Discussion How have your interactions with "Suicide Prevention" Lines gone in the past?

[gogoprince]

Hey, I'm a former Crisis Text Line volunteer. I gave up on the platform after a person contacted me "thanking" us for sending the police to his house and publicly humiliating him in front of his neighbors and his family: safe to say he probably didn't feel less like killing himself after. It broke my heart being on that platform a lot of times just seeing how, in spite of all the good that came of it (people feeling they were able to share things they couldn't with other people) there was also this looming threat of us violating the other person's autonomy. I had a couple experiences reaching out to suicide hotlines where they threatened to send the authorities, but it never materialized thankfully.
I'm currently writing an essay, mostly for myself, about how I think these methods are wrong, and violate personal autonomy and was just wondering if anyone had any sort of negative, or even positive experience with this situation? And what has your experience been as a whole with these types of organizations? Did they help you sometimes, none of the time, etc.?

They call them "Active Rescues" in the biz, btw which is kind of fucked up in my opinion because they probably end up with the person in debt from hospital bills, and trauma from the experience as a whole.

 

[LifeHasNoOptIn]

Jesus, I didn't even know that was a thing. I have never called a hotline, but I thought the whole point was anonymous help with no judgement. Good thing I know this now so I will know better than to ever consider their "help".

 

[sealbabies]

There were times I attempted hotlines, but as soon as I felt it getting close to them sending anyone out I said I was feeling better and thanked them so much for hearing me out.
It got tricky sometimes because I still had to be careful with how honest I would be with the person and how long I could actually sneak it in for help. Never long enough, just felt anxious and a bit more isolated after if I'm being honest. Stopped trying those hotlines once I was 23. Almost 29 now.

Edit: Also Idk if every area does this, but when they asked my zip I always gave a different one as maybe another line of defense.

 

[Oblivion Access]

Never called a hotline but had someone call police on me when I was suicidal. Basically ruined my life at the time, my relationships, job and future housing prospects all got fucked up badly thanks to the "rescue" and I was forced to live with my parents again which didn't help at all. At least it didn't put me several k deeper into debt? Lol.

Worth noting some suicide hotlines also sell off your information. Very scummy.

 

[Symbiote]

It's ran by volunteers who decided one day, "Hey I'm great at helping my friends, let me help others too so I can brag on social media about what a good person I really am!" Bunch of virtue signalling hypocrites and narcissists inhabit these hotlines whether it's the domestic abuse hotline or suicide hotline. Anyone can do it and the vetting process is so stringent. Most of the time they read from a script, they lack the depth of putting themselves in your shoes or the empathy to feel your emotions and the pain. Plus if certain words are said, they have the ability to summon the police at your door pretty quickly. And some days like they really just doing it for volunteer hours would summon the police to fill a quota.

The entire suicide prevention and hotline movement is a sham meant to demean and dehumanize mentally ill people. Fuck them.

 

[Freedomindeath4me]

Didn't really help but my problems simply aren't helpable so I don't really know what I expected.

 

[houseofleaves]

they probably end up with the person in debt from hospital bills.

jeez that's so fucked up i can't even imagine. [russia isn't the most comfortable country to live in, but what i love about it is free healthcare and simplicity of getting SN…]

 

[silent staring void]

I called a few times but the line was taken. Probably for the best, from what I've read.
Another fun fact is that Ted Bundy used to work at a suicide hotline.

 

[Cathy Ames]

After you have been here longer and have enough posts, you can use the search function to find more accounts. I think there are some on Reddit as well.

For example....

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/crisis-text-line-is-a-joke.68287/

Personally, I wouldn't ever call or text one of these due to the concern of having police called on me for a welfare check or whatever. And I hope you won't write your essay in a manner that causes an even bigger bunch of gawkers to come to this site.

 

[wljourney]

"Welfare checks" are literally murder for BIPOC.

I absolutely cannot fathom how a "support group" would knowingly put the life of someone at risk by sending police to their home.

It's the worst kind of "I was just trying to help" there is.

Personally, I wouldn't want to share personal, intimate details with a total stranger who has zero background on where I am coming from.

These orgs might help some people. I am not one of them and never will be.

 

[deathbydragon]

Suicide Hotlines Bill Themselves as Confidential—Even as Some Trace Your Call

The calls are supposed to be confidential. But suicide hotline centers trace them anyway and send police to frightened, vulnerable people.

www.madinamerica.com

Roll-out of 988 Threatens Anonymity of Crisis Hotlines

The 988 suicide lifeline is lobbying for cutting-edge mass surveillance and tracking technology. Privacy experts are raising concerns.

www.madinamerica.com

"one study of just four NSPL centers found that the number of times police were sent out ranged from 0.5% to 8.5% of calls."
If you really have to talk to a hotline, seek out a local one with a stated and strict no-tracing policy.
If that turns out to be a lie and your life is fucked over for it, sue them.
Or, if you decide to ctb, make a very big and very public deal about what led to it.

 

[gogoprince]

"Welfare checks" are literally murder for BIPOC.

I absolutely cannot fathom how a "support group" would knowingly put the life of someone at risk by sending police to their home.

It's the worst kind of "I was just trying to help" there is.

Personally, I wouldn't want to share personal, intimate details with a total stranger who has zero background on where I am coming from.

These orgs might help some people. I am not one of them and never will be.

They definitely help some people: there are a bunch of studies that prove people feel better in the short term after these talks, but the thing is there also aren't studies that suggest suicide hotlines do anything to prevent suicide. I say if something's bothering you other than suicide, and there's a good volunteer on the other end: you could get something out of it.

I also personally started on the platform because I experienced/experience suicidal thoughts and, to the organization's credit, they encourage people who have had past mental health crises to apply because they feel they'll be more empathetic. That's not to say those people "understand where you're coming from", but there's more common ground than you might expect.

I ultimately though don't understand the logic of welfare checks either because they claim to have this whole algorithm based on the top research into suicide but can't understand that sending the cops on someone just because they're suicidal will either a) make them more suicidal after the embarrassment and trauma, or b) end in their detainment or literal murder. That, and a couple other conversations, were heartbreaking.

 

[UnravelingWinter]

I've talked to people on crisis text lines that didn't seem to help much, but I've also found the occasional really good listener on 7cups. It's a mixed bag, but some of them are very good at what they do.

I've never talked over the phone since it would probably just be me sobbing uncontrollably while trying to explain how I'm feeling.

 

[Lost Magic]

In all honesty, The Samaritans, were really kind to me when I needed them. Everybody has different experiences with hotlines but mines were positive, for the most part. I wish I had N back then. It would have been a little easier, because I was stick thin and grieving. I would have died quicker and drunk it as soon as I got it. I know I sound conflicted. I just wanted to vent to anybody that would listen back then. Similar in a way to how I vent and talk about how I feel on here. In a way this has replaced my need for the Samaritans lol. Strange as it may sound.

 

[gogoprince]

In all honesty, The Samaritans, were really kind to me when I needed them. Everybody has different experiences with hotlines but mines were positive, for the most part. I wish I had N back then. It would have been a little easier, because I was stick thin and grieving. I would have died quicker and drunk it as soon as I got it. I know I sound conflicted. I just wanted to vent to anybody that would listen back then. Similar in a way to how I vent and talk about how I feel on here. In a way this has replaced my need for the Samaritans lol. Strange as it may sound.

I believe part of The Samaritans whole thing is that they won't call the cops on you. Unfortunately there are only a few chapters in the US. It seems like more of a UK/Ireland thing.

edit: p.s. the Trans Lifeline also won't call the cops on you

 

[Lost Magic]

I believe part of The Samaritans whole thing is that they won't call the cops on you. Unfortunately there are only a few chapters in the US. It seems like more of a UK/Ireland thing.

Yeah, I don't know how they operate in the US, but in the UK I did threaten suicide many times, and never had any police visits. In fact one night my heart was racing, I was really frail and weak and took a bunch of pills and the Samaritan just hung on till the end. It was actually really comforting, but alas I survived haha. I'm sorry to hear you have different ways of operating across the pond. It sounds messy.

 

[twilightfairy]

I called one once and they called the police on me. I was escorted to the hospital for assessment. I was referred to community mental health. The cops lied in their report on how they found me. They said they found me actively trying to hang myself. I was asleep in bed. Made me out to be a liar to the psych. They also tried to take my drivers licence saying I was a risk to myself. Long story short I will never call again. They lost my trust.

 

[symphony]

Wow. Thanks for sharing, @gogoprince. If you're open to it, I'd love to hear more of your stories, including how the center operated and what training you received.

I've used the national lifeline (call), national lifeline online chat, and crisis text line. Thankfully I haven't had any truly awful experiences where authorities got involved, but I've never had great experiences either. Most were mediocre. I frequently felt like I was just another problem to be fixed, to be read a script to, just to have the conversation abruptly cut off after enough time elapsed, regardless of my needs. I generally felt unseen and invalidated. The standout winner was the time the operator sincerely suggested I try taking a hot bath instead of hanging myself. Wow! I'm cured, why did I never think of that! I was so thrown off that I pretended to agree with the operator just so I could get off the damn phone.

 

[downndone2]

Here in the US, the hotline is a joke imo. They are volunteers and everything is scripted. I've text out hotline several time in the past 2 years. Each time it has been the same reply. They want to mane sure you arent actively suicidal or immediate threat to yourself, then they throw some references for outreach your way. I looked up the references but never attended any of the online groups or forums.

 

[Lullaby]

Similar to others, I called once after having a really bad night and figured it would help to talk to someone instead of doing something impulsively.

Maybe 15 minutes later, and the police are knocking on my BEDROOM door. I literally don't even know how they got into my apartment. My mom was sleeping in the other room and had no idea they had even taken me out. It was pretty humiliating being rolled through the emergency entrance on a stretcher. Then they proceeded to lock me in a small room with another patient who wouldn't stop screaming and crying.

It was legit one of the worst nights ever. I'm sure it definitely helps others, especially those who just need to vent, but I'm never doing it again.

It was a really scary experience, which I honestly feel is done on purpose.

 

[CaramelDragon]

The "Hope Centre" repeatedly told me my feelings were "not normal". I requested for them to stop harassing me with calls to "help". I'd been referred after the cops took me to the ER twice in a week. I found it really easy to convince the psychiatrist that I wasn't suicidal, despite having pockets full of rocks. I said it was for exercise. They don't care they just want to say they tried. Nobody really cares about anyone else, at least that is what I believe. I've cared about one person my whole life (not me!)

 

[gogoprince]

Wow. Thanks for sharing, @gogoprince. If you're open to it, I'd love to hear more of your stories, including how the center operated and what training you received.

I've used the national lifeline (call), national lifeline online chat, and crisis text line. Thankfully I haven't had any truly awful experiences where authorities got involved, but I've never had great experiences either. Most were mediocre. I frequently felt like I was just another problem to be fixed, to be read a script to, just to have the conversation abruptly cut off after enough time elapsed, regardless of my needs. I generally felt unseen and invalidated. The standout winner was the time the operator sincerely suggested I try taking a hot bath instead of hanging myself. Wow! I'm cured, why did I never think of that! I was so thrown off that I pretended to agree with the operator just so I could get off the damn phone.

I don't have that many great stories to share. I did a little under half of my commitment of 200 hours, so I really didn't get to experience that much. There were a few times where people thought I was literally a robot, or reading from a script and either went on a tirade, or logged off suddenly: that was always stung a bit. There really isn't a "script" per se, as far as my experience with the CTL is concerned, but they do give you an outline of how the conversation "should" go and trying to stick to that outline can be difficult when people are all over the place emotionally. Usually the first part of the conversation is meant to build rapport, then you explore the problem that's been plaguing them, you find what they want to work on in this conversation, and then you try to steer the conversation to a close after they seem calmer. Honestly, it is good to have structure to a conversation of this nature imo because otherwise it can end up with the texter dwelling on their situation which might make them feel worse after.
The most rote aspect of the process is the risk assessment, which every conversation necessarily has (and your supervisor will remind you if you haven't performed it in a timely manner) where you ask a series of four questions: are you experiencing suicidal thoughts, do you have a plan for how you'd do it, do you have the means to execute that plan, and do you have a timeline for when you'll execute that plan. If its yes to all these questions, and the timeline is within 48 hours, the texter will either have to make a plan to make sure they stay safe, or we have the "obligation" to contact EMS. It's the biggest problem I have with the CTL and most suicide prevention/emotional support hotlines in general, because it a) isn't something people are necessarily aware of when they text in (there's a terms of agreement text that's like dozens of paragraphs long that you wouldn't bother to actually read in a real crisis), and b) if they are aware that's a possibility it then sacrifices the organization's own commitment to being "non-judgmental". Ultimately, I do think people have a right to end their life if they want to, and I think its unlikely people are going to feel less suicidal after an "Active Rescue" is performed.
All that said, its a great resource if you feel there's no one else to turn to: just be careful about what you share.