Discussion How do you overcome the fear of "nothingness" when we die?

[ztupidity]

Hello guys

This is my first thread in this forum. FYI English is not my primary language but I will try my best to avoid misunderstanding in my writing.

I would like to discuss with you all how to overcome the fear of "feeling nothingness" when we die. Of course I cannot discuss this matter with someone who believe in a life after death in any kind shape or form.

If you think my fear is irrational and ridiculous, well what can I say? I know it looks ridiculous, but somehow I just don't know how to overcome this fear. That's why I need your insight on this matter.

I was born from Muslim parents, so I was taught that there is life after death since I was a kid. Life after death in Islamic teaching is similar with Christianity's or Judaism's. In my adult life, I became a skeptical and critically thinking person. So I don't believe in life after death anymore, I don't believe in existence of a soul in human body, I have accepted what scientist has concluded that human consciousness is an output from physical activities in brain. Therefore I shouldn't have worried about my soul will be getting roasted in hell for eternity anymore if I ctb, right?

But somehow it turns out that thinking and imagine what it feels like to live in nothingness is unimaginable for me and it scares me a lot. I know that as human, we all have "experienced" nothingness before we were born. Does it feel painful? Or scary? No, It doesn't. We haven't existed yet, our brains haven't formed yet to be able to experience reality. BUT knowing that the age of the universe is estimated 13,700,000,000 years and for that loooong time I could feel nothing except for the last 37 years (I am 40 years old now and assuming that I began aware of reality or able to memorize for the first time since I was 3 years old). 13.7 billion years is unimaginable long time for reality to exist from the beginning until now and I only able to experience it just for a super tiny little time of it. But I felt like I've been living for very long time, I am 40 years old now.

I mean... I kinda think that "living in nothingness" is useless. Being ceased is useless because let's say, human kind in next 100,000 years have invented technology to resurrect the dead. If I ctb tonight and people in the future decide to resurrect me, then I would feel like I just lost consciousness for 1 second and awake back to life. For that such long time like 100,000 years and I feel like just pass it in only 1 second, I feel like death is useless. And that's what scares me a lot to ctb.

What is your take on this irrational fear of mine, guys? I hope my writing is clear enough for you all :)

 

[lllll]

When nothingness is better than the pain of living

 

[Empty Smile]

Here's how I've come to terms with nothingness after death....

Do you remember long ago, back before you were concieved?

No?

Nothing?

It's the same. You were nothing before you were born, and you'll be nothing after your gone.

By the way, welcome to the board!

 

[ztupidity]

You were nothing before you were born, and you'll be nothing after your gone.

And that's what I'm afraid of.... I can't feel that "nothing". So let's say if I've been dead for 10,000,000 years and the living things in that time able to resurrect me, I'm so afraid to pass that 10,000,000 years just for 1 or 2 seconds.

Man, I know this is irrational but it bothers me a lot

 

[Empty Smile]

And that's what I'm afraid of.... I can't feel that "nothing". So let's say if I've been dead for 10,000,000 years and the living things in that time able to resurrect me, I'm so afraid to pass that 10,000,000 years just for 1 or 2 seconds.

Man, I know this is irrational but it bothers me a lot

I don't know how long it takes for a body to completely decompose, but by 10,000,000 years, there would be nothing left of you.

So unless they have some DNA of you stored somewhere, you being resurrected is highly negative.

 

[NOT]

While you are dead you dont notice that anything is wrong. Its only when you are alive you start contemplating death. Totally unecessary viewpoint in my opinion. Also not worth the pain.
Death being so hard to achieve doesnt make life precious, it makes humans delusional.

 

[dandan]

practice makes perfect

practice practice practice

you can not know in advance what will happen, you have to experience it

 

[Weems]

Fear of death is a biggie, but you have to remember it's gonna happen anyway. It's all about the intervening time and whether that looks to be worthwhile.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

@ztupidity Very good thread and there wasn´t any problem with your english as far as I could tell. The thing you talk about it similar to the video of Alan Watts where he talks about that being dead will be the same as before we were born I will link it below in a spoiler so not to draw focus away from this amazing writings but he says basically the same you just say it slightly different and that is why I will save this thread to read later because it´s comforting.

