How many of you are socially anxious?

[esistzeit]

Because I was bullied and sexually abused during childhood, I grew up scared of people and unable to connect with them.

My social skills are non-existent and this has had several negative impacts on my life.

Even simple things like going out to the store makes me nervous. To this day, I get really anxious whenever I go past a school and see several students hanging around; I'm always thinking that they are going to make fun of me.

But I am still human in nature and I miss this connection. I tell myself I am an introvert but, upon reflection, maybe I was forced into that position because many of my human interactions were unpleasant, so I learned that being alone didn't hurt as much.

What about you? Are you also scared of the simplest things that involve other people?

 

[cracklingroses]

I am really sorry you had those experiences and were so deeply impacted by them. The kind of hyper vigilance that trauma can cause is really hard to deal with, especially as it seems to carry on with us long after the traumas happened. I can definitely understand how this affected your social skills.

I really relate to you. I deal with a lot of hyper vigilance myself as well due to abuse and bullying in early childhood, adolescence, and psychiatric trauma from adolescence to now.

I grew up an only child in a really small family. It has been only my parents and my grandmother since I was 4, until I got my two dogs when I was older. I was always an outcast for lots of reasons and was always isolated. I was always around adults.

So yeah I have always been really isolated. I don't even talk to people online. The most I do is comment on posts whether that be forums or on people's art online. I don't do discord or voice chat when gaming. Just too much anxiety and distrust with people. Also just listening to the people on voice chat reminds me of school and I am like yeah, no thanks.

It is so hard being isolated though. I'm sorry you go through this. I hope you can find some sort of support that works for you

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I have social anxiety and I wish that I could simply avoid irl social interactions completely. I don't want to adapt and change myself. I simply just don't want to be in a situation where I have to interact with others. It's so unfair that I'm forced to be in irl social situations. I don't know why I have social anxiety but I have no desire to deal with it

 

[Grumble]

"Socially anxious" doesn't even begin to describe my fear of people and avoidance of intimate connections with them.

But yes, this label definitely applies to me.

 

[corruptible_angel]

I have a very high social anxiety. Used to be really bad. I have improved a bit but still tortuously bad.

 

[Degen]

Can't leave the house most times, partly a fatigue issue though

 

[Mebius]

No, i just dont give a fuck anymore. I work at my job and talk to a lot of people normally. I was recluse for years before.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I would say yes. Not to the extreme of not being able to go into public places but certain things, I become a nervous wreck over. I struggle working with people. Especially making mistakes in front of them and being judged by them. I hate eating in front of people. But yeah, random situations make me a mess.

I gave blood regularly at one point and, while they were doing the finger prick test to check iron levels, I was shaking like a leaf. The lady was really sweet and she was like- 'Are you afraid of needles?' I thought it would just be too ridiculous to say- 'No, I'm afraid of people!'

Do you ever wonder how it would be not to feel like this? How many things it holds you back from or, stops you properly enjoying? It's something I probably should have done something about a long time ago. Now, I simply don't want to challenge myself. It must be months and months since I left the house- asides from putting the bins out. I work from home. It's not as extreme for me as some poor soles but, it's still severely limited my life- or rather, I've let it limit me because it felt easier/ safer.

 

[turbomightbegone]

I believe I have extreme social anxiety.

Just the thought of trying to communicate with a random person often sends me into a downwards spiral. It's the main reason why I don't go outside often as i constantly overthink about people staring at me and mocking me and disapproving of me. I often have a mental breakdown after because of it all. It's caused me to automatically hate most people.

What really fucking sucks is that I was finding it easier to communicate with people online, but now my anxiety has become worse and has started affecting me socialising on the internet too. It's made me feel more alone which i absolutely fucking despise.

I often spend all day just laying on my bed and overthinking. Talking with pretty much anyone always send me into a depressive and panicked state, if not a downwards spiral of mental breakdowns. But at the same time I crave affection, so that combined with extreme social anxiety really drags me down further.

I hate people, and fear the thought of communicating with them,, but at the same time I crave love and attention from them

 

[esistzeit]

I would say yes. Not to the extreme of not being able to go into public places but certain things, I become a nervous wreck over. I struggle working with people. Especially making mistakes in front of them and being judged by them. I hate eating in front of people. But yeah, random situations make me a mess.

I gave blood regularly at one point and, while they were doing the finger prick test to check iron levels, I was shaking like a leaf. The lady was really sweet and she was like- 'Are you afraid of needles?' I thought it would just be too ridiculous to say- 'No, I'm afraid of people!'

Do you ever wonder how it would be not to feel like this? How many things it holds you back from or, stops you properly enjoying? It's something I probably should have done something about a long time ago. Now, I simply don't want to challenge myself. It must be months and months since I left the house- asides from putting the bins out. I work from home. It's not as extreme for me as some poor soles but, it's still severely limited my life- or rather, I've let it limit me because it felt easier/ safer.

I know what you mean. I must have done only 25% of what a normal human being has done. All because of this paralyzing fear that haunts me since an early age. I also no longer have what it takes to change things; I'm just too tired and scared...

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

Because I was bullied and sexually abused during childhood, I grew up scared of people and unable to connect with them.

My social skills are non-existent and this has had several negative impacts on my life.

Even simple things like going out to the store makes me nervous. To this day, I get really anxious whenever I go past a school and see several students hanging around; I'm always thinking that they are going to make fun of me.

But I am still human in nature and I miss this connection. I tell myself I am an introvert but, upon reflection, maybe I was forced into that position because many of my human interactions were unpleasant, so I learned that being alone didn't hurt as much.

What about you? Are you also scared of the simplest things that involve other people?

I'm not socially anxious, but I have severe anxiety around the possibility of failure. I do fine talking to people casually, but whenever there's any sort of responsibility involved I tense up.

 

[esistzeit]

at the same time I crave affection/love and attention

I understand and relate to you 100%

I wish I was normal, you know. I wish I hadn't been bullied. I wish my father had been there. I wish I weren't such a coward. I wish I were able to connect with people and live a normal life, but I don't seem to be able to

 

[turbomightbegone]

I understand and relate to you 100%

I wish I was normal, you know. I wish I hadn't been bullied. I wish my father had been there. I wish I weren't such a coward. I wish I were able to connect with people and live a normal life, but I don't seem to be able to

I resonate a lot with what you said. I'm terribly sorry that you've been going through this,, generic cliche shit but I do hope that you manage to heal/get better in the future, or at least manage to get affection without it hurting you. I'm sorry I cant say much but I hope my few words manage to help in some way, even for just a little while <33

 

[Lost Magic]

I'm sad to hear that you had to go through those horrible things growing up. I had a lot of devils around me growing up too. The scars cut deep and now I am left with crushing social anxiety. Just going out the house takes a lot of effort.

 

[max_vader2]

I'm also socially anxious, but not soy extreme as other people here

I found that it was because I always expect a bad outcome when interacting with other people. Society taught me that people generally behaved badly with me.

The solution I found was to pretend I'm a charismatic winner, and people treated me like that.

So I fake being this very social person, to the point my doctors are shocked when I tell them about my CBT idealisation.

If people don't know that I'm a loser, they won't treat me as such

 

[RABITIA]

I'm so socially anxious that I feel intense mental pain just walking outside among people.

 

[a.hamza.13]

Because I was bullied and sexually abused during childhood, I grew up scared of people and unable to connect with them.

My social skills are non-existent and this has had several negative impacts on my life.

Even simple things like going out to the store makes me nervous. To this day, I get really anxious whenever I go past a school and see several students hanging around; I'm always thinking that they are going to make fun of me.

But I am still human in nature and I miss this connection. I tell myself I am an introvert but, upon reflection, maybe I was forced into that position because many of my human interactions were unpleasant, so I learned that being alone didn't hurt as much.

What about you? Are you also scared of the simplest things that involve other people?

I'm extremely autistic and afraid of even the simplest things that involve people. I wish I would never have to talk to anybody but unfortunately I have to.

 

[Raven2]

Used to really struggle with social anxiety. I've managed to overcome it for the most part.

 

[esistzeit]

Used to really struggle with social anxiety. I've managed to overcome it for the most part.

Do tell how you did it

 

[Moniker]

I always feel really sad and pathetic when talking with people. It makes me a nervous wreck. I'm good at speaking in front of crowds though - better than most. I think as time has gone on, socializing feels more like a chore to be done than a massive hurdle to overcome.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

For the love of everything holy, YES I am unbelievably socially anxious and it's crushing my life down... It's literally the reason (major one) that made me want to choose to go down the path of CTB. I can't trust people (I don't have "trust issues" I just know people can be shitty and I am tired of it, sickened by it), I can't talk to people, I can't interact with people I can't fucking be out in public among people my age without freaking out.

It is a fucking mess I can't stand to live a life where I'm afraid to exist... I am too weak for this "society"...

 

[tb1998]

I hear you, I was anxious at a young age for some reason. Literally over everything so I knew it would get worse for me.
But I think everybody in some way is an anxious person but maybe they mask it so well?! Some people are just consumed with anxiety though:(
I wish there was a magic cure sometimes.

 

[FlufflesAway]

For the socially inept there is no life worth living. There's just misery, alienation and isolation. I think there are feedback mechanisms that make the issue worse and worse as time goes on.

It's an absurd condition. Are we not supposed to be social creatures?

I can go out in public now, but that's not an alleviation of any 'anxiety', but an increase in apathy and despair. I still think people perceive me as a creep. I'm still uncomfortable around people. I still think someone will blow up at me at any random time. Oh well. I'd like some soda please.

 

[esistzeit]

For the socially inept there is no life worth living. There's just misery, alienation and isolation. I think there are feedback mechanisms that make the issue worse and worse as time goes on.

It's an absurd condition. Are we not supposed to be social creatures?

I can go out in public now, but that's not an alleviation of any 'anxiety', but an increase in apathy and despair. I still think people perceive me as a creep. I'm still uncomfortable around people. I still think someone will blow up at me at any random time. Oh well. I'd like some soda please.

This is so true. It's all about how well you can interact with people. If you can the world is yours and if you can't you're doomed. Sadly, I did not put enough points into charisma... Now it's too late.

 

[lamargue]

yeah, it's pretty alienating. i'm probably hardwired for it

 

[divinemistress36]

Very. I have a lot of memory loss so I dont know what people are talking about most the time and I have no hobbies so wth do I talk to people about?

 

[FlufflesAway]

Very. I have a lot of memory loss so I dont know what people are talking about most the time and I have no hobbies so wth do I talk to people about?

Very relatable. I can't focus on what people are talking about, especially in groups... and I'm constantly thinking how can I contribute?? What can I say?? My genuine thoughts are so alien to what I hear people say it feels like I can't say them, and I spend most of my life as a mute I don't know how to put them into coherent thoughts.

"How was your week?" Um... what did I do this week? I don't know. I feel miserable. Hello fellow co-worker, want to create a labour union? Have you thought about how democratic ideals are espoused by politicians but any democratic-movement within a workplace is tantamount to quitting? I like trains.