How do you feel about your body, and other specific physical traits?

[bieatmania]

I am largely disconnected from my own body because of the time I spend online and how much I am more attached to my online persona than my real life self.
I can hardly recognize my own face in mirror, I don't think they look too bad to make me feel bad. I hardly find myself in situation where my looks would affect the outcome. and it feels like skillcheck where you roll dice to determine the outcome since I am addicted to video game like disco elysium.

I used to have body dysmorphia but then my face and body developed as I've gone through process of puberty, I am glad to have my chin not recessed and that might offend people who has recessed chins. My nose are large due to the amount of time I picked my nose as child, I had OCD symptom where I would constantly "clean" inside of my nose by picking it with my finger. that's all I can say about it.

 

[JobuLio111m]

I don't mind how other people see me, since their values seem too alien to affect me. but I do feel guilt every time i see my body in the mirror because im reminded it looks how it looks due to the fact that im eating more than ive earned.
To connect this to "other traits", it reminds me how much ive gotten purely from being born into (white-majority) America. As opposed to people on the other side of the world who actually work for a better world instead of aspiring to. Malnourished and underweight despite the worlds of effort they've put into the universe. I dont know if i want to be skinny. just whatever BMI gives me the smallest appetite.

 

[Anne Alias]

Sometimes I feel like I look like an oaf. Full on medieval village idiot somewhere in Poland type oaf. It doesn't really last more than 20 minutes but hey its.. A thing I think sometimes! I don't even look like an oaf, I have so many non-oaf insecurities but that's the one that just really gets me every so often. (Also could be a dysphoria thing but who the tf knows)

Also a whole bunch of other stuff with not feeling human or whatever but this is the funny one sooo

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

I disliked my broken body even as a child and over time I've really just grown to hate it. Much of it is my fault, because I haven't taken care of myself and just let things deteriorate. Some of it is just terrible luck and bad genes.

 

[cme-dme]

I hate virtually everything about myself thanks to gender dysphoria. I have a very masculine body and I despise it.

 

[tartè]

My entire face. Idk how people IRL find me attractive lol.

 

[x3la]

It's male, which is why i dont like it. Most of my effort i put in at the gym is trying to get a flatter stomach and a larger ass, which is going....well
I spend way too much time each week shaving my legs and arms, cause i can't stand most of the hair on my body.

joking(?) aside, out of all the traits i inherited from my dad, i didn't get his blue eyes, which would have been nice.

 

[Ariii]

Physically, I hate how I'm not skinny despite being 107 lb (5'0 yall), I hate my stomach, arms, waist, and legs. I hate how board my shoulders are. I hate the scars on my legs. I hate how fat my fingers are and how flat I am. I hate how fat and round my face, cheeks, and chin are. I hate the fact that my eyes are small and wide apart, my lips are droopy, and that my nose is wide. I hate how massive my forehead is and the fact that I have a receding and clefted chin and that I have attached earlobes. I hate the hyperpigmentation around my mouth that looks like a mustache and around my eyes that make my skin look dirty. I hate how my eyelids are uneven, how one side of the mouth is bigger than the other, and how one side of my face is wider than the other. I hate that my eyebrows are nonexistent, my lashes can barely hold a curl, and my high hairline that makes it look like its receding. I hate how tan I am and the fact that I have an olive skin tone, I hate that my arms and face are significantly darker than my torso. I hate that I have zero waist definition and my body only looks decent in one specific shirt and jeans. I hate how my hair is insanely damaged at the ends, but it's too much of a security blanket for me to want to chop it off. I hate that my front strands are significantly shorter than the rest so its hard to put it into a braid. I hate my speech impediment that makes it hard for me to say my own name and makes it hard for people to understand me and makes people think I have an accent. Etc etc etc

 

[taylorj]

My illness and the meds to treat it have taken my hair, ruined my skin. I have scars everywhere as a reminder. Wrecked my vision, my teeth are a mess because of the drugs and I'm constantly bloated. I feel unrecognizable, and while it used to matter, I don't care anymore. I just wish I didn't have to go out and work/socialize in a world where all of those things matter so much.