Spoiler: Alan Watts thought on death

 

[Redrock]

 

[marcusuk63]

IN 130 years every body alive today will be dead , there is no escape it is a natural process of "living" .So whatever happens ,if anything after death is goin to happen anyway no matter how long you live .

 

[intheweeds]

I'm not religious but I would say I'm somewhat spiritual. I personally like to think that life is a process, you're born, live, and die. Just like everything else in nature.

I'm also not fully convinced nothing happens afterwards, but I wouldn't trust anyone who claims to know. The truth is no one knows.

 

[Alchemist]

I don't fear nothingness, I've already been there before being born. I just fear the transition.

 

[NemoZeno]

Being ceased is useless because let's say, human kind in next 100,000 years have invented technology to resurrect the dead. If I ctb tonight and people in the future decide to resurrect me, then I would feel like I just lost consciousness for 1 second and awake back to life. For that such long time like 100,000 years and I feel like just pass it in only 1 second, I feel like death is useless. And that's what scares me a lot to ctb.

That's why you cover your bases and die in the woods/where ever you can hide your body.


As for your fear, it's natural. We are all born with an unshakable instinct to fear...whatever.
Among the only things you can do is to condition yourself to soften the impact of your fear. It is virtually impossible to extinguish completely.

Practicing meditation helped be more apathetic towards fear of nothingness.
Not all but when meditating, many are in that weird, slightly inexplicable state of having a mostly "empty" mind yet still barely conscious to sit up straight and just "be" in the moment without conscious thoughts.

Whether I'm lying to myself or not: I imagine that is what nothingness is sort of "like". You then work your way up by wholly embracing that notion and practicing meditation more. Rinse repeat and you're practically apathetic to that fear (still probably pops up occasionally but no longer anxiety inducing).

 

[petevale]

I try and shut it out

 

[Soul]

Hello Ztu. Cool thread! I know we (as we are now) aren't equipped to experience nothingness, or even to imagine it adequately. Does it help at all to realise that your current concept of "experiencing nothingness" isn't what it's genuinely like?

I'm curious, whether or not some kind of I will be able to have an "aha, so that's what it is".

Eh - better listen to Alan Watts. 8]

 

[Rollo]

Well there's a good reason you can't imagine nothingness, and anyone is yet to experience it - before being born or at any other imaginary point in time. What exactly do you fear though? First you say nothingness, then you say being brought back to life.

 

[sunny.sativa]

Your English is great, by the way! I'm a super white American, I don't even use it as well as you do, haha.

Anyways. Didn't you answer your own question? You fear nothingness, right? But you said nothingness is... well, nothing. You don't feel it or see it, you can't smell it coming. There's just nothing. You no longer exist, so your fear of it is gone as well. If you believe the only conscious we have is in the brain, and not the soul, your fears and curiosities would die along with your body.


Is it nothingness you fear, or the fact that there may just be something? Because, in my humble opinion, nothingness isn't scary at all because there's not a physical thing to fear. Not even a hypothetical thing to fear. What would scare me, in your shoes, is the fact that I grew up believing there's most definitely something after human life. If I grew up being told I'd rot in hell for taking my own life, it's not nothingness I'd fear, in fact, I'd HOPE for it, rather than the former.

I suppose this is a chance you'd have to take. If this life is absolute shit, and not worth living at all, and you'd trade either nothingness or whatever else could happen, I guess it doesn't matter which because as long as THIS human life is over, whatever happens is a new start for you.
I don't know if that makes sense to other people besides myself, sorry for the jumbled thoughts.

 

[headinghome]

Hello guys

This is my first thread in this forum. FYI English is not my primary language but I will try my best to avoid misunderstanding in my writing.

I would like to discuss with you all how to overcome the fear of "feeling nothingness" when we die. Of course I cannot discuss this matter with someone who believe in a life after death in any kind shape or form.

If you think my fear is irrational and ridiculous, well what can I say? I know it looks ridiculous, but somehow I just don't know how to overcome this fear. That's why I need your insight on this matter.

