• Hey Guest,

    If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

allym101

allym101

Ally
May 29, 2020
276
Lately I've been soooo unmotivated but I don't really have the option to just stay in bed all day. How do you guys cope with life? What pushes you to go to work or do your course? I need some tips cause I'm reaching my breaking point but I need to act like I'm fine or else my boyfriend will get suspicious again and send me to the ward.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Kat!, Disappointered, Huntfish34 and 10 others
Stick

Stick

Experienced
Aug 31, 2020
269
I struggle with this a lot, but I try and think of the fact that I won't be ruminating on what I haven't done if I've done the task? You need better advice when you're in deep, I know I do, but that's the advice I have.
In terms of literally getting up I break it down into baby steps, like as small as I can. Sometimes I just start with blinking my eyes uncomfortably fast, and then I kinda wiggle and sit up and get up and make my coffee. It doesn't always work but it helps me to break tasks down as much as possible.
Are you sure your boyfriend won't be more understanding? Maybe you could let him know that you need a little bit of help staying motivated?
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Nimbus, sufferingalways, Huntfish34 and 5 others
Insertname1

Insertname1

Student
Sep 21, 2020
188
Lately I've been soooo unmotivated but I don't really have the option to just stay in bed all day. How do you guys cope with life? What pushes you to go to work or do your course? I need some tips cause I'm reaching my breaking point but I need to act like I'm fine or else my boyfriend will get suspicious again and send me to the ward.
I got a sick note for work so I dont get up except for a smoke or toilet or my alcohol. If I feel shit when my sick note runs out I'll get another. Thats how I cope. Alcohol and laying in bed all day
 
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, deadgirlahsatan, JohnDoe555 and 6 others
Deleted member 22650

Deleted member 22650

Student
Oct 7, 2020
153
I'm living on my own of 3$ a day, I don't eat alot, I try to keep my expense as low as possible just have a enough to not die yet and when I'm in need a money I go on indeed find a job for a week then keep doing nothing for as long as I can, I don't advise living like me tho, it's unhealthy but i'm searching a way to CTB so who cares, you should probably talk about this to your boyfriend, he might want to help you, it's always nice to have someone that is there for you.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Rorschach, deadgirlahsatan, Antigonish and 8 others
Ardesevent

Ardesevent

It’s the end of the line, cowboy
Feb 2, 2020
358
I force myself to do coursework way before it's due. It's sort of a 'if I get this done then there's no consequences if I botch an attempt or slack off for a few days' motive. I'm not sure if it'll help you at all though.
 
  • Like
Reactions: deadgirlahsatan, maybepossiblyithink, Deleted member 4993 and 2 others
Insertname1

Insertname1

Student
Sep 21, 2020
188
I'm living on my own of 3$ a day, I don't eat alot, I try to keep my expense as low as possible just have a enough to not die yet and when I'm in need a money I go on indeed find a job for a week then keep doing nothing for as long as I can, I don't advise living like me tho, it's unhealthy but i'm searching a way to CTB so who cares, you should probably talk about this to your boyfriend, he might want to help you, it's always nice to have someone that is there for you.
I've lived like that believe me. Had to go a day or 2 without eating, and then have 1 meal, but like @Stick said, speak to your boyfriend, he should be there for you in times like these, to support you 100%
 
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, deadgirlahsatan, Deleted member 4993 and 2 others
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I get up but I don't do anything. There's really nothing to get up for. I used to think that was a good thing
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: NeverEndingProblem, maybepossiblyithink, Antigonish and 4 others
allym101

allym101

Ally
May 29, 2020
276
I've lived like that believe me. Had to go a day or 2 without eating, and then have 1 meal, but like @Stick said, speak to your boyfriend, he should be there for you in times like these, to support you 100%
He's kind of an ass, and a snitch. I don't trust him and I know sure as hell if I started acting depressed again he'd get all angry and call me crazy and what not. I can't risk getting caught again, if he finds out about this website I'm screwed.
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
  • Wow
Reactions: Worndown, Huntfish34, deadgirlahsatan and 4 others
Deleted member 22650

Deleted member 22650

Student
Oct 7, 2020
153
He's kind of an ass, and a snitch. I don't trust him and I know sure as hell if I started acting depressed again he'd get all angry and call me crazy and what not. I can't risk getting caught again, if he finds out about this website I'm screwed.
Leave then, why bother staying with someone that doesn't care about your feelings, that's insane.
 
