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bloomingdark

bloomingdark

Alex
Jan 24, 2019
170
As someone who has anxiety and depression I often feel like it is just too much for what I can handle, I feel tired, drowsy, silly, and if we talk about my heart constantly racing and being out of breath , we do everything worst....
 
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ecmnesia

ecmnesia

the only thing humans are equal in is death
Aug 30, 2020
766
too depressed to live, too anxious to try cbt.
 
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Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,627
One of the reasons why I want to CTB is because I'm not happy with myself. I struggle with low self esteem as a result of depression and anxiety. I feel like if I wasn't depressed or anxious, I'd be able to accept who I am as a person and maybe I'd be able to find a way to love myself.
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,359
I'm anxious over most things, my nerves are frayed and just something simple can set my anxiety off. It's strange becuase before I was always level headed and handled stressful situations well, but recently the thought of doing anything, going out, just terrifies me. I push myself to do it but the second something goes wrong I run and hide. Anxiety isn't a main factor for my ctb, but it's a contributing one. If I didn't have it I'd still have BPD and Bipolar so I'd still want to ctb.
 
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shy

shy

Student
Aug 23, 2020
122
Anxiety makes life unnecessarily difficult, small everyday things become giant hurdles and it turns supposedly fun social activities into nightmares.

Lots of things I wanted to try, but ultimately didn't because I have a completely irrational fear of everything. At this point I'm not even sure if I'm depressed because I'm anxious or if I'm anxious because I'm depressed. So, I'm also not sure if curing my anxiety would also cure my suicidal thoughts.

Life would be more enjoyable if I wasn't anxious all the time though.
 
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DeathNoot

DeathNoot

Student
Feb 19, 2020
137
I wouldn't ctb at all if I didn't have it
 
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M

Mischievous

Member
Sep 10, 2020
14
Without anxiety I'd be able to at least go out, work, form normal healthy relationships, get an education, and be appreciative of my surroundings instead of trying to get home as fast as I possibly can. I know I'd have to contend with my depression but a good chunk of why I'm depressed is caused by my anxious behaviour. Anxiety sucks.
 
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OrdinaryDay

OrdinaryDay

Hollow
Dec 6, 2019
153
If I was not what I am now - I'm sure I would have loved life
 
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D

Deleted member 20852

Guest
Anxiety has ruined my life completely and makes every day a misery. I don't stand a chance because of it. Tasks that simple to other people are like climbing a mountain for me especially if it involves anything social. I don't know if I would still want to ctb if I didn't have it, probably would. TBH I couldn't imagine life without it I've had an anxiety disorder since I was a really small child it's always been there.
 
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2

224

Member
Oct 14, 2020
31
I am depressed bc I am so exhausted from my mind always racing. I just want it to stop. The thought of being at peace and dead is so comforting. I do not want to think anymore. I almost want to be brain dead and just gone. The anxiety is too much and I have to no will to try to fix i bc I know I can't. People say that they ctb bc they lost their battle to depression, but I am really losing my battle to anxiety.
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
It's definitely a top reason why I want to ctb. I don't lead a sustainable life. If I could have a normal brain with no anxiety it would change a lot. Undecided on whether it would stop me from ctb but it's definitely more likely I would because anxiety robs me from any life enjoyment. I have agoraphobia and panic going out. I never go in stores, restaurants or anywhere because my anxiety is too severe. It probably has a lot to do with my cptsd and the abuse I endured too.
 
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T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,151
It destroyed me. Well in a way so called professionals destroyed me by not giving me beta blockers or benzodiazepnes.
 
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T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,151
Neither of those things are cures, the only way out is dr claire weekes method.
People who attest one person is the only cure are extremely weak minded and damage other people.

If my post isn't clear then what I'm saying is betablockers helped me so much reducing panic attacks I could manage the panic by sitting and breathing and it was 3 years before they put me on it... Then I managed to self medicate with benzos after 4 years which meant I could actually leave the house and communicate with people. Christ I couldn't even talk to family without being a jumittery mess. Medication is a lifeline for some of us. I had 7 years of therapy some helpful but I coukdnt even talk to the therapists without my meds.
You are an imposing person who needs to learn empathy and respect. People of your demeanor cause people mental health issues with your false statements, the last thing people need around them is patronising people. I hope you learn to be a better person as I'm trying. Best wishes.
 
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Desdemona

Desdemona

Member
Oct 14, 2020
88
100% would change things. I have multiple chronic health conditions but I suffered with anxiety and mild depression before too. Basically I tend to look at things as "cup half empty", instead of "cup half full". Probably due to life circumstances and just that I've never gotten lucky with anything which has developed my way of thinking.

I'm sure life is like this for many other too but I've noticed with a lot of people I know there often is an element of luck that doesn't seem to exist for me.

With this, life just feels super pointless and also sort of terrifying. Even if things improved for me I can't shake the feeling of something even more terrible happening to me at any given moment.
I also feel like I "think" about life too much to the point where it feels very pointless. It's basically struggling until you get old and develop even more health problems and then you die

I think if I was more simple minded things would be significantly better. I feel like I'm just not cut out to be happy
 
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T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,151
These people who come and be patronising for patronising sake just to promote one doctors treatment sales I don't know how they do it.

 
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T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,151
This is part of why you never get anywhere, obsessed with TONE and just calling things what you like for your own sake, no no one is patronizing and if you don't know who claire weekes is and why shes so fucking important in anxiety treatment then i can't help your astounding ignorance, a doctor BTW who firstly is deceased so makes nothing and secondly let people during her life go and live with her for FREE until the got better so that's 2 doses of wrong you've taken.
She sounds like a good person then. As are a lot of people both dead and alive.
There are healers who fit certain individuals. One person can't be a cure for everyone, a large number millions, maybe a billion. But we all concur with advice from different people.
 
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XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
Cry as much as you want but her method is the only one out there proven to work in cure to a level that you dont need medication, backed up entirely by joseph ledouxs work and now jim folks, you need to learn acceptance, you are full of excuses and desires for blame and crutch none of which will help you in any real recovery so no you don't get to be a professional victim with me. I hope you learn true acceptance and you recognize and run with legitimate help when it surfaces even if you don't like the sound of it. Sign yourself up to anxietycentre.com and get the best help.

You seem to know the exact path to recovery. I can't help but wonder why you are on a suicide forum and not out there living your best life...
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
At my worst I spent all day pacing. I never stopped and couldn't even sit down. My feet ached so much. I lay in bed but couldn't stay still. I didn't sleep for more than an hour for six months straight. I didn't even realise that was possible. I scratched my head all the time until it bled and I still continued scratching it. I twitched and cringed and fell to the floor in shock at load noises. I hid in corners. I could barely speak.
I'm not proud of any of that.
I share it because I have accepted that I was like that and the reasons why.
No, I'm no longer actively suicidal, though many of the reasons that brought me here remain.
 
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Cherrypea

Cherrypea

I remember when all this will be again
May 3, 2020
414
Loads of reasons but this week it has made me overthink something completely, try to find the best options for everyone and then complicate things for myself and other people by trying to put said options in place only to go round in a circle and ending up exactly where I started. I hate it so much.
 
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Disappointered

Disappointered

Enlightened
Sep 21, 2020
1,279
If I had been properly treated for anxiety early on I'd have had a totally different and much better life. I wouldn't be considering suicide. But now...it's just too late.
 
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BoredomSeeker

BoredomSeeker

"A black light bulb. The repression of an idea."
May 25, 2023
101
As of right now, anxiety is my primary reason to CTB. If I didn't have it, I would most likely not have made the decision to, or even consider, catching the bus.
 
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