If you don't mind me asking what drugs cause these kind of side effects? I'm genuinely asking because I can relate to most of those symptoms and I've been on Subutex for like 9 years although I believe my symptoms are due to something else....I at times wonder if the opioids make things worse.
Btw, I'm sorry you went through that. It sucks when you start out semi normal and then watch your appearance slowly deteriorate. I too feel unrecognizable daily and I miss my old self....even though I didn't much care for my old self and I was still highly insecure, I would give anything to go back to dealing with my old flaws vs my new ones which are 100x worse.

 

[Defenestrator]

I hate my physical appearance. I try not to think about it and wish other people didn't have to see me. I hate my side profile, not just one thing just the whole thing.
I'm also getting older (late 30s) so there's that too.

 

[d3ad]

My body is very beautiful and I am deeply in love with it, my face too. However, physical appearance is not the most important thing. There is so much more to me than that.

 

[LostLily]

I hate how I look, I hate my height, and I hate how fragile my body is and how I'm always tired.

 

[NSA]

I hate my voice too. It'd be ok if it sounded how it does inside my head but when I hear it in recordings it makes me want to never speak again. Not terribly practical unfortunately.

It sounds somehow both deep and not, and my inflection is always very off which too makes me sound like I'm always angry. I've even made people cry by accident when I do get angry, even if it's not with them.

 

[tragicallytired]

If you don't mind me asking what drugs cause these kind of side effects? I'm genuinely asking because I can relate to most of those symptoms and I've been on Subutex for like 9 years although I believe my symptoms are due to something else....I at times wonder if the opioids make things worse.
Btw, I'm sorry you went through that. It sucks when you start out semi normal and then watch your appearance slowly deteriorate. I too feel unrecognizable daily and I miss my old self....even though I didn't much care for my old self and I was still highly insecure, I would give anything to go back to dealing with my old flaws vs my new ones which are 100x worse.

I don't mind. I have stage 4 breast cancer. I was never early stage and by the time I found out, it had already metastasized to my lungs, lymph nodes, and bones. I was on chemotherapy for 9 months. Now I'm on a therapy called phesgo every three weeks for the rest of my life or until I need more chemo. Then I had to have my ovaries removed last month. I now take an Aromase inhibitor called exemestane, and that stops estrogen from developing in my body. im also on effexor.

I've been on opioids for the pain (mainly oxycodone) and I stopped because they made things worse. I don't feel relief, I had more GI issues, and I just feel too out of it to care if that makes sense.

I'm so sorry you can relate to this, and I hope you get some answers.

 

[taylorj]

I don't mind. I have stage 4 breast cancer. I was never early stage and by the time I found out, it had already metastasized to my lungs, lymph nodes, and bones. I was on chemotherapy for 9 months. Now I'm on a therapy called phesgo every three weeks for the rest of my life or until I need more chemo. Then I had to have my ovaries removed last month. I now take an Aromase inhibitor called exemestane, and that stops estrogen from developing in my body. im also on effexor.

I've been on opioids for the pain (mainly oxycodone) and I stopped because they made things worse. I don't feel relief, I had more GI issues, and I just feel too out of it to care if that makes sense.

I'm so sorry you can relate to this, and I hope you get some answers.

Gosh I'm so sorry...with history like that it's totally understandable why you feel the way you feel and why you joined this community. That makes a lot of sense though. Estrogen is the beauty hormone after all and having it's production blocked or reduced is known to lead to many of the symptoms were talking about. Breast cancer runs in my family on my mother's side and my grandmother has to take estrogen blockers indefinitely so I know what that can do long term esp with hair shedding. As if having cancer isn't enough....being a woman and having to live with those effects on your appearance is debilitating. My heart truly goes out to you. I haven't been through chemo but I know what it feels like to not feel attractive anymore and deal with constant bloating, tooth decay you can't even keep up with no matter how much you brush floss go to the dentist etc, hair loss, skin turning to skin, losing muscle mass, the list just goes on. I'm here if you ever want to talk Wishing the best for the both of us. I believe a lot of things are reversible. Whether that's naive or not...I don't know but I'm still fighting this fight and having hope for the future keeps me here a little longer. I'll be here til my hope runs out I guess.

 

[voidangel]

i wish it was possible to exist without a body. it gets in the way of everything

 

[tragicallytired]

Gosh I'm so sorry...with history like that it's totally understandable why you feel the way you feel and why you joined this community. That makes a lot of sense though. Estrogen is the beauty hormone after all and having it's production blocked or reduced is known to lead to many of the symptoms were talking about. Breast cancer runs in my family on my mother's side and my grandmother has to take estrogen blockers indefinitely so I know what that can do long term esp with hair shedding. As if having cancer isn't enough....being a woman and having to live with those effects on your appearance is debilitating. My heart truly goes out to you. I haven't been through chemo but I know what it feels like to not feel attractive anymore and deal with constant bloating, tooth decay you can't even keep up with no matter how much you brush floss go to the dentist etc, hair loss, skin turning to skin, losing muscle mass, the list just goes on. I'm here if you ever want to talk Wishing the best for the both of us. I believe a lot of things are reversible. Whether that's naive or not...I don't know but I'm still fighting this fight and having hope for the future keeps me here a little longer. I'll be here til my hope runs out I guess.

Thank you! Sometimes it just feels good to be heard, and I thank you for hearing me. I here to chat with you as well. It is so hard to look in the mirror and see a stranger…that is how I feel most days. Having hope is everything, and I'm wishing the best for you.

 

[SVEN]

It hurts ... alot.

 

[always_sad]

I don't like my body type I was skinnyfat even at very underweight BMIs. My current BMI is 18 and I look chubby. I want to be skeletal, it's my biggest dream.

 

[maneose]

my first insecurity was my voice, i have a speech impediment and abnormally loud voice, so it makes a lot of sense as to why. i actually didn't realize i had a loud voice until i was told to lower my voice during lunch, when everyone's voice was loud, but apparently mine was really loud. i was just talking to friends but ever since then people have talked about how loud i speak and i really don't know how to lower it, it's just my normal speaking volume, especially when excited or happy, so it's pretty disheartening. same with my impediment, it made me realize that sometimes i just become completely unintelligible at points when talking. it double sucks when my friends will correct me on words constantly, like if you understand what i mean why correct me? it feels like they think i don't know what i mean to say, when i do! but the words don't come out properly! it makes me feel super stupid.
but my second insecurity is my intelligence, so… that makes sense. it was mostly fueled by my mom, since she would berate me and make me cry when i didn't understand math. it progressed and eventually i just made my personality's about being dumb, which in hindsight makes sense why so many of my friends seem to lack respect for me. i preformed okay in school, but older i got the more i struggled and i think i only passed with decent grades because our school system is one of the lowest in the country. i really struggled junior and senior year since i started talking harder science and math classes. i took pre-algebra and struggled hard. i was constantly having breakdowns about it and cried when getting help because i still didn't understand it, even when this was considered easy for others. i'm in college right now and barely keeping up, i have c's and maybe 1 b, education is just so overwhelming and discouraging when you've thought since you were a kid that you're just plain stupid.
for my body, i'm half mexican and i constantly feel embarrassed due to the huge amount of hair me. it's hard to feel cute and feminine when i look at my body covered in dark hair. i love being mixed, trust me but, it is a struggle.
honorable mentions: my thighs (too fat!), my face(too square), my wrinkles on my fingers, my hair (too thick.. to hard to take care of, i really wish i was born with straight hair), my stomach(i have chronic stomach issues that causes me to become extremely constipated, so much that my flat stomach extends to where i look 2 months pregnant)