Help How is it that some ppl can easily get over their past?

[przeciwwymiotne]

I had a friend whose life struggles looked like that: has a problem---> is upset----> reconsiders their life/goals/relationships----> finds a solution ---> sticks to it----> never has this problem again
It's never looked like that for me. I either get stuck at 'is upset' or 'finds a solution' but I don't stick to it because I always get back to the old patterns of behaviour. I've been stuck with the same problems for years, I don't grow or change. Constantly sabotage myself. Am I just wired differently than her? Is it my upbringing?Can I break the cycle? Will I ever be able to get over stuff this effortlessly?

 

[SunshineAndSuicide]

I had a friend whose life struggles looked like that: has a problem---> is upset----> reconsiders their life/goals/relationships----> finds a solution ---> sticks to it----> never has this problem again
It's never looked like that for me. I either get stuck at 'is upset' or 'finds a solution' but I don't stick to it because I always get back to the old patterns of behaviour. I've been stuck with the same problems for years, I don't grow or change. Constantly sabotage myself. Am I just wired differently than her? Is it my upbringing?Can I break the cycle? Will I ever be able to get over stuff this effortlessly?

I have all the same questions and none of the answers. I have to go with different people are differently wired yes. We can't all expect to live life the same. That's why some people go through horrendous shit but still come out alive, well and thriving on the other side and some people turn suicidal at the slightest inconvenience.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

I have all the same questions and none of the answers. I have to go with different people are differently wired yes. We can't all expect to live life the same. That's why some people go through horrendous shit but still come out alive, well and thriving on the other side and some people turn suicidal at the slightest inconvenience.

I'm jealous, she cut me out of her life for being pessimistic and not improving. I feel like a lesser human being which is probably true. I am astounded that people get through life without anxiety and self doubt at every corner. The worst part is that when people are all right they just simply are, there's no underlying hack or trick. No special circumstances. I could easily be happy and move one. I used to kinda be at the point of healing but it's all gone now. I hate being so weak, I honestly think I'm a background character. Wish I could change my brain. I like to believe it's possible.

 

[SunshineAndSuicide]

I'm jealous, she cut me out of her life for being pessimistic and not improving. I feel like a lesser human being which is probably true. I am astounded that people get through life without anxiety and self doubt at every corner. The worst part is that when people are all right they just simply are, there's no underlying hack or trick. No special circumstances. I could easily be happy and move one. I used to kinda be at the point of healing but it's all gone now. I hate being so weak, I honestly think I'm a background character. Wish I could change my brain. I like to believe it's possible.

I won't say lesser, just different from her. But, still, you are not alone in this problem, which is a really crappy silver lining. Thousands of people struggle with this, and it's not fair that our brains don't do their job properly. I also get jealous when seeing how people genuinely enjoy and succeed in life. Maybe changing brains lie in a killer combination of medication, idk.. that's what I'm hoping for.

 

[Capsaicin78]

they dont have mental health problems then I guess.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

they dont have mental health problems then I guess.

Yeaa...

 

[Hollowillow]

I had a friend whose life struggles looked like that: has a problem---> is upset----> reconsiders their life/goals/relationships----> finds a solution ---> sticks to it----> never has this problem again
It's never looked like that for me. I either get stuck at 'is upset' or 'finds a solution' but I don't stick to it because I always get back to the old patterns of behaviour. I've been stuck with the same problems for years, I don't grow or change. Constantly sabotage myself. Am I just wired differently than her? Is it my upbringing?Can I break the cycle? Will I ever be able to get over stuff this effortlessly?

I couldn't quit drugs when I simply denied myself the coping mechanism while believing that it was the best.

But now I found that nutrition works way better because vitamins help to heal & do vital functions. I don't give a damn about any drugs anymore not even prescribed. Pain killers stops healing and increase pain long term. Fuck that shit.

So... Conviction that you wisely made a superior choice. I still eat junk food sometimes, no need to be perfect. But I have the strong conviction that it cannot be my main diet or I get in pain.

Hard to advise without knowing what.

Some people have better opportunities & social support.

Obese people wanting to stop eating out at junk food places might need new friends with other hobbies. They will do pressure to give up otherwise.

I don't really know how to win at life. I know people lie & hide