Discussion How do you let go of everything before dying?

[kawaiiphantom]

I think I've slowly been able to let go of everything that I love about life. I know I need to let go of everything before dying but I'm still having a hard time with the last bit of it. How would you go about letting go of everything? Have you already done that?

 

[warmbreeze]

Hi I normally don't comment on this forum and only visit it when I am very very down. However I need to comment on this one. I've been having a rough time lately and have found myself browsing this forum at late hours of the night before bed, unsure of what I'm even looking to find here. One thing I have found is your comments on many post spreading so much kindness, love, comfort and positivity to people who needed it. So in return I really want to be able to extend that to you. Do you need someone to talk to? I don't know how DM's work on this site but if you know how to DM me please feel free to or we can have a conversation here too. What has you feeling this way?

 

[Return2themoonlight]

I don't think I'll ever be able to let everything go but what I do know is my desire to ctb is greater than my desire to live. As long as that remains the same, I wont care about what I leave behind or didnt get to do. Sadly to say..

 

[Thanksforeverything]

When people are really close to death, most things naturally start to lose importance. If you're having difficulty letting go of everything before dying, it might not be your time yet. Ask yourself if the things that still matter to you are worth living for. If the answer is yes, then wait. Suicide can always be your last option.

 

[inmyhead]

@Thanksforeverything's post is definitely the answer. I would say if there are still things you love about life then that's a sign you should stick around a bit longer.

You can always CTB if you hit a point where you don't love anything in life anymore. But while there's still positives out there, enjoy them.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't know. I never really got attached to anything about life to begin with

 

[kawaiiphantom]

@Thanksforeverything's post is definitely the answer. I would say if there are still things you love about life then that's a sign you should stick around a bit longer.

You can always CTB if you hit a point where you don't love anything in life anymore. But while there's still positives out there, enjoy them.

Thank you for answering, I appreciate the response a lot <3 honestly there's still things I love but my feelings for them have grown to way less over the years. I can't even leave my room because of severe social anxiety and agoraphobia. Ive never been able to work either because many times when I go into a public space I either have an intense derealization episode or have panic attacks. I'm just so damn tired of fighting so hard and trying to recover, trying to take care of myself, trying to find meds that work for me. I do everything I can but each time I fall harder and deeper into misery, I'm tired of just surviving until the next tiny bit of dopamine my brain can spare

Hi I normally don't comment on this forum and only visit it when I am very very down. However I need to comment on this one. I've been having a rough time lately and have found myself browsing this forum at late hours of the night before bed, unsure of what I'm even looking to find here. One thing I have found is your comments on many post spreading so much kindness, love, comfort and positivity to people who needed it. So in return I really want to be able to extend that to you. Do you need someone to talk to? I don't know how DM's work on this site but if you know how to DM me please feel free to or we can have a conversation here too. What has you feeling this way?

Thank you so much :'> that's very kind of you to say, I'm glad I could have at least somewhat of a positive impact before I die I don't think I can DM your account yet because you need to post more I believe to unlock that feature. Thanks again for the words, they mean a lot

 

[Forever Sleep]

For me, I'm really not sure how close I am to CTB. I'm waiting for my Dad to go first anyway. But, sometimes I feel like I would be ready if the time came.

It's not that there aren't things I don't like in life. There are even a few places I'd still like to see. But, I suppose I think- what will those things or places give me that I haven't already experienced? Will it be the end of the world if I don't eat chocolate again or, don't see the sea again before I die?

I guess it depends on what you believe but I think it most likely that suicide will be an action to end all actions. I don't think I will have regrets beyond that point. So- in that case, it won't really matter what I did or didn't get to do beforehand.

I guess it depends on what it is you're still hanging on to or, wanting to do. Can you do whatever it is and then see how you feel? I guess it's more complicated if it's a massive ambition or a relationship though.

 

[vak]

If you are serious, getting rid of your possessions can help in some way. I'm in the process of giving away my guitar - it's not just a thing to me, it is a repository of many hopes and dreams, it represents the desire of getting good at something and also the reality of failing constantly. It represents the aspiration for a socially acceptable hobby and being accepted as a result, none of which happened. Giving it away means saying goodbye to these feelings. It's extremely difficult for me because the hope is still there, but I think it needs to be done. Maybe you have some things that anchor you to earthly thoughts?

 

[Meteora]

I think I've slowly been able to let go of everything that I love about life. I know I need to let go of everything before dying but I'm still having a hard time with the last bit of it. How would you go about letting go of everything? Have you already done that?

What do you mean concretely?
I know that having animals would improve my depression a lot. I could get two rescue cats in mid- March but honestly, I know that would tie me to life and I don't want that.

