I explain all of my pain in my ctb letter.
There will be hurt people. Cant avoid that.
All you do is attempt to mitigate their longterm sadness with a well written note.
There will be hurt people. Cant avoid that.
All you do is attempt to mitigate their longterm sadness with a well written note.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
I agree with writing a letter so they have something to hold onto.
However, when it's time, thinking how your parents will feel won't matter.
However, when it's time, thinking how your parents will feel won't matter.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,819
I am going to write a note when I eventually go through with CTB. Was close a few times in 2019, but just hung on enough to live into 2020. As far as overcoming the feeling, I suppose the best I can do is tell myself, I was born without my consent and without choice. I don't hate anyone in particular, I just want to end my own suffering and not deal with shit anymore. I don't owe anything to anyone, despite what society, peers, friends, family may say.
Sensei
剣道家
- Nov 4, 2019
- 6,336
I'm not sure I ever will be able to overcome that completely. The only way for me to bypass that is to make it look like an accident or a natural death. It will perhaps not alleviate their grief, but most probably their guilt and the social stigma.
Marctic
Student
- Oct 18, 2019
- 109
MysticPerception
I'm back and I'll still smile for you
- Dec 31, 2019
- 1,252
I don't intend to overcome it just deal with it instead. I have a note and my mother is still going to probably fall apart after she finds me. I'm going to have that thought haunting me right up until I pass out. But that's alright, she already told me years ago if I want to commit suicide to wait until after she's dead. Sadly I can't wait that long nor would I want to watch her pass anyway.
Time
Looking to leave.
- Nov 10, 2019
- 264
After a lot of contemplating, I believe that there would be some benefits to my premature death. There will definitely be some pain & that's been hard for me to come to terms with but it won't be without some silver linings.
SinisterKid
Visionary
- Jun 1, 2019
- 2,113
Parents are no longer in my life and I have 1 remaining friend. His life will go on. My partner, son and granddaughter, that is a different matter and I am trying to stay alive for them, but sometimes, that is barely reason enough to keep going. I know when I hit the depths, its tunnel vision, I want a end to the suffering, that is all I can see, but in many ways, its just a transference of that suffering from me to them, so I try and climb the hell out of there. If the time comes where I dont get out, I have what I need.
JustAnotherSuicider
Hoping for the best - expecting the worst
- Dec 28, 2019
- 98
I just don't care anymore, my pain is too great. It's not worth suffering only because you don't want to hurt someone. And I think that I hurt them more by living anyway. Sometimes I'm telling myself that all of this is just simulation in my head and after I'm gone it will be gone as well and there will be nothing left here.
Empty Smile
The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
- Jul 13, 2018
- 1,785
IMO, leaving a note or not... Will not ease the suffering of those you leave behind. It's the way the world works. It won't matter what you write, someone, somewhere, is going to feel guilty.
thats besides SI, besides i want so deperatly to live like one year before ( but illness), and my fear from pain, my main issue
I spent all of last year feeling that way - that I needed to keep going so I didn't upset people.
Facing another year (even another day) feeling like this - and the more things I try and the more hope I lose - the less it matters. I can't do anything about it. I am on the phone to my brother in tears once a week atm - and I really don't want to burden him as he has two kids, one disabled. I'm in a worsening state.
Facing another year (even another day) feeling like this - and the more things I try and the more hope I lose - the less it matters. I can't do anything about it. I am on the phone to my brother in tears once a week atm - and I really don't want to burden him as he has two kids, one disabled. I'm in a worsening state.
Alec
Wizard
- Apr 22, 2019
- 681
I sometimes get stuck thinking about how my ctb will effect those around me, but I remind myself that yes, I'm sorry if I'll cause pain or distress to anyone but this is my life and my existence. I can't live for somebody else, I have to do this for myself. I don't want to hurt you but I have to think about myself first. In some issues and things we have to think about ourselves first.
I have given a great deal of thought about how I want to handle this. My decision was to individually have an open discussion with key family and friends. To me it is more important to feel that we all have a chance to say what we feel is important to each other while the opportunity exists and minimize regrets after the fact. I have had several of those conversations so far, and while they haven't been easy I think it has been worth it for all concerned. It is probably easier for me than some others on this forum since my situation involves a progressive motor neuron disease that the key people in my life are already aware of.
hellopeople
Member
- Nov 1, 2019
- 12
I just don't care anymore. I have no feelings thinking about what will my relatives feel when they discover my body.
I was reading stories about how parents handle with their child committed suicide and I literally felt nothing. Though I love my parents, but being emotionless depressed piece of shit is what fucks me most. I never wanted to become this and I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
I was reading stories about how parents handle with their child committed suicide and I literally felt nothing. Though I love my parents, but being emotionless depressed piece of shit is what fucks me most. I never wanted to become this and I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
Hey may i talk to you in private as sonn as you can PM ( you need just another post than you have 5)
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
mathieu
Enlightened
- Jun 5, 2019
- 1,090
I don't see my suicide as being optional. I feel like I have to do it. It can't be helped that people will grieve.
Starcitty
Cloud
- Jan 6, 2020
- 40
This is very much how I feel at the moment. I was born into this world with a personality that doesn't fit into it and a family that doesn't understand me. If I had control than I would've chosen not to be born at all but sadly I have no choice. Death is pretty much the only way I can escape this life. Ending my suffering is a higher priority than seeing how others react to it.
enjoy
Creature
- Dec 20, 2019
- 337
it's going to happen no matter how you slice it.
if you decide to leave a note, tell them how much pain you were in. indulge in descriptive, figurative language. create some sort of imagery. use pathos. it'll show your perspective a bit better and create some feasibility for them to understand, even if they only understand slightly.
that's what i'm going for, at least.
if you decide to leave a note, tell them how much pain you were in. indulge in descriptive, figurative language. create some sort of imagery. use pathos. it'll show your perspective a bit better and create some feasibility for them to understand, even if they only understand slightly.
that's what i'm going for, at least.
This has kept me alive until I got too many problems to be able to live. I have to do it. I never thought some of the things that happened to me could ever happen. Life is so hard these days.
by realizing that i basically have no choice. life put me into an awful situation thats nearly impossible to live with, and im just reacting to it. im a victim of terrible circumstances. but tbh i try not to think about it too much bc it upsets me and makes me feel obligated to continue living.
Happy to talk via PM with you. I think I have hit the minimum number of posts now.