  • Like
Reactions: deadgirlahsatan and Rn110bg101
allym101

allym101

Ally
May 29, 2020
276
Leave then, why bother staying with someone that doesn't care about your feelings, that's insane.
It's complicated. I wish it were that easy. I'm too pathetic to leave him. I've tried, multiple times. Never worked.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Huntfish34, deadgirlahsatan, Rn110bg101 and 1 other person
Insertname1

Insertname1

Student
Sep 21, 2020
188
It's complicated. I wish it were that easy. I'm too pathetic to leave him. I've tried, multiple times. Never worked.
Break ups are never easy, im sorry you're stuck in that situation, I suppose on 1 hand he's looking out for you but on the other hand he shouldn't call you crazy and should ask you what you need to help you. Sort of like stuck between a rock and a hard place I guess you could say
 
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, Rn110bg101, Deleted member 4993 and 1 other person
Stick

Stick

Experienced
Aug 31, 2020
269
He's kind of an ass, and a snitch. I don't trust him and I know sure as hell if I started acting depressed again he'd get all angry and call me crazy and what not. I can't risk getting caught again, if he finds out about this website I'm screwed.
He sounds abusive
 
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, Rn110bg101, Deleted member 4993 and 1 other person
Deleted member 22650

Deleted member 22650

Student
Oct 7, 2020
153
It's complicated. I wish it were that easy. I'm too pathetic to leave him. I've tried, multiple times. Never worked.
I mean it depends if you talk about suicide and depression to get attention, then i guess he could be an ass about it, but if you generally want to die but your trying to get better he should help with it, personally i'd be so crushed if my gf were to call me crazy and attention seeking if I was talking about such deep part of myself that I would probably tell her to fuck off. Just my thought tho.
 
  • Like
Reactions: allym101 and Stick
Deleted member 22650

Deleted member 22650

Student
Oct 7, 2020
153
I mean it depends if you talk about suicide and depression to get attention, then i guess he could be an ass about it, but if you genuinely want to die but your trying to get better he should help with it, personally i'd be so crushed if my gf were to call me crazy and attention seeking if I was talking about such deep part of myself that I would probably tell her to fuck off. Just my thought tho.
 
E

everydayiloveyou

Arcanist
Jul 5, 2020
490
I wake up because I have to go to school and then go to work. My final goal before ctb is to graduate. So if I don't work, I won't be able to pay my tuition. And if I don't pay tuition, I can't graduate.

What's stopping you from leaving your boyfriend? He does sound really abusive. Even if you don't think you are strong enough to leave or worthy to be on your own, you need to weigh the options. The person who makes you feel afraid and distrustful is the one with the problems, not you. Even a happy and normal person would feel scared and pathetic with that kind of pressure. I know it must be hard, but I hope you can get out of it soon.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Stick, Deleted member 4993 and allym101
allym101

allym101

Ally
May 29, 2020
276
I wake up because I have to go to school and then go to work. My final goal before ctb is to graduate. So if I don't work, I won't be able to pay my tuition. And if I don't pay tuition, I can't graduate.

What's stopping you from leaving your boyfriend? He does sound really abusive. Even if you don't think you are strong enough to leave or worthy to be on your own, you need to weigh the options. The person who makes you feel afraid and distrustful is the one with the problems, not you. Even a happy and normal person would feel scared and pathetic with that kind of pressure. I know it must be hard, but I hope you can get out of it soon.
Okay, thank you. As I said though, it's complicated. I wish I could just get it done and over with. I love him so much but at the same time he's not really a great person so it's very conflicting.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Stick and Deleted member 4993
J

JustLosingMyself

Mage
Sep 4, 2018
544
Routine.
Go to bed around the same time every day
Get up around the same time every day
Get breakfast around the same time every day.
Have a list of things that need doing, break it down in must do today, need doing by day x , need doing by month end. Accept that you'll miss some but not all.
Cat and dogs need feeding
Dogs need walking
Some exercise
Limit alcohol
Set boundaries for yourself
Stop eating anything with added sugar.
Eat your greens
Exercise some more
Keep busy (i build models and paint miniatures) with something you need to concentrate on
Exercise some more
...
Keep busy.
It's difficult. It's possible.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: allym101, Stick, enuff and 1 other person
karaboudjan