 

[warmbreeze]

Thank you for answering, I appreciate the response a lot <3 honestly there's still things I love but my feelings for them have grown to way less over the years. I can't even leave my room because of severe social anxiety and agoraphobia. Ive never been able to work either because many times when I go into a public space I either have an intense derealization episode or have panic attacks. I'm just so damn tired of fighting so hard and trying to recover, trying to take care of myself, trying to find meds that work for me. I do everything I can but each time I fall harder and deeper into misery, I'm tired of just surviving until the next tiny bit of dopamine my brain can spare

Thank you so much :'> that's very kind of you to say, I'm glad I could have at least somewhat of a positive impact before I die I don't think I can DM your account yet because you need to post more I believe to unlock that feature. Thanks again for the words, they mean a lot

Hii I've been in a really similar place to where you are now. I used to have very bad social anxiety and started experiencing derealization episodes in college. For me a lot of it was because I was on the wrong medicine (it was actually a huge source of the anxiety and switching to the right one helped so much). I also had personal issues that I needed to work out and thankfully therapy helped me through it.

I know how frustrating it is when it feels like nothing is working but there are not enough people like you who go out of their way to make everyone feel better and I truly think the world is a better place with you in it. I'm so sorry I know it's against the rules to speak like this on this forum and I won't make it a habit but I'd really regret not telling you that I think you deserve recovery

 

[26mmmm]

I think I've slowly been able to let go of everything that I love about life. I know I need to let go of everything before dying but I'm still having a hard time with the last bit of it. How would you go about letting go of everything? Have you already done that?

I tell myself that all the places, people and things I've loved will all continue to exist, just because ill be gone doesn't change that,
I'd like to imagine that I'd meet the people I love again one day, if there is an afterlife
And to feel like my life hasn't been wasted I'd like to leave some sort of "legacy" with my suicide note, just teach those around me a lesson, even if its small, so they end up being better people.

But like other people here have mentioned, if you still have things to live for than I suggest trying to overcome your issues.
Sometimes it seems impossible, and im in the same boat right now, but that could just be because you're stuck in a bubble, having a negative and flawed narrative on life.
Although I am still miserable and broken, I can tell you for a fact that things do change if you try hard enough. I cant guarantee they will change for the better but it's definitely possible.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Everything I ever got attached to has been taken away from me or died. I don't have anything left to let go of, I'm an empty bottomless pit of nothingness. I tried my best to fill me life up with the things most people take for granted but every one of them always eluded me. At least I can say there's nothing holding me back from cbt now.

 

[Doemu]

I don't think letting go everything is a decision, it just happen. It's about how you feel in every moment.

 

[xoirse]

i try to think that everything's better if i leave it. i have done nothing significant to change things for the better because i don't have it in me as much as i want to. my will to die is simply just stronger. even though it's hard for me to let go, if it stays with me for much more longer i know i'd eventually ruin it because of my toxic overthinking and being scared they wouldn't last long with me. i also try to think that they wouldn't matter anyways if i am going to ctb soon.

 

[inmyhead]

Thank you for answering, I appreciate the response a lot <3 honestly there's still things I love but my feelings for them have grown to way less over the years. I can't even leave my room because of severe social anxiety and agoraphobia. Ive never been able to work either because many times when I go into a public space I either have an intense derealization episode or have panic attacks. I'm just so damn tired of fighting so hard and trying to recover, trying to take care of myself, trying to find meds that work for me. I do everything I can but each time I fall harder and deeper into misery, I'm tired of just surviving until the next tiny bit of dopamine my brain can spare

I know exactly how you feel. fellow agoraphobic over here and it's awful. But I did manage to recover with some intensive therapy and thankfully have never backslid into it. Recovery is possible. Same for the meds, I spent over a decade going through different medications and dosages and finally found the right one for me. Not saying I'm better (wouldn't be here if I was) but the low episodes are fewer, less all consuming and don't last as long. There is still hope.

 

[R_N]

I feel most suicides are impulsive and done by people who actually care too much that it gets unbearable to stay present.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

Hii I've been in a really similar place to where you are now. I used to have very bad social anxiety and started experiencing derealization episodes in college. For me a lot of it was because I was on the wrong medicine (it was actually a huge source of the anxiety and switching to the right one helped so much). I also had personal issues that I needed to work out and thankfully therapy helped me through it.

I know how frustrating it is when it feels like nothing is working but there are not enough people like you who go out of their way to make everyone feel better and I truly think the world is a better place with you in it. I'm so sorry I know it's against the rules to speak like this on this forum and I won't make it a habit but I'd really regret not telling you that I think you deserve recovery

I'm so sorry you had to go through that as well, social anxiety and derealization are so terrifying to go through <3 i was in art school last year and it can be incredibly hard to manage mental health and college at the same time. it makes me very happy that changing meds helped, and therapy!!! You seem like a very warm person and I appreciate you taking the time to comment on this post even though you don't usually comment on this forum. You deserve recovery as well I just think I'm past the point of recovery, I might change my mind but I doubt it, I've been in limbo for so long and I'm so worn down. It's okay to speak like that, you should be able to speak your mind and say your thoughts and feelings! I hope it's not against the rules to tell someone they deserve recovery because that would be pretty silly in my eyes. I hope you get feeling better and not have to browse this forum in the late hours of the night anymore

 

[Final_Choice]

For me I've just been slowly losing interest in everything and losing anything that I ever enjoyed or made me feel anything that wasn't painful. It was a slow process of continuously reaching rock bottom and realizing I can always go even lower. Before I realized it I didn't have much of an SI anymore since I've just been living life on auto mode and haven't felt like I was alive in a long time.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

If you are serious, getting rid of your possessions can help in some way. I'm in the process of giving away my guitar - it's not just a thing to me, it is a repository of many hopes and dreams, it represents the desire of getting good at something and also the reality of failing constantly. It represents the aspiration for a socially acceptable hobby and being accepted as a result, none of which happened. Giving it away means saying goodbye to these feelings. It's extremely difficult for me because the hope is still there, but I think it needs to be done. Maybe you have some things that anchor you to earthly thoughts?