I was born from Muslim parents, so I was taught that there is life after death since I was a kid. Life after death in Islamic teaching is similar with Christianity's or Judaism's. In my adult life, I became a skeptical and critically thinking person. So I don't believe in life after death anymore, I don't believe in existence of a soul in human body, I have accepted what scientist has concluded that human consciousness is an output from physical activities in brain. Therefore I shouldn't have worried about my soul will be getting roasted in hell for eternity anymore if I ctb, right?

But somehow it turns out that thinking and imagine what it feels like to live in nothingness is unimaginable for me and it scares me a lot. I know that as human, we all have "experienced" nothingness before we were born. Does it feel painful? Or scary? No, It doesn't. We haven't existed yet, our brains haven't formed yet to be able to experience reality. BUT knowing that the age of the universe is estimated 13,700,000,000 years and for that loooong time I could feel nothing except for the last 37 years (I am 40 years old now and assuming that I began aware of reality or able to memorize for the first time since I was 3 years old). 13.7 billion years is unimaginable long time for reality to exist from the beginning until now and I only able to experience it just for a super tiny little time of it. But I felt like I've been living for very long time, I am 40 years old now.

I mean... I kinda think that "living in nothingness" is useless. Being ceased is useless because let's say, human kind in next 100,000 years have invented technology to resurrect the dead. If I ctb tonight and people in the future decide to resurrect me, then I would feel like I just lost consciousness for 1 second and awake back to life. For that such long time like 100,000 years and I feel like just pass it in only 1 second, I feel like death is useless. And that's what scares me a lot to ctb.

What is your take on this irrational fear of mine, guys? I hope my writing is clear enough for you all :)

somehow if you are worried about nothingness you must not be suffering enough to take your life...
just a philosophical observation

 

[Asacschrader33]

Nothingness is better than my current situation.

 

[sunny.sativa]

somehow if you are worried about nothingness you must not be suffering enough to take your life...
just a philosophical observation

This is the most ignorant, useless comment I've ever seen on this website. You don't know what this individual is going through, yet you assume they're not "suffering enough" to be suicidal.
I understand you're in pain, obviously, if I'm encountering you on this website, but that doesn't mean you need to bring others down with you. Mind your own business, if youre not going to offer anything worthwhile.

Just a philosophical observation.

 

[NemoZeno]

You don't know what this individual is going through, yet you assume they're not "suffering enough" to be suicidal.

A mix of gatekeeping and grasping at straws like the 3 friends of Job.

For those who don't know/do but need a refresher, Job was blameless and upright according to god but god allowed the devil to bring misfortune (short of allowing Job to die) upon his most faithful servant.
Family died, had physical pain spontaneously manifest (boils), and lost pretty much everything of value.
Three of his friends ( Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathit) came to console him. At first it was to weep with him but ultimately they fixated on insisting that the reason he is suffering is his fault and he must repent to God. There can be no other explanation in their eyes.

Turns out these 3 were wrong and god rebuked these 3.

So, for headinghome to assume OP is "not suffering enough" is mostly analogous with Job's 3 friends in my view (sans the sympathy that headinghome didn't provide).

 

[Mort]

Wow interesting well death is the ultimate jerny to were we dont know. They could be nothinges or a different way of living with out your body. You find out when you cross over i am not religious or any thing but the energy that powers us in life must go sum were after death. Well thats my little theory i so know energy can be destroyed it just moves from one state to another state . Like a light bulb power goes in and it turns to light and heat. The heat fades but the light keeps going on all most for ever as it leaves the room its in then it goes out side then up into space the it goes a cross ower milky way to another it just keeps going. I know sound a bit odd but its the best way of me explaining it :) well let you guys think on that one HEHE :D

 

[Soul]

This thread is starting to remind me of something I heard once ... What was it again? Something like:

To be or not to be - that is the question.Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles and, by opposing, end them? To die, to sleep, no more - and by a sleep to say we end the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that the flesh is heir to. Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished: to die. To sleep. To sleep ... perchance to dream

except that dude was worried about experiencing lord-knows-what and our OP is concerned about the prospect of nothing. The Big Blank. It puzzles the will, all right.

