How many of you are in a relationship?

[L.D.50]

I'm curious as to how many people here are in a committed relationship as well.
I'm in a two year long distance relationship with my boyfriend, and i feel a lot of guilt for still being as miserable as i am.
its not like i don't talk with him about this, he's incredibly understanding and shows nothing but support
he knows he can't change the way i feel and i have a tendency to hurt myself
i think I'm a horrible person for being with him
if he weren't here i know i would have nothing to live for
and the times he's gone for work or on vacation assures me of that
but even though hes perfect, and i love him so much
i still want more than anything to not be alive
i love him, but i hate my life more
and i dont know what to do.

 

[martyrdom]

I was in a very loving relationship up until recently, when I broke it off because of my trauma and my plan to kill myself. Love can help considerably but it can't fix everything, and it's not a failure on your part that you aren't "fixed" or made completely happy by love. It's not a slight or some kind of injustice against him. And you're certainly not a horrible person for being with someone you love and who loves you. If he knows you're suicidal, it's his own decision whether to accept that you might not be there anymore one day and choose whether or not to stay. But you also can't "spare" him the pain by breaking up with him - if he loves you, and it sounds like he does, he will be in a lot of pain at your loss even if you leave him first. It's one of those tragic situations of life where no one is at fault.

I'm not sure if you want advice, or if I have any useful advice to give, I would just say that it's not a crime to enjoy your time with him and find comfort in his love until you decide to go, if you do. I know that personally, if the person I loved was suicidal I would want to soak up as much time as I could with her as possible, and while I'd hope she wouldn't leave, I would prefer being with her for as long as she would stay over anything else. It would break my heart if she blamed herself.

 

[Pluto]

 

[darksouls]

I am alone since my female dog left me in 2020, no friends, no social contacts

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I'm in a 10+ year long distance relationship. I definitely wouldn't be sane/alive today if it wasn't for my partner.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Long distance, he is my rock, hoping for a future together again.