Help How do you find a reason?

[cloudnone]

How do you find a reason to go on?

I have a hobby. I have a job that pays well. I have a house. By all accounts, life is going well.

But I just can't find a reason to keep going. How do you find that? What is it that somehow keeps you going? I don't want to be in a constant state of putting CTB off. I want to beat it but I just don't think I can. I don't have a compelling reason to keep going. How do you find that? Mentally and physically I'm at my limits. I'm honestly THIS close to just doing it.

Help.

 

[Fri fri]

Finding a reason to live is very difficult, And it doesn't have to be, I also don't want to die, but... The more I go on the more I see things that make me say "wow I could not have lived this moment", this doesn't give me any reason to live, But it gives me a reason not to die.
to find a reason to live there is all life... it's difficult to understand the meaning of a film before the ending... I don't want to preclude myself from understanding it ... For difficulties it is a different thing, it is much more difficult to take them like this, Even I can't, because some don't just take away the reasons to live, they also give you reasons to die... I know I can get to feel good and I don't want something over which I have no control to stop me... some things would take away anyone's will to live, so you shouldn't think you have something wrong... You must first find the strength to want to feel good... So, this is the only thing that pushes me not to die... I hope you find a reason to keep going (If that's what you really want), and I hope I have been of some help, I wish you the best <3

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, the things you mentioned are helping me to keep on going but unfortunately, they won't do it until I'm 80.

I will always be suicidal, it's just part of me, and I'm sure I'll ctb before my 40s, no matter how but I really will.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Technically I know what my reason for living is but now that I know it's the only thing that could possibly save me, it makes the fact that I'll never realistically be able to obtain it that much more painful.

 

[logan]

The biggest motivation is the children. But that's also what makes it so difficult.

 

[HelloHell]

I would also like to know please

 

[motel rooms]

I have a hobby. I have a job that pays well. I have a house. By all accounts, life is going well.

But I just can't find a reason to keep going. How do you find that?

Try & make a real-life connection with other people who are suffering. If you're traumatized & have trust issues, give volunteering for a charity a chance

 

[western_heart]

For me it's other people, I don't want to hurt my family and my SO specifically is helping me in recovery. She's convinced me I can get better.

I wouldn't bother trying to live if I had no one in my life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish I knew the answer to this really. There is nothing that makes me want to stay here but ctb is hard to do. To cope, I try to do small things such as going for a little walk and I have my cat. Nothing will ever change how I am. Life is just waiting around to die really. I guess trying different things could be a good way to deal with this.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Maybe try starting with your reason to CTB. Is it because you don't have a reason to live, thus no reason to live -> there exists a reason to die?

It's ok to live for hedonism, everyone wants to live a happy and enjoyable life even if they don't admit to it. Do you want to indulge in anything? Do you want to someday say "fuck it" to the world and do whatever the hell you want? Do you like rocking out at concerts or going to crazy parties? Think about the little things that feel good to do, what makes you happy. Your reason could be "i want to be able to quit and curse out my boss on my way out" or "I want to go on a roadtrip with no destination in mind" or whatever else you think of.

If you have a bad case of anhedonia this might be a little tough, so you'll have to teach yourself to enjoy the little things again, as others have recommended. Also try to think about what you want to do, experience and accomplish. You said a lot of "I have"s but there's no mention of any goals. Do you have any in mind? Maybe moving onto a new company or role? Starting a family, getting more skilled at your hobby?

ultimately it depends on what makes CTB so appealing in the first place. If you have a big problem in your life that you can't get rid of, it's more difficult to find hope. In those cases it's good to start with acceptance and self-love. Focus on what's within your control and on setting reasonable goals.

 

[luten]

You dont need a reason.

I see it this way, when an elephant wakes up in the morning, the elephant doesn't look for reasons to get out of bed, no the elephant just do what the elephant needs to do in order to stay alive, so with every other animal. Humans have a hard time living their lives, because we overthink life.


I am crippled, and have a very bleak future ahead of me, therefore I am not going to look for reasons, I just do what I need to do, untill I can't do it any longer.

 

[cloudnone]

Maybe try starting with your reason to CTB. Is it because you don't have a reason to live, thus no reason to live -> there exists a reason to die?

It's ok to live for hedonism, everyone wants to live a happy and enjoyable life even if they don't admit to it. Do you want to indulge in anything? Do you want to someday say "fuck it" to the world and do whatever the hell you want? Do you like rocking out at concerts or going to crazy parties? Think about the little things that feel good to do, what makes you happy. Your reason could be "i want to be able to quit and curse out my boss on my way out" or "I want to go on a roadtrip with no destination in mind" or whatever else you think of.

If you have a bad case of anhedonia this might be a little tough, so you'll have to teach yourself to enjoy the little things again, as others have recommended. Also try to think about what you want to do, experience and accomplish. You said a lot of "I have"s but there's no mention of any goals. Do you have any in mind? Maybe moving onto a new company or role? Starting a family, getting more skilled at your hobby?

ultimately it depends on what makes CTB so appealing in the first place. If you have a big problem in your life that you can't get rid of, it's more difficult to find hope. In those cases it's good to start with acceptance and self-love. Focus on what's within your control and on setting reasonable goals.

