I'm gonna attempt to articulate my position on this. But know that whatever I say here is ultimately watered down for brevity.
Know your values inside and out. When I say this, I mean know your set and hierarchy of values. Which values will precede the other in a particular situation. Most people look at the world with the lens of morality, right and wrong, good and bad. I personally throw all of that out the window. We're just a bunch of people with a particular set and hierarchy of values.
When someone says to us that they care, we might immediately assume that their 'care' is exactly the same as ours. This is almost always false in the particulars. When this gets tested, the difference will eventually show itself. Then, we feel neglected, betrayed, or whatever else. When in reality, what we did was miscommunicated our values. The expectation of sameness leads us to much suffering, the stage is often set by a false sense of righteousness, understanding, or expectation. There is no right and wrong. There is only what we value and how these values mingle with another's.
This can take time of course. It's taken me years to get a good framework of my own values. I can say I value this or that, but the only time I really know how accurate that is is when it is tested. I later realized how little I care about morality, and value communication more than most things. I can look past peoples' harshest mistakes if only they can have a real, genuine conversation with me. I don't imagine many would share this value with me, but it has given me a much deeper understanding of myself and how I affect and am affected by the world around me. I learned why certain people didn't work well with me because it was tested in that particular situation. As a consequence, I've developed my own tools specified to discern a particular set of values in others. It's not perfect, and I find myself still very much alone. But it has given me a sense of ease. I'm not in the dark wondering about things. I know what I'm looking for and how hard it might be to find it.
The upside of understanding your values inside and out is that you naturally equip yourself with tools to discern others' values, even if they themselves are incapable of understanding it. Most conflict arises from a misperception, misinterpretation, or misunderstanding, rather than some form of malice. Most people aren't actually 'bad' people (but that's a difficult discussion to have).
Find people with whom you have a high degree of overlap with your highest values. With that comes trust. They may, on occasion, approach things in a way that you do not agree with. But if you can discern what value their actions stem from, and if it aligns with yours, then you can work through it together. Read people primarily from their values rather than their actions, and try to understand what went wrong when those contradict.
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