Thats a great advice.
I started deleting my social networks, all my pictures and gave away some objects. This week ill start to give away my clothes.

Yesterday my pc broke, and i was very frustrated but at the same time i faced that fact as a sign to let go my last relevant asset and let go my last hope to back to work. I think its a process. Your advice is great, love your guittar representation @vak

 

[FluffyCat]

I relate to this way too much, I think it is a very slow process of coming to terms with letting go. It is after you know the weight of letting go of everything that you are ready, I think.
Obviously there are things that are very hard to give up, could be family, friends, anything you hold dear. I truly don't know if I'll ever be able to accept the consequences.
There's many days where I can't bring myself to do anything, can't feel a thing about the stuff I used to care for, just drowning in my thoughts. But then there are the rare moments when I pickup a pen and draw, which lets me feel a glimmer of hope until the self doubt sets in again.

Wow, sorry for the long tangent, it's just something that felt very relatable and important to me.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I relate to this way too much, I think it is a very slow process of coming to terms with letting go. It is after you know the weight of letting go of everything that you are ready, I think.
Obviously there are things that are very hard to give up, could be family, friends, anything you hold dear. I truly don't know if I'll ever be able to accept the consequences.
There's many days where I can't bring myself to do anything, can't feel a thing about the stuff I used to care for, just drowning in my thoughts. But then there are the rare moments when I pickup a pen and draw, which lets me feel a glimmer of hope until the self doubt sets in again.

Wow, sorry for the long tangent, it's just something that felt very relatable and important to me.

No need to be sorry at all :] thank you for responding to the thread (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ this honestly resonates with me so much. Especially picking up a pencil and drawing, feeling the bit of hope until it's extinguished. What you said pretty much describes exactly how I feel, I couldn't have said It better myself. I hate that you have to struggle with these things too it can be truly horrible

 

[FluffyCat]

No need to be sorry at all :] thank you for responding to the thread (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ this honestly resonates with me so much. Especially picking up a pencil and drawing, feeling the bit of hope until it's extinguished. What you said pretty much describes exactly how I feel, I couldn't have said It better myself. I hate that you have to struggle with these things too it can be truly horrible

Thank you for being so kind and accepting, it means a lot, especially when there not much of it to come by ♡.
Also I think I saw you post your art on the art megathread - it is super cute! I could never get the courage to post some of mine

 

[Manfrotto99]

Please don't take this as judging as it's not ment to be, it's only that I do not understand. If there are things in your life that you love, that your attached to, why must you let them go, if there keeping you alive then maybe your are ment to still be here? I wish I had things in my life that I loved, but I don't they've all died or been taken from me....so the universe is confirming it's time for me to go and I accept that, but that dosnt sound like its where your at.

I'm no therapist either but I once had a massive fear of talking in public. I have a heridtory tremor and would turn into a trembling mess just talking in front of a couple of people. People said there was no hope. But a few years later I was working as a public speaker educating people and talking in front of hundreds of people. I did it by studying and just focusing on what I loved and got a job speaking up for animals and nature. You can use the things you love and are attached to your benefit, sometimes you just have to find the way that works for you.

 

[26mmmm]

Please don't take this as judging as it's not ment to be, it's only that I do not understand. If there are things in your life that you love, that your attached to, why must you let them go, if there keeping you alive then maybe your are ment to still be here? I wish I had things in my life that I loved, but I don't they've all died or been taken from me....so the universe is confirming it's time for me to go and I accept that, but that dosnt sound like its where your at.

I'm no therapist either but I once had a massive fear of talking in public. I have a heridtory tremor and would turn into a trembling mess just talking in front of a couple of people. People said there was no hope. But a few years later I was working as a public speaker educating people and talking in front of hundreds of people. I did it by studying and just focusing on what I loved and got a job speaking up for animals and nature. You can use the things you love and are attached to your benefit, sometimes you just gave to find the way that works for you.

Its more complicated than that sometimes.
Personally I have things that I love in life and would love to live for but they might just not be accessible to me and the negatives could outweigh the positives by alot.

For example, I love the UK. I've spent a good amount of time in my childhood there and I don't want to sound annoying but I really feel like I belong, it feels like my home.
I miss my home town, places I've been to, things I've done there, the culture etc.
I miss it alot but im probably never going to be able to return for significant periods of time let alone live there, and that's a small portion of my reason to ctb.