But I'm hugely curious anyway.

 

[Mart]

It's not irrational. Almost everyone fears death and what happens one way or another. I mean that's why religions were started in the first place. You go back to Egyptians and they kept changing which God they worshipped because all they cared about was worshipping the god that decides what happens after you die. They wanted an afterlife.

I guess I'm not just super afraid of nothing, because nothing can't hurt, it can't annoy, it can't bother, it can't scare, at least not when you are nothing. Nothing isn't an experience because it can't be experienced, it just is. Something is what I'm afraid of. I don't know what something is, but even though I can't experience nothing, I at least know what I'd have in store, which is nothing.

 

[Painpleasure]

It's not irrational. Almost everyone fears death and what happens one way or another. I mean that's why religions were started in the first place. You go back to Egyptians and they kept changing which God they worshipped because all they cared about was worshipping the god that decides what happens after you die. They wanted an afterlife.

I guess I'm not just super afraid of nothing, because nothing can't hurt, it can't annoy, it can't bother, it can't scare, at least not when you are nothing. Nothing isn't an experience because it can't be experienced, it just is. Something is what I'm afraid of. I don't know what something is, but even though I can't experience nothing, I at least know what I'd have in store, which is nothing.

100% agree with this. Couldn't have said it better. Perhaps the only thing left to fear is the process of dying and the "transition" to the next phase.

 

[ztupidity]

Thank you @Zekajlo @Soul @sunny.sativa and @Mart . Your insights are quite relieving for me, especially from @sunny.sativa . I think I realize now that my fear of nothingness is just an expression of me being worried that death doesn't even bring me to a better state than my current situation. I think I'm not afraid of the process of dying, I'm afraid that my death become useless for me.

It's like... I wanna be dead for 100 trillion years or doesn't matter how long it is. I want to pass that years without being alive. Somehow I'm afraid that 100 trillion years just go by like that without me realizing it. I know this is irrational from the first place or maybe this is just my survival instinct.

somehow if you are worried about nothingness you must not be suffering enough to take your life...
just a philosophical observation

I'm suffering a severe anxiety at the moment. I won't go into the details, but the point is I took wrong decision, I failed, and I'm still covering it from my family and surroundings. If you think that ctb is too much for my current situation, as many people would say I'm just being dramatic to take permanent solution for a temporary problem, this "wrong decision" I did is for the umpteenth time. I'm tired and give up with myself. Still fighting for last solution till the end of this month though

 

[Soul]

... If a little sprout of a consciousness that could be called "some form of you" somehow emerged after 100 trillion years, even if it could recollect nothing of the 100- trillion-year-long Big Blank, it would still be a product of 100 trillion years of empty nothingness. Like your body feels all the benefits of a long luxurious peaceful sleep, even if you don't remember sleeping it.

Sorry - I had a glimmer of an idea there but it keeps slipping out of reach. Good thread!

 

[sunny.sativa]

"Still fighting for last solution till the end of this month though" @ztupidity

I believe in you. Whatever your decision be, I support you and I think you're awesome for how long and hard you've fought. I personally believe that you can make the most of this life, for however long you let it continue, because you really seem to have at least a TINY bit of hope. That's all you need!

Do something for yourself today. I know it'll be hard. Even if it's just hydrating your body.

It's not irrational. Almost everyone fears death and what happens one way or another. I mean that's why religions were started in the first place. You go back to Egyptians and they kept changing which God they worshipped because all they cared about was worshipping the god that decides what happens after you die. They wanted an afterlife.

I guess I'm not just super afraid of nothing, because nothing can't hurt, it can't annoy, it can't bother, it can't scare, at least not when you are nothing. Nothing isn't an experience because it can't be experienced, it just is. Something is what I'm afraid of. I don't know what something is, but even though I can't experience nothing, I at least know what I'd have in store, which is nothing.

^beautifully worded! I tried to say this kinda thing but mine didn't make sense lmao well done!

 

[AlePizarnik]

I fear the opposite. I fear there is something. Anything. It scares me. There being nothing is the best case scenario