the moment

 

[Unhumanly.]

To hope feels like fooling myself

 

[BlackWednesday]

My suicidal thoughts will never go away. The best I can do is distract myself from them for a little bit. I have very little hope that I will survive for much longer

 

[bigdog]

Shit life is so bad that it gives hope and later it takes it away. It is pathetic pure luck.

 

[Sovereign]

Simply hoping will never be good enough. Filling yourself with discipline and motivation is what is necessary to get yourself out of hopeless despair, but those are things that are very hard to achieve when you're already out of energy, mentally, emotionally or physically

 

[outrider567]

Sense of loss always omnipresent, no hope of getting better, none

 

[twxsted]

Hi,
Starting to get to the point where I lose all hope of getting rid of my suicidal thoughts. Trying different meds but there isn't a specific one for it. Are you close to losing all hope of getting better?

no hope left, and people are not making it any better. i try to be energetic throughout the day at school, i try to talk, greet, have a discussion with my schoolmates, but all that happens is me getting ignored. It might seem like a really little deal, but i swear, it hurts so much inside. you feel like you do not exist, and how does it matter, if you are dead and noone listens to you, or when you are alive