Venting How do you guys deal with loneliness?

[mors vocat]

I've basically been in complete isolation from anyone for the past 7 years. I got no real friends, no family, nothing. I talk to nobody really, and especially nobody about anything I'm going through. Truly the worst expirence in my life so far is how alone I am. So how do you guys try to deal with it? I can't seem to figure it out.

 

[Bunni'sLullaby]

My husband passed via suicide a few months ago. I have dealt with loneliness practically my entire life, but especially lately; it has become a daily factor in a way that is inexpressible. Dealing with loneliness is one of the hardest things to possibly do, particularly as it is human nature to be social in some form or fashion. While finding a place like SS is not necessarily the most desirable, it's important to have somewhere to express it without judgement and with total understanding. It's important to focus on yourself, as well as any interests/hobbies you partake in (as they are healthy to do so, of course). Aside from SS, it may be beneficial to find other online communities (if that is what you are most comfortable/or able). While extremely difficult, it's imperative to learn how to make your mind a place that is comfortable--not necessarily great, by any means; but somewhere in which you can find some sliver of okay-ness. It is better to do things alone rather than not do them at all. Finding peace in loneliness is both terrible yet awakening. As we are both new members, I don't believe I am able to suggest Dm'ing. However, in the meantime, please feel free to express yourself however necessary; holding it in only makes it oh so much worse, in my experience.

 

[mors vocat]

My husband passed via suicide a few months ago. I have dealt with loneliness practically my entire life, but especially lately; it has become a daily factor in a way that is inexpressible. Dealing with loneliness is one of the hardest things to possibly do, particularly as it is human nature to be social in some form or fashion. While finding a place like SS is not necessarily the most desirable, it's important to have somewhere to express it without judgement and with total understanding. It's important to focus on yourself, as well as any interests/hobbies you partake in (as they are healthy to do so, of course). Aside from SS, it may be beneficial to find other online communities (if that is what you are most comfortable/or able). While extremely difficult, it's imperative to learn how to make your mind a place that is comfortable--not necessarily great, by any means; but somewhere in which you can find some sliver of okay-ness. It is better to do things alone rather than not do them at all. Finding peace in loneliness is both terrible yet awakening. As we are both new members, I don't believe I am able to suggest Dm'ing. However, in the meantime, please feel free to express yourself however necessary; holding it in only makes it oh so much worse, in my experience

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's passing. To be honest I've tried, tried many replacements to real human connection through online stuff but it's just not even close to the real thing. I end up feeling more alone and alienated trying to find connection online. Reminds me of how truly alone I am. I don't wanna accept being alone bc I can't do life alone. Been really considering ctb. The past few years but lately especially and most of it comes from how alone I am. I've never really had a real friendship my whole life, never had a real family, never had a significant other. Never expirenced real human connection before and I crave it more than anything. I just want to love and feel loved.

 

[Bunni'sLullaby]

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's passing. To be honest I've tried, tried many replacements to real human connection through online stuff but it's just not even close to the real thing. I end up feeling more alone and alienated trying to find connection online. Reminds me of how truly alone I am. I don't wanna accept being alone bc I can't do life alone. Been really considering ctb. The past few years but lately especially and most of it comes from how alone I am. I've never really had a real friendship my whole life, never had a real family, never had a significant other. Never expirenced real human connection before and I crave it more than anything. I just want to love and feel loved.

@mors vocat
I entirely understand. Though I remember how my husband's touch made me feel or how his skin felt in my dreams, I do not truly remember how human touch feels anymore outside of an occasional, quick hug. CBT involves a lot of stigma, not only for the person who chooses to do but for those left behind. I have been trying to stay busy, look into resources available (e.g., online sources such as SS), but I agree it is not the same as the physical/emotional connection we genetically crave. I'm so sorry that you feel as you do, as I truly understand where you are coming from. It can be very hard to find something that can fill that hole. It can be very hard to not ask yourself, "Is this it?" or "Am I going to go out alone?" While it feels hypocritical to say (considering my own emotions lately), It is important to recognize that most suicidal feelings are fleeting in the long-term (despite how it may feel). I have likewise been considering CTB extensively, moreso than I can admit to anyone other than those here. While I do not know what you may have experienced in your life, I am sure it feels very overwhelming and lonely at times. But, I hope you recognize the strength it has taken to come this far. As not only someone considering CBT themselves but as somehow who has been on the other side of the coin as a suicide loss survivor; you are more valuable than you believe--even if you may feel alone.

 

[passivethought121]

By wanting to CTB. If I was going to live long, being forever single and having no two sided friendships would really upset me. But it doesnt. I have priorities to focus on. I need to destroy myself (to my satisfaction) or CTB before I can focus on connection. People just get in the way, and that's more people who will be affected.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I've been without any friends or a partner for over 10 years now and I have almost zero contact with my family anymore.
I began to isolate because I grew sick and tired of peoples nasty attitudes towards my depression.
It took a while getting used to being alone but I wouldn't have it any other way now.
People stress me out and cause too much unnecessary suffering.

