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Ezrazzle

Ezrazzle

Member
Jul 16, 2025
8
I've been suicidal for over a decade now but things have happened recently that have made things irreparably worse. It all happened at the worst possible time in my year too when I'm most burnt out and exhausted and my mother, my biggest support pillar, is gone for another 2 weeks. I'm really struggling without her but can't even ctb until she gets back because I need her to take care of my cats. I could probably try the day she returns, that would be good timing for her to get them.

I've taken 2 days off work this last week just to sleep all day. The thought of returning to work again next week fills me with dread. I need to keep powering through a bit longer but I'm so tired. I just need to get through 2 more weeks.

How do you all continue to keep working and living your daily life whenever you feel like this?
 
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eupdplishlp

eupdplishlp

Please share with me what you are bearing
Jul 15, 2025
120
Hi, I also have 2 cats. for me my neighbor took care of them it did make a big difference peace wise. the day she gets back is an option but have you considered a last meal with her at all?
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,357
I don't feel like I can CTB till my Dad goes first, so I know I'm stuck here for an unknown amount of time. So, I suppose I go about life the way other people do. I just do what I have to, to ensure I don't become homeless or penniless. I do sympathise though. Some days are so hard.

I rely on distraction a whole lot. I work from home so, I work all day pretty much with stuff on in the background to occupy my mind.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,085
I just plan my CTB, get on SaSu whenever I feel like it, and just try to maintain a facade of trying to better my own living situation (for obvious reasons). I still ultimately want to CTB, but I must be shrewd about how I would go about it to avoid failure.
 
pancakelover20

pancakelover20

going to sleep
Jul 16, 2025
5
at night i write a list of the bare minimum things i have to do for the next day then i get up and rush to do the few things before my mind starts degrading me too much.(personally i get progressively lower throughout the day) once i get everything done i typically just sleep for the rest of the day. the list helps everything not to be so overwhelming for me. and honestly the consistency of my simple tasks on a notepad are sometimes all i feel like i can rely on when my world is falling apart and im emotionally in the gutter.

i don't enjoy much of anything else except for sometimes speaking to the few people i have in my life. ill live list to list and conversation to conversation until i ctb coming up here.
 
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Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,607
To get through a day I do not think about anything unless it is necessary, so on an average day my brain is set to autonomous mode - without any interesting thoughts. It is only after the important tasks have been completed that I use my free to time to ruminate, and ideate about anything; an incident that happened earlier that same day, or suicide, or a video game that I want to play, or anything else.

Oftentimes I just glide through a day... though there are exceptions - especially in the coming weeks.
 
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