How do you make decisons when killing yourself is just a matter of time

[oldgray]

my head hurts

 

[throwaway777]

you dont

 

[oldgray]

you dont

wish it was that easy

 

[dysfunctional]

Been generally making poor ones or none at all.

 

[throwaway777]

wish it was that easy

nothing matters, if you're going to kill yourself ..

 

[Sundayafternoon]

you dont

There are so many times you have to.
It's stressful and confusing.

 

[oldgray]

nothing matters, if you're going to kill yourself ..

i mean, yes?
but sadly i'm still alive, stuff happens, only the lucky ones are able to not make any choice.

 

[Schopenhauer]

You make them to the best of your ability. Try not to let the decision to ctb affect your decisions too much. You have to take into account the possibility of failure, a change of heart, or just plain fear.

 

[throwaway777]

i mean, yes?
but sadly i'm still alive, stuff happens, only the lucky ones are able to not make any choice.

sorry … i didnt want to generalize .. i myself should do lots of things , make some important decisions.. it's just that i can't do them because they feel so empty, and worthless to me..

 

[oldgray]

sorry … i didnt want to generalize .. i myself should do lots of things , make some important decisions.. it's just that i can't do them because they feel so empty, and worthless to me..

don't worry, i know what you mean

 

[Trashcan]

It's hard to. I just make decisions like I'm going to live a long time just in case I fail. But I don't think I will this Sunday.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Heh. What types of decisions do you mean?? I'm kind of all over the place. I just do whatever.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Ah, if you're talking about important life decisions....I think that's more individual case by case. Only you know your own life and how you feel about ending it. I would agree with others and say that you should be smart about what you do just in case you fail or have a change of heart. That's the smartest way to go about it. My case is a bit different. I have no choice but to die, and I am absolutely going to be dead, and there is no chance of failure. I have lawyers chasing me for money, and I've been telling them to screw. I just stopped caring about everything. It takes way too much energy, which I don't have, and it simply doesn't matter at all. I will be dead by or before January 11. Most likely I'll be dead before Christmas. That's the only thing I'm unsure about. Until then, I'm doing nothing except living my life and making the best of my remaining days. My case is different though. I'd say you should try your best to do what you have to do...

 

[TAW122]

For the interim, I'm just trying to maintain an appearance until I secure my method and about to do it. Sadly, there isn't a way for me to just let everything go to shit without setting off red flags or raising suspicion among the people around me IRL. Like if there is a sudden change in behavior, eating habits, routines, and what not, it will easily raise suspicions and could lead to my method being taken away from me. So until the very day and very moment that I ctb, I will still have to maintain some front to mask what I really intend to do (ctb).

God damn, life is already hard enough as it is, let alone having to sneak around, plan quietly and discreetly one's exit.

 

[oldgray]

Ah, if you're talking about important life decisions....I think that's more individual case by case. Only you know your own life and how you feel about ending it. I would agree with others and say that you should be smart about what you do just in case you fail or have a change of heart. That's the smartest way to go about it. My case is a bit different. I have no choice but to die, and I am absolutely going to be dead, and there is no chance of failure. I have lawyers chasing me for money, and I've been telling them to screw. I just stopped caring about everything. It takes way too much energy, which I don't have, and it simply doesn't matter at all. I will be dead by or before January 11. Most likely I'll be dead before Christmas. That's the only thing I'm unsure about. Until then, I'm doing nothing except living my life and making the best of my remaining days. My case is different though. I'd say you should try your best to do what you have to do...

the problem is that even if i know i'm going to kill myself eventuallyi i am clueless on when i'm going to do so, i basically have to make decisions about a future i can't see no matter what.
and yeah i could do whatever i want but there really isn't anything i want to do except sleeping, which is the only distraction i have left to make my mind shut up.

 

[oldgray]

hey guys, just wanted to let you know making this thread helped a little, so thanks

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I do find my decision-making has been quite severely compromised in recent years. I have chronic brain fog from my medical condition, and many years of depression and psychiatric medication behind me. It's made me quite reckless/impulsive, and I have lots of trouble thinking in a smooth forward trajectory.

I can't yet plan any form of exit because I have too much up in the air right now, and I'm so cognitively impaired that I have difficulty just planning a shower or a trip to the store. I can only imagine how hard it will be for me if and when I decide to ctb.

 

[TAW122]

I do find my decision-making has been quite severely compromised in recent years. I have chronic brain fog from my medical condition, and many years of depression and psychiatric medication behind me. It's made me quite reckless/impulsive, and I have lots of trouble thinking in a smooth forward trajectory.

I can't yet plan any form of exit because I have too much up in the air right now, and I'm so cognitively impaired that I have difficulty just planning a shower or a trip to the store. I can only imagine how hard it will be for me if and when I decide to ctb.

That is a really tough place to be since you want to stop the pain and go, but yet at the same time, you aren't able to clearly plan out a method and be able to carry it out. I do hope you are able to find peace in choosing a method that will work for your situation.

 

[Lra888]

I know what you mean. I've made many self sabotaging choices because I'm finished with this world. Even simple things like "why save money", "why eat nutritious food" , "why attempt work". It makes me intolerant of any unpleasant tedium.

 

[Living_Ghost]

I know what you mean. I've made many self sabotaging choices because I'm finished with this world. Even simple things like "why save money", "why eat nutritious food" , "why attempt work". It makes me intolerant of any unpleasant tedium.

Likewise. Problem is when you find yourself still alive you are much more fucked than if you made some kind of decent effort along the way.
I guess we do these things so we can self fulfill our prophecy ....
Or else we just found life too hard ...
One thing is for sure ,we will be left with no option in the end.

 

[Meeseeks]

I've made some terrible decisions of late because I was convinced I'd Ctb Sadly, if I change my mind, I'll have to deal with the consequences of all that. Ooo weee.

 

[Midnight]

Been generally making poor ones

Same here.

 

[Cromulus]

I've made some terrible decisions of late because I was convinced I'd Ctb Sadly, if I change my mind, I'll have to deal with the consequences of all that. Ooo weee.

Oooo weeee mrmeeseeks lol

 

[Meeseeks]

Self destruct? Caaaaannn do!

 

[Mortalscreensaver]

I do find my decision-making has been quite severely compromised in recent years. I have chronic brain fog from my medical condition, and many years of depression and psychiatric medication behind me. It's made me quite reckless/impulsive, and I have lots of trouble thinking in a smooth forward trajectory.

I can't yet plan any form of exit because I have too much up in the air right now, and I'm so cognitively impaired that I have difficulty just planning a shower or a trip to the store. I can only imagine how hard it will be for me if and when I decide to ctb.

Wow I relate to this