Got on this site about half a month ago because I'm bipolar and at times get really depressed. Don't remember quite how I found it, but when I did I was happy to find a place of so many people that are going through similar things as me. I'm not sure how I feel about it now, it's honestly a very depressing site to be on. I've gone through a lot of older posts of people hanging around, interacting, and then saying their goodbyes. Makes me wonder how many of the people that I interact with will do the same in the coming days, or if I'm going to be the one saying goodbye soon.
This shit is an echo-chamber and I have noticed that I ruminate on suicide much more because I'm always around the topic. On the other hand, learning about methods to CTB has somehow lifted a lot of the weight off my shoulders. Makes me feel like I have a back up plan if things get too shitty.
I have also genuinely enjoyed talking to some of the users and can tell that there are some good, but confused, people on here. Deep down I WANT TO LIVE! I'm just not going to live the life I WANTED, but I might still have a chance to live a fulfilling life. I'm going to stick around on the site and in my life for a bit longer, even if just for the memes... WE FIGHT ON! IF I AM NOT GIVEN WHAT I WANT I WILL FUCKING TAKE IT!!
This could be the bipolarity speaking though hahahhaha