I have multiple disabilities and illnesses. Physically, I have a lifelong disability, CFS/ME, arthritis, IBS, post impairment syndrome, Raynaud's and chronic muscle, joint, nerve and back pain, recurring headaches, shortsightedness and other visual issues.
I suspect fibromyalgia and I fit the criteria for sleep apnoea, but I have given up acquiring a diagnosis. Healthcare services have a tendency to blame everything on my disability and avoid further investigation, despite the fact I have been correct about every condition I have so far.
In addition to the above, I have Complex PTSD, OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder, mixed depression and anxiety (caused by the PTSD in my circumstances) and a recent diagnosis of dissociative amnesia. I strongly suspect Autism and ADHD as well - they fit my experiences and would explain so much - but would need a specialist referral to diagnose these and I'm not sure if there is even any point in further 'specialist' assessments when the healthcare system has repeatedly caused such devastating harm.
Being overweight and unattractive is simply the nail in the coffin. Being disabled and ill is only made infinitely worse by having further flaws and undesirable characteristics that hinder any chance of social mobility. If you aren't already discriminated against and ostracised for being disabled and sick, you sure as hell will be if you're unattractive on top of it all.
Because who cares about a disabled, sick, fat and ugly mentally ill woman? I am regarded as utterly expendable (unless I suddenly become beautiful and healthy, which will never happen), yet also expected to be grateful for any breadcrumbs of basic dignity and decency thrown my way, as though it is altruistic to not treat me like a subhuman creature.
Having conditions that simultaneously ravage my body and my brain every second of every day is hell on earth (particularly little understood, highly stigmatised and poorly treated illnesses). Being disabled, disparaged and undesirable in this society is simply an agonising, drawn out death sentence. Not only because of the pain and suffering caused by such conditions, but also due to the additional pain and suffering inflicted by an inherently ableist and cutthroat culture that considers vulnerable citizens burdensome, disposable and a waste of resources.