karaboudjan

Tired
Sep 24, 2020
27
Sleeping is all I want to do these days. I wake up at some random hour of day or night and all I want to do is turn over and sleep some more. I don't want to go outside because it's cold and the coronavirus makes going anywhere kind of depressing anyway. So I sit in front of my computer and browse social media or watch random junk on YouTube for hours. After a while I'm happy to climb back into bed.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: pseudonym, demuic, allym101 and 5 others
_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
826
Wake up? I'm nearly always up. I have trouble falling and staying asleep that it's hardly worth the effort. Have to pop one of my trazodone pills to remotely feel somewhat tired, and even that fails more often than not. But when I do actually get some sleep, I find it hard to even get out of bed. I only really do for when I want to be on my PC.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: demuic, allym101, Stick and 1 other person
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,745
My husband wakes me up. At first he'd shake me awake but starting my day pissed off wasn't working so I told him to put on some music. If I like it I'll wake up typically.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: allym101, Stick, Deleted member 4993 and 1 other person
Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
929
What pushes me to stay awake is my mother bitching about how I need to get a life in my ear. Otherwise I feel dread filling me up the exact moment I open my eyes. The discrepance of not feeling anything while asleep and waking up to be sad and unmotivated is so huge, I feel waking up is literally the worst moment of every single of my days.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34, allym101, Mooshi and 4 others
_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
826
What pushes me to stay awake is my mother bitching about how I need to get a life in my ear. Otherwise I feel dread filling me up the exact moment I open my eyes. The discrepance of not feeling anything while asleep and waking up to be sad and unmotivated is so huge, I feel waking up is literally the worst moment of every single of my days.

Yup, same thing I have to deal with the people I currently live with. I'm always on edge and filled with anxiety for the next moment I'm going to be confronted about my lack of trying to live life. Can't fall asleep even when I'm near 48 hours of no sleep because of my paranoia, and when I do, I wake up wishing I had never woken up. Rinse and repeat.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34, allym101, Stick and 2 others
Nephthys22

Nephthys22

Member
Aug 16, 2020
34
Against my will.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: woxihuanni, demuic, allym101 and 4 others
TheSomebody

TheSomebody

...
Sep 28, 2020
283
Just know that love is easily forgettable and when you get away from this guy and find someone better you won't even remember him anymore. An abusive relationship like this has no happy ending.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Huntfish34 and allym101
_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
826
Just know that love is easily forgettable and when you get away from this guy and find someone better you won't even remember him anymore. An abusive relationship like this has no happy ending.

To some extent, I agree. Everyone's different of course. Me personally?
I remember every single person I have ever been with, and I remember of the majority of the problems we had and downfalls.
God I wish I didn't fuck up all my relationships.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34, allym101, Stick and 1 other person
Astronomer

Astronomer

GIF Geek
Oct 6, 2020
149
'Oh fuck another day on this earth'
 
  • Like
Reactions: LONE WOLF., pseudonym, Huntfish34 and 4 others
TheSomebody

TheSomebody

...
Sep 28, 2020
283
To some extent, I agree. Everyone's different of course. Me personally?
I remember every single person I have ever been with, and I remember of the majority of the problems we had and downfalls.
God I wish I didn't fuck up all my relationships.
Remembering someone doesn't mean you still love them. Maybe you are simply needy and in need of company, so you miss what you had before. But the moment we find a better Company, it is easy to forget the old ones
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34, allym101, TooConscious and 1 other person
_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
826
Remembering someone doesn't mean you still love them. Maybe you are simply needy and in need of company, so you miss what you had before. But the moment we find a better Company, it is easy to forget the old ones
I suppose I misunderstood what you said. Forgive me, I really am lacking sleep right now lol. I guess to an extent, there was things about all of them I loved. If I hadn't I would've never been with them. It's hard to let go of things that could have been, at least for me. Still awaiting that company. :P
 
  • Like
Reactions: allym101, Stick, TooConscious and 1 other person
T

TooConscious

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2020
1,152
I wake up in sheer terror as I only ever have horrible vivid dreams and they seem to knock my confidence and the first twenty minutes of waking is feeling like a kid again as though I'm completely trapped with no possible escape.
I feel like this when I've been sober but I'm a drug addict so when I get a fix I stabilise to my usual personal as I appear here.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Aww..
Reactions: allym101, Huntfish34, Stick and 1 other person

Similar threads

rj3542
Replies
9
Views
487
Suicide Discussion
derpyderpins
derpyderpins
pumpkins334234
Replies
4
Views
244
Suicide Discussion
pumpkins334234
pumpkins334234
wastingpotential
Replies
6
Views
281
Suicide Discussion
wastingpotential
wastingpotential
C
Replies
7
Views
482
Suicide Discussion
eatantz
eatantz
C
Replies
12
Views
277
Suicide Discussion
YandereMikuMistress
YandereMikuMistress