My reason? I guess, in all reality, it's a multitude of things. I'm constantly in pain, I'm 100% alone, I've been miserable for years, and the world would honestly just probably be a better place without me.

I don't really want to indulge in anything. I don't like partying, and road trips, yeah they're nice, but I just don't have anything that gives me that spark. There's nothing that really feels good to do.

I have achieved every goal I've had. I have a good position in a good company, I'm one of the absolute best at my hobby and I guess I'd like someone to love, like a wife, but no kids I don't think. I just got out of a relationship that lasted almost four years and I felt the same way as I do now while I was in it.

I can't accept or love myself and I don't think I'll ever be able to. That's a big part of why CTB is so appealing. The world would be better without me. I don't know what to goal for anymore. My ultimate goal I guess would be to be happy for once, but I just don't know how.

You dont need a reason.

I see it this way, when an elephant wakes up in the morning, the elephant doesn't look for reasons to get out of bed, no the elephant just do what the elephant needs to do in order to stay alive, so with every other animal. Humans have a hard time living their lives, because we overthink life.


I am crippled, and have a very bleak future ahead of me, therefore I am not going to look for reasons, I just do what I need to do, untill I can't do it any longer.

Just doing what I need to do isn't okay. I want to die, clearly something needs to change no?

 

[motel rooms]

I have achieved every goal I've had. I have a good position in a good company, I'm one of the absolute best at my hobby

I can't accept or love myself and I don't think I'll ever be able to. That's a big part of why CTB is so appealing. The world would be better without me. I don't know what to goal for anymore. My ultimate goal I guess would be to be happy for once, but I just don't know how.

You'll never be happy if you don't accept yourself. Why do you hate yourself? Get a therapist, it's obvious you can afford a good one.

 

[luten]

My reason? I guess, in all reality, it's a multitude of things. I'm constantly in pain, I'm 100% alone, I've been miserable for years, and the world would honestly just probably be a better place without me.

I don't really want to indulge in anything. I don't like partying, and road trips, yeah they're nice, but I just don't have anything that gives me that spark. There's nothing that really feels good to do.

I have achieved every goal I've had. I have a good position in a good company, I'm one of the absolute best at my hobby and I guess I'd like someone to love, like a wife, but no kids I don't think. I just got out of a relationship that lasted almost four years and I felt the same way as I do now while I was in it.

I can't accept or love myself and I don't think I'll ever be able to. That's a big part of why CTB is so appealing. The world would be better without me. I don't know what to goal for anymore. My ultimate goal I guess would be to be happy for once, but I just don't know how.




Just doing what I need to do isn't okay. I want to die, clearly something needs to change no?

i have been in that position myself, hundreds of times. I did not see any future for me, as everything is broken, my body, my mind, I lost everything. There is no magic-wound when it comes to these things. All I can do is to remind myself that I have been in this situation for 38 years. I had good-times in my life, while having the same problems that I have today. I have to find ways to enjoy my life while in pain. The pain will not go away.

If you tell me that you dont want to live, all I can say is that many people feel that way at some point of their lives. Try to understand your problem, then have empathy for yourself.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

My reason? I guess, in all reality, it's a multitude of things. I'm constantly in pain, I'm 100% alone, I've been miserable for years, and the world would honestly just probably be a better place without me.

I don't really want to indulge in anything. I don't like partying, and road trips, yeah they're nice, but I just don't have anything that gives me that spark. There's nothing that really feels good to do.

I have achieved every goal I've had. I have a good position in a good company, I'm one of the absolute best at my hobby and I guess I'd like someone to love, like a wife, but no kids I don't think. I just got out of a relationship that lasted almost four years and I felt the same way as I do now while I was in it.

I can't accept or love myself and I don't think I'll ever be able to. That's a big part of why CTB is so appealing. The world would be better without me. I don't know what to goal for anymore. My ultimate goal I guess would be to be happy for once, but I just don't know how.

Not enjoying anything/feeling no joy from things that should spark joy (and may have made you happy in the past), that sounds like textbook anhedonia. Have you ever taken medication for depression? Sometimes when things get that bad, it's not that you aren't trying enough or that somethings wrong with you, your brain might need some help functioning.

How would the world be better without you? Objectively unless you're a vicious criminal or you go out of your way to make everyone's day as shitty as possible, you have an overall neutral or positive effect on others. Is someone telling you that they'd be better off without you? Then get away from them and be happy on your own, it's not your responsibility to make people happy, especially since you're an adult who likely hangs out with other adults. Let them be happy on their own and you can be happy not having to worry about catering to someone you're not responsible for.

you keep mentioning finding someone to love, that sounds like something you are striving for even a little. do you have friends, do you go out on dates? Considering you've just left a relationship, part of the struggle could be that you aren't used to being this alone, or you tend to have strained relationships with others (and thus being alone is too familiar for you). Switch up the pace, you have nothing to lose considering you've done everything you wanted to do. Quit your job and take some time to think and focus on your treatment. If your life is as great as you're making it sound, I really wonder if that would even be a risk for you. Think about it, if you gave everything up now what would you do? Why? And if you don't want to let it go, then what is the reason you want to hold onto it?