fillthevoid
Member
- Nov 15, 2021
- 87
For around 15 years things have been not right with me. I always wished I was dead, but it wasn't until probably the past few years that I started seriously considering how to go about actually doing it myself. Now, I'm on a knife edge. I feel there's still a tiny shread of hope for me.. but I don't know if it's just my SI telling me that, because in reality 15 years of misery should be enough to tell me it doesn't get better. The thing is I don't really want to die. I just don't want this life. But I have tried and if after all this time nothing has changed, then I don't realistically see it changing now either. It seems the logical thing to suicide at this point, but I'm a coward I guess clinging to a dream that doesn't exist. I don't want another 15 years like this.