 

[Bunni'sLullaby]

@WAITING TO DIE
I commend you for your ability of self-preservation in the face of loneliness. I feel after some time, it becomes secondary nature of sorts. I have had to come to practically 0 contact with my late husband's family aside from one of his sisters due to the fact they blamed me for his death behind my back. Yielding to sensations of isolation and withdrawal can become a normal aspect of depression, various forms of anxiety, social disappointment, and so on. Through the stigma of being a survivor and as someone considering CBT, I could see why avoiding people (or certain people) could become a more considerable option. I do not have the energy for additional drama, stress, etc.; I would rather feel as though I am by myself then surround myself with people who are only around because they are worried I'll do something--where were you prior to?

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

@WAITING TO DIE
I commend you for your ability of self-preservation in the face of loneliness. I feel after some time, it becomes secondary nature of sorts. I have had to come to practically 0 contact with my late husband's family aside from one of his sisters due to the fact they blamed me for his death behind my back. Yielding to sensations of isolation and withdrawal can become a normal aspect of depression, various forms of anxiety, social disappointment, and so on. Through the stigma of being a survivor and as someone considering CBT, I could see why avoiding people (or certain people) could become a more considerable option. I do not have the energy for additional drama, stress, etc.; I would rather feel as though I am by myself then surround myself with people who are only around because they are worried I'll do something--where were you prior to?

So sorry your Husbands family have been so cruel to you.
Maybe you would be better off without people, even for a couple of weeks to give yourself a break from all the drama.
You may even find that you are better off alone too.
Nowadays I view isolation as an act of self - care.

 

[Bunni'sLullaby]

So sorry your Husbands family have been so cruel to you.
Maybe you would be better off without people, even for a couple of weeks to give yourself a break from all the drama.
You may even find that you are better off alone too.
Nowadays I view isolation as an act of self - care.

@WAITING TO DIE
Honestly? They haven't checked on me; they never offered/followed through with helping with his funeral costs/bringing him home/his clothing/his tombstone/etc., so f*** them. Why return the favor when it is not reciprocated? I'm sick and tired of one-way streets; why waste your breathe and time with people who only seem to want something from you without doing the same in return? I appreciate your kind words. I take kindness in any form lately; it is the only reminder there is a sake, a sense, of humanity left in the world. I agree that avoiding those that cause nothing but more stress, anger, frustration. or disappointment could be viewed as self-care, even if it is lonely. As I said before, I would rather be alone than feel alone. While I cannot bear the idea of dying alone, I think I would rather do so than lie to myself or surround myself with those who only "care" because they feel compelled to do so. I hope you find some few seconds to feel somewhat at "peace," even if you are in your own company. I feel a mix of committing CBT in the same way my husband did or in a less violent method; if the method becomes more readily available, I cannot say reliably that I wouldn't take the opportunity.

 

[savoytruffle]

ive gotten used to it by now. whenever something bad or good happens to me i just write it down in a journal because ive got nobody to talk to. it's the touch starvation i can't deal with that well, like if someone touches me on the shoulder on the bus so i get out of the way, it feels like a hot brand. god i don't know, it doesn't matter

 

[King Ashoka]

I binge watch movies and series to kill time and loneliness.

 

[TorturedEnough]

I'm more lonely around people than not so I just simply enjoy the solitude while doing something I like to get through the day.

 

[Kit1]

It is heartbreakingly sad to read about and try to understand and appreciate the depth of loneliness that everyone who has written on this thread it going through.

I come from quite a different place. I live with my husband and children and am in touch with some members of my birth family (very strained relationships) and have some friends (who really fo not understand me). I also work with people - again no one knows me. I feel lonely every single day, every single minute. No one really knows the person who grew up with abuse, does not even realise that I dissociate regularly, who have so much trauma that I am masking my feelings and my life when I am with anyone else and whose numbers on the planet are numbered and I don't even know the date. It is a grind loneliness - and feelings of betrayal and disloyalty play on my mind as well as I literally have always led a double life - the real me and the person created to survive in this world. What does help though is all the voluntary work I do.

Would you consider volunteering?

 

[Abandoned Character]

I just want to love and feel loved

I feel your pain. Loneliness kills. Are there ways you think you could meet people if you really wanted to try to alleviate even an iota of the loneliness? I find that when I am in my dark thoughts, even just an evening around others sharing the same activity helps.

 

[numbed one]

I've basically been in complete isolation from anyone for the past 7 years. I got no real friends, no family, nothing. I talk to nobody really, and especially nobody about anything I'm going through. Truly the worst expirence in my life so far is how alone I am. So how do you guys try to deal with it? I can't seem to figure it out.

I'm living with m'y parents but i feel Always alone Bécause of schizophrénia and i play vidéo game for thé Time till i can find a way to get sn or nembutal

 

[アホペンギン]

I don't deal with loneliness, I let the guilt of being incapable of befriending people due to the circumstances in my life eat me up alive. On rare occasions I manage to dissociate which numbs the mental anguish of being alone but both are equally as bad, I wish I was normal.

 

[mywayout]

i wait. eventually someone would come and talk. it would feel hopeful. the conversation would end. i would see that it's just a cycle. i go back to waiting, but with a little more apathy.

life likes to oscillate between bearable and unbearable.