Discussion How do you handle your parents?

[Mule]

This is proving to be a huge stumbling block for me.

Situation in brief: selling my house at a loss to pay for some time off (1 - 2 years) before ctb because I don't want to live let alone work. Mom thinks I'll be homeless (doesn't know I'm ctb, but i guess I will be if I don't), can't tell her my plans and she says she's going to be done with me if I do sell the house (her words). Guess I just have to bite the bullet and lose her.

How do you guys handle your parents and knowing you have to hide your intentions from them? I've told my mom I'd rather be dead but she keeps encouraging me to live and get a job and it fucks me off. WHAT PART OF "I WANT TO BE DEAD" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND.

 

[Circles]

This is proving to be a huge stumbling block for me.

Situation in brief: selling my house at a loss to pay for some time off (1 - 2 years) before ctb because I don't want to live let alone work. Mom thinks I'll be homeless (doesn't know I'm ctb, but i guess I will be if I don't), can't tell her my plans and she says she's going to be done with me if I do sell the house (her words). Guess I just have to bite the bullet and lose her.

How do you guys handle your parents and knowing you have to hide your intentions from them? I've told my mom I'd rather be dead but she keeps encouraging me to live and get a job and it fucks me off. WHAT PART OF "I WANT TO BE DEAD" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND.

I subtly express the same emotions with my mother but she is understanding since she works in mental health. But it's like walking on egg shells with her since she gets emotional whenever I express how I feel. I even have to replace the word 'suicide' and just say 's word' out of not making it sound so severe. I'm at the point where talking about it with her or anybody in general is becoming complicated. It's like they expect this to be just a phase to be overcome but I don't know, I'm trying atleast. I'm sorry your hurting but I think it's just their love for us that's blinding them from understanding.

 

[DeadlyLiving]

I am pretty sure many suicidal people out there aren't dead by now because they care too much about the feelings of their family. I also don't want to hurt my grandma or make my mom sad but truth is that YOU have to live with your thoughts and feelings and all the pain that goes with it. If you tell someone that you want to die they are most likely to say "But what about your family and your friends? You'd hurt them!", but what about us? Is our live worth less than that of our family so that we have to exist to keep the pain of our death away from them?
Death is unavoidable, it gets everyone in the end. If you don't want to live for whatever reason and you just don't see that it would be worth to stay and give it try after try, it is your choice to leave it. It is not selfish nor wrong, you don't have to go through pain and sadness just to not make your family sad.

I know that I will make my grandma very, very sad with my death. She is the person that I care about most. But I can't be happy anymore, I can't see a future for me and I don't want one with my past experience. So someday this year I am going to CTB, and I will write my grandma a letter and will let her know that there was literally nothing she could have done to save me, maybe that will help her. It's the only thing I can do to make it easier.

 

[Redt2go]

This is proving to be a huge stumbling block for me.

Situation in brief: selling my house at a loss to pay for some time off (1 - 2 years) before ctb because I don't want to live let alone work. Mom thinks I'll be homeless (doesn't know I'm ctb, but i guess I will be if I don't), can't tell her my plans and she says she's going to be done with me if I do sell the house (her words). Guess I just have to bite the bullet and lose her.

How do you guys handle your parents and knowing you have to hide your intentions from them? I've told my mom I'd rather be dead but she keeps encouraging me to live and get a job and it fucks me off. WHAT PART OF "I WANT TO BE DEAD" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND.

You're her child. A mother could never just let their child go without fighting for them

 

[azucaramargo]

I am pretty sure many suicidal people out there aren't dead by now because they care too much about the feelings of their family. I also don't want to hurt my grandma or make my mom sad but truth is that YOU have to live with your thoughts and feelings and all the pain that goes with it. If you tell someone that you want to die they are most likely to say "But what about your family and your friends? You'd hurt them!", but what about us? Is our live worth less than that of our family so that we have to exist to keep the pain of our death away from them?
Death is unavoidable, it gets everyone in the end. If you don't want to live for whatever reason and you just don't see that it would be worth to stay and give it try after try, it is your choice to leave it. It is not selfish nor wrong, you don't have to go through pain and sadness just to not make your family sad.

I know that I will make my grandma very, very sad with my death. She is the person that I care about most. But I can't be happy anymore, I can't see a future for me and I don't want one with my past experience. So someday this year I am going to CTB, and I will write my grandma a letter and will let her know that there was literally nothing she could have done to save me, maybe that will help her. It's the only thing I can do to make it easier.

Well-put, Deadly Living.

 

[LoNatural]

It's the biological imperative for our parents to oppose our suicide. Personally I'm waiting for their death to ctb. I think It's the least that I can do to someone that has invested so much in me. I won't let them know what it feels like to lose a son. They won't see me thriving either tho.

 

[Pulpit2018]

I think its too hard of a burden to put on yourself to worry about your parents.
Things are hard enough as it is.Besides,lets face it,without them you would not be here which would be a good thing.
There is not much you can do about it.They will be affected,no matter how you try to smooth it for them.
They will have to accept it.We have no obligation to participate in a sick game.

In the words of Rust Cohle:"They welcomed it... not at first, but... right there in the last instant. It's an unmistakable relief. See, cause they were afraid, and now they saw for the very first time how easy it was to just... let go.You, yourself, this whole big drama, it was never more than a jerry-rig of presumption and dumb will, and you could just let go."

 

[goxua]

It's the biological imperative for our parents to oppose our suicide. Personally I'm waiting for their death to ctb. I think It's the least that I can do to someone that has invested so much in me. I won't let them know what it feels like to lose a son. They won't see me thriving either tho.

I'm doing the same. But as I got the long life ass genes from them....sigh

My mother fights for life in spite of her health issues and I'll never forget how she screamed and grabbed for me to hold onto when she was near death once, telling me she wasn't ready to die yet. I was the only one of her three children there at the hospital that afternoon. We have a strong understanding between us; maybe one stronger than she has with my siblings. She died when she had me when I was born prematurely. She had severe pre-eclampsia but was brought back after being medically dead.

She knows how I want to die. She can talk quite rationally about it with me. But I can't see myself doing that ever to her and my dad. I know she wants me not to suffer anymore so it's a weird conflicting feeling.

 

[21Neberg]

Like many many others in this forum, my parents' grief is something I try not to focus on, as it makes me feel incredibly guilty.