How has this group changed your life?

[Zeus35]

I came on the website extremely suicidal. I still am sometimes. I do however think that this website saved my life and made me have the support I wouldn't have otherwise got. Ie "rest and I hope your feeling better" ecetera. In September I'll be starting university. I think I'll always struggle with suicidal feelings but this group really has saved my life and been that shoulder to cry on in times of great distress. How has this group helped you? I'm atm looking forward to a happy future. I say atm as I can become suicidal quickly due to my PTSD. But I'm happy atm.

 

[GentleJerk]

I have suicide drugs now. That's probably the main thing. And I'm grateful for the time I've wasted here too. Fleeting moments of what could almost qualify as human interaction. I flung around some opinions and some jokes here and there, like so much monkey poo at the zoo.

I did think, maybe for a minute, that I was becoming part of some kind of community, like a memorable character and familiar presence, leaving some sort of impact, building... something.... idk. It was probably all a "like react" fueled illusion. But a couple of short hiatuses can really put things into perspective.

I'm just another transient, faceless, random member on a forum where if I suddenly disappear, or stop communicating, probably nothing will happen.

Within days or even hours It will be like I never existed, like those other past members I see with 2 year old posts that I don't even bother reading. Because that was then, and this is now. Is this now? I don't know. Aside from the suicide drugs I can hold in my hand, sometimes it feels like none of this ever really happened. I don't know. Who knows. Fuck knows. Maybe I'm a ghost.

 

[rationaltake]

I have suicide drugs now. That's probably the main thing. And I'm grateful for the time I've wasted here too. Fleeting moments of what could almost qualify as human interaction. I flung around some opinions and some jokes here and there, like so much monkey poo at the zoo.

I did think, maybe for a minute, that I was becoming part of some kind of community, like a memorable character and familiar presence, leaving some sort of impact, building... something.... idk. It was probably all a "like react" fueled illusion. But a couple of short hiatuses can really put things into perspective.

I'm just another transient, faceless, random member on a forum where if I suddenly disappear, or stop communicating, probably nothing will happen.

Within days or even hours It will be like I never existed, like those other past members I see with 2 year old posts that I don't even bother reading. Because that was then, and this is now. Is this now? I don't know. Aside from the suicide drugs I can hold in my hand, sometimes it feels like none of this ever really happened. I don't know. Who knows. Fuck knows. Maybe I'm a ghost.

There are members on here whose posts I'm always happy to see. And you're one of them.

The User Discussion thread shows that members are noticed - and missed.

 

[GentleJerk]

There are members on here whose posts I'm always happy to see. And you're one of them.

The User Discussion thread shows that members are noticed - and missed.

ditto @rationaltake

 

[FuneralCry]

It hasn't. It feels pointless for me as even with all the suicide information, dying is still difficult. I never feel any comfort or relief from being on here. The only thing that is comforting is the thought of permanent rest.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

Aside from all of the information and resources, this place has helped me realize I'm not alone in how I feel.
I know I'm alone in life, but knowing there are others out there who think and feel the way I do, at least in part, helps me feel not so desolate.
It has also helped me feel more comfortable with my decision.
I'd still do it with or without this site, but after reading others posts, stories, gives me comfort in knowing it is possible.
I don't know a single person on here, but I appreciate you all. Without even knowing, you've helped me tremendously.

 

[hellispink]

It helped because I can vent and because if the information I obtained. I also know what I am not alone the day I decide to leave this hell. In the bad side, however, I am saturated by the negative environment. I feel like it makes me drown more than when I wasn't here.

 

[Inkling]

It makes me a bit less lonely to know there are people that don't tackle the topics this forum discuss with the typical rhetoric the forum's topics are met with. The more openly honest nature of this community also gives some interesting insights.

It helped because I can vent and because if the information I obtained. I also know what I am not alone the day I decide to leave this hell. In the bad side, however, I am saturated by the negative environment. I feel like it makes me drown more than when I wasn't here.

As far as that last part goes, I usually take breaks from any place or community that's like SS, not necessarily because of the environment, but this very much has a "social battery" of its own, that requires charging as well.

