TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,707
Recently, I've gotten back into pokemon and it was a trip back to the past, the nostalgia and all. I mainly play the older generations (II-IV, maybe V) and I just recalled a story when I was young and how I learned the and understood the concept of selfishness. Anyways, here is my story.
Back in childhood, during elementary and my preadolescence years, I had a family friend who played pokemon. This was in the early 2000's the beginning of the 21st century. He was also a kid similar to me, albeit a year or two older than me. I was 10 years of age and he was about 12-13 years of age (I'll refer to him as FF). He had pokemon silver as well as pokemon stadium. I was heavily into video games and just daydreamed about pokemon all the time. However, given that my parents were helicopter parents and were restrictive, I never had the chance to play pokemon silver at that time, so I eagerly wanted to play. So 'FF' in this situation refused to allow me to play and I was sad. After it was time to leave, I was bitter and angry that he was mean, not wanting to share, but back then, I never really considered all the circumstances and of course, as a 10 year old (at that time) lacking critical thinking skills, rational line of thinking, and all; mainly acted on instincts and emotions, I was always sad and mad and just oversimplified everything. One such example was when I was thinking philosophically but overly simplistic at said time, "If I can't enjoy life or have fun, then what's the point of living?" Of course, it may be deep for someone who is really young at the time, but again, I lacked coherent thinking, my logic was not sound but rather flawed, and never really questioned or had other perspectives.
It wasn't until I was almost in college that I slowly gained insight, much more self-awareness, and eventually rational thinking to be able to rationalize, parse, and weave through logic in life. That was also my bane as well, due to the fact that I am an Aspie (yes I was officially diagnosed with Aspergers during my teenage years and later in early adulthood), so while I gained insight and had such high IQ, it has cursed me in other areas in life that I wished it wasn't so; namely social life, people interactions, and just day to day life (it's one of my major reasons for wanting to CTB - and I've made numerous other threads on it). When I was in college, I realized I was the selfish little shit because I didn't consider that it was his game, his file (pokemon games only had one file), and whatever I did, even if benevolent, could affect his game in ways that he did not wish for it to be. So since I had that realization, I figured I was in the wrong and he was in the right.
Additionally, another important lesson and it was something I came to learn only after becoming a more serious casual gamer, is that gamers take their files and games seriously, just like musicians with music, artists with art, and athletes with their sports. It is their pride and joy, and even if I only had benevolent intentions, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, so it's better safe than sorry. It would be incredibly selfish and wrong to want something from them that they cherish a lot and want to protect. I also don't want to risk sullying their gem.
Does anyone have any stories of when they first learned about the concept of selfishness and eventually turned around and felt bad about oneself?
Back in childhood, during elementary and my preadolescence years, I had a family friend who played pokemon. This was in the early 2000's the beginning of the 21st century. He was also a kid similar to me, albeit a year or two older than me. I was 10 years of age and he was about 12-13 years of age (I'll refer to him as FF). He had pokemon silver as well as pokemon stadium. I was heavily into video games and just daydreamed about pokemon all the time. However, given that my parents were helicopter parents and were restrictive, I never had the chance to play pokemon silver at that time, so I eagerly wanted to play. So 'FF' in this situation refused to allow me to play and I was sad. After it was time to leave, I was bitter and angry that he was mean, not wanting to share, but back then, I never really considered all the circumstances and of course, as a 10 year old (at that time) lacking critical thinking skills, rational line of thinking, and all; mainly acted on instincts and emotions, I was always sad and mad and just oversimplified everything. One such example was when I was thinking philosophically but overly simplistic at said time, "If I can't enjoy life or have fun, then what's the point of living?" Of course, it may be deep for someone who is really young at the time, but again, I lacked coherent thinking, my logic was not sound but rather flawed, and never really questioned or had other perspectives.
It wasn't until I was almost in college that I slowly gained insight, much more self-awareness, and eventually rational thinking to be able to rationalize, parse, and weave through logic in life. That was also my bane as well, due to the fact that I am an Aspie (yes I was officially diagnosed with Aspergers during my teenage years and later in early adulthood), so while I gained insight and had such high IQ, it has cursed me in other areas in life that I wished it wasn't so; namely social life, people interactions, and just day to day life (it's one of my major reasons for wanting to CTB - and I've made numerous other threads on it). When I was in college, I realized I was the selfish little shit because I didn't consider that it was his game, his file (pokemon games only had one file), and whatever I did, even if benevolent, could affect his game in ways that he did not wish for it to be. So since I had that realization, I figured I was in the wrong and he was in the right.
Additionally, another important lesson and it was something I came to learn only after becoming a more serious casual gamer, is that gamers take their files and games seriously, just like musicians with music, artists with art, and athletes with their sports. It is their pride and joy, and even if I only had benevolent intentions, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, so it's better safe than sorry. It would be incredibly selfish and wrong to want something from them that they cherish a lot and want to protect. I also don't want to risk sullying their gem.
Does anyone have any stories of when they first learned about the concept of selfishness and eventually turned around and felt bad about oneself?
Last edited:
