Discussion How does everyone else self harm and why?

[TheTransientNight]

Personally, i pick a spot i can cover easily and use a new razor blade. I make the first swipe and then i put the blade in the center of the now open skin and cut deeper until im satisfied. Not sure if anyone else does this or if this is a strange method, its certainly agonizing but that isnt my main reason for doing so. I see it as a form of "retribution", for what is difficult to explain. It just feels necessary, and that drives me to push through the pain. What about yall? If you self harm, how do you do it and why?

 

[MaeMae]

I always walk around feeling like there's a knife in my chest, and one of the only ways I can remove that feeling is to use and actual knife or anything sharp to cut myself. I always cut on my thighs or ass because it's the easiest to hide, even during the summer months though I've been running out of space and have to cut above old scars or cuts. I also cut when things feel unreal, that my soul is drifting from the world. When organic things feels artificial and plastic-y it helps to see my blood run down my legs, and smearing it everywhere.

I've also been slightly overdosing my prescription medicine Oxybutinyn (for sweating) so that I always feel dizzy, fuzzy, and kind of high the first few hours of the day. Too dizzy to think and feel properly.

 

[AhmedAlRazek]

i back out a 4 inch blade and i pierce my forearms, i have a vein finder machine which allows me to avoid my veins
i like to drink my blood bla bla bla
i commence this ritual every 4 days

 

[CringeNihilism]

I draw a large amount of my blood till I feel anemic.

 

[jigsaw_falling]

i honestly just use random blades, mainly from razors or scalpels. i mainly cut on my thighs, and mainly focus on cutting deeper, and not on how many actual cuts i make. i never feel like i can cut deep enough though, i want to cut a lot deeper but i can't seem to:/
i do it for many reasons, but self hatred, and it being an addiction are big ones. what bothers me though is that self harm can feel relieving or satisfying which i don't want, i just want to be in more pain, because i believe i'm deserving of it

 

[themisbelow]

i self harm in emotional ways, whether it be sleeping with random people, lobotomizing myself by forcing myself to listen to music that makes me uncomfortable, or re traumatizing myself by exposing myself to things i know are deeply upsetting. it's a kinda weird way to self harm but when i physically self-harmed as a child, it very quickly got increasingly violent and i don't want to out myself to those around me.

 

[TheTransientNight]

i self harm in emotional ways, whether it be sleeping with random people, lobotomizing myself by forcing myself to listen to music that makes me uncomfortable, or re traumatizing myself by exposing myself to things i know are deeply upsetting. it's a kinda weird way to self harm but when i physically self-harmed as a child, it very quickly got increasingly violent and i don't want to out myself to those around me.

I rarely hear people talk about self harm in the more unconventional ways like this, doesnt make it any less valid though. Thank you for responding and if youd like someone to talk to, lmk and ill do my best to be there. We might not all be in the same boats, but this ocean is still ours. No matter how deep it goes.

i honestly just use random blades, mainly from razors or scalpels. i mainly cut on my thighs, and mainly focus on cutting deeper, and not on how many actual cuts i make. i never feel like i can cut deep enough though, i want to cut a lot deeper but i can't seem to:/
i do it for many reasons, but self hatred, and it being an addiction are big ones. what bothers me though is that self harm can feel relieving or satisfying which i don't want, i just want to be in more pain, because i believe i'm deserving of it

Im actually glad you cant cut any deeper, its a painful agonizing machine to labor at. Blood for happiness, or atleast what feels like happiness. If you dont mind me asking, why do you deserve it?

 

[Octavia]

TENS unit on the highest setting that I can endure, typically on the abdomen. Fairly painful and leaves minimal damage, if any.

 

[AVeryLazySloth]

First I used to injest a different cocktail of meds to damage my insides, when that went too far and I got into a coma I resorted to cutting myself. Now my left arm is riddled with one big and a few smaller scars that my current method is smacking my right arm with a hammer till it hurts. It's a method that doesn't really leave a trace behind and when I need more pain I just push on the bruise.

 

[TheTransientNight]

i back out a 4 inch blade and i pierce my forearms, i have a vein finder machine which allows me to avoid my veins
i like to drink my blood bla bla bla
i commence this ritual every 4 days

its actually pretty smart to avoid veins, but what is the ritual for? What drives you?

 

[flower1985]

Self harm pics warning!!!!

New Stanley knife blades are what i use easy to hide and draws a lot of blood, its a release for me and a alternative to ctb if pictures speak a thousand words these were took earlier ......

 

[Octavia]

Self harm pics warning!!!!

New Stanley knife blades are what i use easy to hide and draws a lot of blood, its a release for me and a alternative to ctb if pictures speak a thousand these were took earlier words......



Self harm pics warning

I feel like spoilers could have been used for these images. Tap the 3 dots option in editing mode and you should see the icon of a crossed out eye, that usually is for putting things under spoilers or blurring them until tapped.

 

[snailboy]

I use whatever I can get tbh but my favorite is double sided shaving razor blades

 

[TheTransientNight]

I use whatever I can get tbh but my favorite is double sided shaving razor blades

The thin ones? Those work really well and are easy to hide too. Plus they are cheap and relatively easy to aquire if you've got a bloodlust.

Self harm pics warning!!!!

New Stanley knife blades are what i use easy to hide and draws a lot of blood, its a release for me and a alternative to ctb if pictures speak a thousand these were took earlier words......



Self harm pics warning

Thats a decent bit of blood, i bet that feels amazing running down your arm. Thats always my favorite part, the throbbing in my arm as if its alive and the hot rush of it all. Please do take care of the wounds though, wouldnt want it getting infected <3

 

[Veraz]

I get stuck in these sort of negative mental feedback loops. Basically my inner voice just harasses me and picks apart everything I do, say, or even think. It gets to a boiling point after several hours of that, and I end up stabbing the hell out of an old reclining chair I have in my room. This only happens on my REALLY bad days though, so it's not super often. Hasn't progressed into real self-harm yet, but I reckon it's only a matter of time. I've put the blade against my neck and chest a few times, but never actually gone through with it yet (obviously).

 

[AnonymousRobin]

ive tried razor blades which never cut deep enough but i drink and go out late at night to hurt myself hoping someone might stab me. i starve myself a lot and over exercise so i can hurt myself

 

[bunnii]

I've been a cutter for about six years now, mostly a styro cutter. I prefer to use razor blades if I can but I'll use pretty much anything I can get my hands on. I dont really remember why I do it anymore; it's mostly out of habit. Feeling sad? Cut. Bored? Cut. Angry? Cut. Too sober? Cut. Completed a task? You get the picture. Slowly moving onto a tattoo/piercing addiction though, I love the way it feels the same as carving into your skin AND it looks even prettier than scars!

 

[didn't-it-rain]

head bashing, against walls, etc. - i don't recommend it, i feel like i've probably gotten a bit dumber tbh. been doing it a few times a week going on five years now.

 

[dweams]

Usually just a #10 scalpel on the more "meaty" side of my forearm.

Not sure why I do it tbh. I guess I'm maybe hoping that I mess up one day and accidentally cut into an artery and bleed out or something.

Can't really ctb at the moment. So, this is the closest I can get.

I also like the feeling of my blood running down my arm. It feels kinda comforting. If that makes sense.

 

[hellgirlredux]

Mine is usually hitting my head really hard, I did this every day for quite a while. I sometimes do it because I feel that I deserve to suffer, other times I'm trying to force myself to believe or want what other people do. My whole life I have never wanted to recover, but all I ever hear is that not recovering makes me some kind of threat to my family/society, so I keep trying to force myself to want to recover.

 

[IJustWantToTalk]

I burn myself. Sometimes I let a match burn down in my fingers, sometimes I touch melted candle wax. Really whatever I can to feel pain but that won't leave lasting marks. I concentrate it to one small area so that it will burn, and if it blisters, that just means I get a blister. Doesn't draw questions like scars would (I assume since I have non self harm scars and people ask me about them), and it works well enough for me. People just assume I'm clumsy.

 

[Crasher]

I relapsed today after 2 years cut free. Shallow cuts to the thighs this time but as I held the razor I was reminded by how bad it could get if not careful. It didn't bring me the feeling I remember and I was just left with the same emptiness before. It used to give me a feeling of control and a psudo-high. At least it still eats some time. I know its stupid to try again, but I'm definitely considering going down the self harm rabbit hole again.

 

[gogurtlord]

Personally, i pick a spot i can cover easily and use a new razor blade. I make the first swipe and then i put the blade in the center of the now open skin and cut deeper until im satisfied. Not sure if anyone else does this or if this is a strange method, its certainly agonizing but that isnt my main reason for doing so. I see it as a form of "retribution", for what is difficult to explain. It just feels necessary, and that drives me to push through the pain. What about yall? If you self harm, how do you do it and why?

i usually just do it until i bleed enough. either that or until it covers up the whole area with cuts. for some reason im more fascinated with the blood than anything else.

 

[Bluebunnysky]

I've just been drinking heavily and binge eating to make myself feel like shit to self-punish for my bad life choices

 

[Ghoste]

I, like a lot of people on this thread, use razor blades. I always make sure to cut in places that no-one has any buisness looking, like thighs or chest so no one notices.

 

[sick.faery]

i dont sh very often but when i do i usually use razor blades and will either cut just a little bit and more shallowly until the endorphins can do their work :) or will cut a lot and try to go deeper so i can really have the feeling that i'm hurting myself. usually do it on my upper thighs and arms

 

[suicidalenby]

i used to cut very often, i was addicted. i would cut myself to beans frequently, although when my mom found out she always flipped her shit and that made the whole experience less enjoyable. i would use about anything i could get my hands on, even if the only thing i could get was a kitchen knife. the blood is always so pretty and satisfying. now, though, so people don't stop me (because how would they?) i punch myself a bunch of times. I like punching my thighs best, but my head is a good spot too. i usually punch myself when i'm feeling some super strong emotion, usually anger or sadness. i miss cutting, honestly.

 

[level_playing_field]

I personally use the razor from a disposable razor on my thighs and I also bruise my arms up by slamming them into things, usually the corners of furniture. I like doing this repeatedly until my arm goes numb and tingly. It leaves large bruises and I enjoy that pain. I harm myself because I suffer from PTSD and during flashbacks I feel the pain from my SA. Harming myself allows me to focus on the pain I'm causing rather than the pain that was caused by someone else. I do it because I will always have the desperate desire for control over my own body and it's a good distraction.

 

[euphoric]

i cut my thighs with a double sided razor blade !! i used to do it on my arm and i still have very obvious scars there but i was clean for a while last summer and it has really set me back to square one i'm starting from scratch (lol) i find it really scary and hard to cut on there nowadays so thighs it is :) right thigh to be exact … the difference between the two of them is kinda funny. i relapsed on saturday and have been removing (and eating … ???) my scabs … i should leave my poor cuts alone and let them heal hehe I'M GONNA GET SUCH PRETTY SCARS <3333 also i guess i sh in other ways but like not physically … i just sabotage myself lol but who cares i'm obviously gonna ctb this year so i don't care that i'm fucking everything up and not taking care of myself at all … YOLO or something … whatever the kids say nowadays (i'm 20 girl shut the fuck up)

 

[TempLoveSlvt]

I've got a pretty unique method. You know those cans of compressed air(It stores gas in liquid form, which usually means low temperatures, −117 °C to -25 °C for what I use)? What I usually do is I flip it upside down so that the liquid at the bottom of the can comes out to cold burn myself with. Sometimes I also cut on top of the section of skin I decided to freeze to go deeper, or just simply for it's own sake(It reminds me of strawberry ice cream). Usually 5 seconds or less gets the cold burn equivalent to 2nd degree burns, but more than that its usually 3rd or a really bad 2nd degree. The wound tend to be kinda annoying to deal with because it takes more than a month usually before it does not need to be covered, and the scars are kinda dull but over all not my favorite for its aesthetics.

Sometimes I also take Benadryl in high doses to self harm cause it's also kinda fun. Though, I would definitely rate it being more dangerous than most other self harm methods.