 

[Job Joad]

This group hasn't "changed my life". But I do feel better knowing I'm not the only one hurting and that others feel the same way I do about the world and that I'm not the only that wants to CTB. I like that I can openly say that here without some ass-hats putting me in a hospital (locked jail) to help (punish) me.

 

[nys]

Apart from giving me some useful info about how to ctb, it's shown me that there are others who feel the same way about life as I do. It's made my last few months alive less painful and I don't feel like a freak for being suicidal. I've been lonely for a long time and like I've never fit in, but when I'm on here, I feel like I'm part of a community that truly understands me. When I ctb, I think I'll feel less alone because of this website.

 

[Someone123]

I have learned a method that I may use. In seeing how others have suffered so much as well, maybe I have forgiven myself a little for not being able to overcome so much abuse/ bullying- as much as I needed to to get my life to work.

 

[Leech]

SS has brought me comfort. It has shown me that I'm not alone in how I feel and that even though dying is unnecessarily difficult I am not alone in that struggle. I come here when I feel very low and sometimes, I feel like being able to read everyone's thoughts here quells me at times and is, ironically, part of the reason I haven't CTB yet. For better or for worse lol.

 

[CowsAreCool]

I don't want to come across as callous. I don't mean to be rude to anyone going through a tough time.

This website made me view suicide as kind of cringy. After reading so many posts full of self-pity and people making mountains out of molehills, it helped me actualize how I was feeling with what suicide actually is: a really stupid, drastic thing to do.

If I ever do go through with it, I won't be wallowing in pity feeling sorry for myself. That's no way to go out. A lot of this forum is just an echo chamber of woe is me. Which ironically moved me from the idea all together.

 

[Someone123]

I don't want to come across as callous. I don't mean to be rude to anyone going through a tough time.

This website made me view suicide as kind of cringy. After reading so many posts full of self-pity and people making mountains out of molehills, it helped me actualize how I was feeling with what suicide actually is: a really stupid, drastic thing to do.

If I ever do go through with it, I won't be wallowing in pity feeling sorry for myself. That's no way to go out. A lot of this forum is just an echo chamber of woe is me. Which ironically moved me from the idea all together.

I have to admit, though I think you tried, this post did come across as callous, rude, cringy, and insensitive- people are not making mountains out of molehills here, you're very much on the wrong track with this thinking- people are really suffering here, and these mountains are real mountains- some are volcanos even. WAllowing in self pity is also not here- people are suffering and they appreciate, someti9mes, when someone at lest understands their suffering. You post is a masterpiece of callousness, rudeness, cringy-ness, and insensitivity, despite a professed effort to avoid this.

 

[jodes2]

I came on the website extremely suicidal. I still am sometimes. I do however think that this website saved my life and made me have the support I wouldn't have otherwise got. Ie "rest and I hope your feeling better" ecetera. In September I'll be starting university. I think I'll always struggle with suicidal feelings but this group really has saved my life and been that shoulder to cry on in times of great distress. How has this group helped you? I'm atm looking forward to a happy future. I say atm as I can become suicidal quickly due to my PTSD. But I'm happy atm.

I love this place, it's the sole way I occupy my time at the moment, I have no interest in anything else whether I'm suicidal or not. It brings me happiness that even pushes away suicidal feelings which is tho unfortunate because it would be easier if I could just die, but I'm weak

 

[Dead Ghost]

It makes me feel bought and I like to enjoy the freedom I have to express how I feel without retaliation of any kind.. I understand retaliation as forced internments and such by the "professionals".

I don't need any of the suicide methods described, what I need is the warmth of the people here, it doesn't make me feel as alone as I did before I signed up.

SaSu hasn't changed me much, it's just made me know that there are more people like me and that sometimes I know how to help them overcome themselves because of things that I've already experienced. Many other times not.

I am very happy to be here and even if I don't know you, I appreciate and love you.
I only suffer when people say goodbye, I know that deep down SaSu is just a passing place for many of you and I find it hard to accept that many times the only solution to suffering is a dignified way out of a miserable life .

//

A mi em fa sentir comprés i m'agrada gaudir de la llibertat que tinc per expressar com em sento sense que hi hagi represàlies de cap tipus.. entenc les represàlies com a internaments forçats i aquest tipus de coses per part dels "professionals".

No necessito cap dels métodes de suïcidi que es descriuen, el que necessito és el caliu de la gent que hi ha aquí, no em fa sentir tant sol com abans de registrar-me.

SaSu no m'ha canviat gaire, només m'ha fet saber que hi ha més gent com jo i que de vegades se com ajudar-los a superar-se a si mateixos per coses que jo ja he viscut. Moltes altres vegades no.

Jo estic molt content de ser aquí i encara que no us conegui us tinc apreci i estima.
Només pateixo quan la gent s'acomiada, se que en el fons SaSu només és un lloc de pas per molts de vosaltres i em costa d'acceptar que moltes vegades l'única sol·lució al patiment sigui una sortida digna a un vida miserable.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

At one point it took the pressure off enough for me to stop being actively suicidal. Paradoxically, I discovered that if the push comes to shove I have means available and a more or less supporting community where I can ask for advice - and that allowed me to get out of "I am terrified of life, need to seek any method to try ASAP" mindset and into "CTB would still be an option tomorrow, let's try something else today" mindset. That might not be ideal, but for someone with so called "persistent ideation" this is about as good as it gets. That's my main argument for why physically keeping people from attaining means to end their life peacefully might only make them more frantic and impulsive, and more likely to resort to something gruesome instead - because that was me. Good enough effect, I think, and I think it makes sense. So many products use the scarcity principle for their advertisements "hurry! Only today! Limited offer! Only 50 left, use the exclusive promocode!" - because that's works with human psychology. If you publish an article about the shortage of toilet paper, sure enough you'll create a shortage of toilet paper where there wasn't one - because people will rush to every shop to grab a dozen rolls of TP, even though normally stocking up on toilet paper will never cross their minds because if you need it - it is readily available. So that's why making the means readily available might make one less frantic to use them immediately, I guess.
I was also able to speak to many different people and learn many new perspectives on life (and death). That's cool too.

 

[hamvil]

I love this place, it's the sole way I occupy my time at the moment, I have no interest in anything else whether I'm suicidal or not. It brings me happiness that even pushes away suicidal feelings which is tho unfortunate because it would be easier if I could just die, but I'm weak

Indeed, I find myself watching the forum. Seeing emoji feedback to things I post gives me some pleasure, at least it feels like somebody is caring for what I write. I check the posts in the various threads and I try to contribute a little bit. I honestly envy those that can write very long and articulated posts. I should aim at doing the same. I have just so much in my mind but I find it difficult to put it into words.

Oftern I read a very beautiful post and I think: ok, that is precisely what I wanted to say but I did not find the right words. I think this is because lately my memory is failing a lot. I forget where i put the phone, at the supermarker I often lose the cart. I started forgetting the names of people at the work and this makes it difficult to even write an email. I sort of feel I am getting dumber and dumber with time.

Most of all I am finding like minded people and no judgment (apart from the occasional AH).

 

[jodes2]

Indeed, I find myself watching the forum. Seeing emoji feedback to things I post gives me some pleasure, at least it feels like somebody is caring for what I write. I check the posts in the various threads and I try to contribute a little bit. I honestly envy those that can write very long and articulated posts. I should aim at doing the same. I have just so much in my mind but I find it difficult to put it into words.

Oftern I read a very beautiful post and I think: ok, that is precisely what I wanted to say but I did not find the right words. I think this is because lately my memory is failing a lot. I forget where i put the phone, at the supermarker I often lose the cart. I started forgetting the names of people at the work and this makes it difficult to even write an email. I sort of feel I am getting dumber and dumber with time.

Most of all I am finding like minded people and no judgment (apart from the occasional AH).

Same, I worry about how well I articulate, I'm just glad I'm tolerated here, the reactions do make me feel valued. My memory is useless af. What's AH?

 

[hamvil]

Same, I worry about how well I articulate, I'm just glad I'm tolerated here, the reactions do make me feel valued. My memory is useless af. What's AH?

AH=assholes

 

[InjuredBrainGamer]

I am glad I found this forum and I feel this is a safespace for people who want to discuss passing away in a peaceful manner.