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kitia973

kitia973

我亦定山河
Dec 24, 2024
62
How do you feel about your school/work? Do you think it's fulfilling?

I don't go to the best school, but sometimes it's the only place to connect with new people in real life.
 
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Greyhawk

Greyhawk

Member
Jan 3, 2025
32
I found it really fulfilling during high school because I made a lot of new friends and got good grades once I started putting in some work. And not just because of grades, I was genuinely interested in psychology, biology, math and some topics in history but then bipolar kind of happened.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
491
School has been one of the worst experiences in my life and has destroyed tolerance for mental pain. it was boring, stressful and torturous with having to deal with the large amount of work everyday. I was so scared of having to go there and not getting a teacher angry or disappointed in me. It didn't fulfill anything in me, I just wanted it to end and stay safe at home forever at the time.

College was better in I got to do work I was interested in (being game development) which made it much easier for my autistic brain to handle but I would have rather not gone through it as I didn't learn much from as I was already skilled in the work we did and just wanted to use that skill on my own at home. I was able to get through it until I got in a relationship there which ended quite shortly and broke me as I never even had a proper friend until then. I dropped out on the second year.

I now feel empty with most things I do now. I know I wouldn't be able to handle any sort of work cus of how mentally weak I am. I try to develop more on the games I am making but I work on it too much to fill the void and that ends up back firing on me as I burn out. I feel broken and pathetic compared to how most humans can handle work. Thankful my parents are fine with me being not able to get a job (but I kinda wish they did so they are annoyed with me and kick me out so I can ctb as now I am trapped home by them.)
 
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kitia973

kitia973

我亦定山河
Dec 24, 2024
62
I found it really fulfilling during high school because I made a lot of new friends and got good grades once I started putting in some work. And not just because of grades, I was genuinely interested in psychology, biology, math and some topics in history but then bipolar kind of happened.
I'm glad to her that you had fun with your studies! Getting good grades can be rewarding when you feel like you're enjoying the material. My school doesn't really offer advanced material in their courses. I was geniunely interested in human anatomy and vivisection, but my bio class never discusses anything beyond the syllabus and we had to spend 6 hours of homework a week on photosynthesis. I never got why would my school made us complete a ridiculous amount of repetitive work over the simplest process. Made me hate plants to this day.
School has been one of the worst experiences in my life and has destroyed tolerance for mental pain. it was boring, stressful and torturous with having to deal with the large amount of work everyday. I was so scared of having to go there and not getting a teacher angry or disappointed in me. It didn't fulfill anything in me, I just wanted it to end and stay safe at home forever at the time.

College was better in I got to do work I was interested in (being game development) which made it much easier for my autistic brain to handle but I would have rather not gone through it as I didn't learn much from as I was already skilled in the work we did and just wanted to use that skill on my own at home. I was able to get through it until I got in a relationship there which ended quite shortly and broke me as I never even had a proper friend until then. I dropped out on the second year.

I now feel empty with most things I do now. I know I wouldn't be able to handle any sort of work cus of how mentally weak I am. I try to develop more on the games I am making but I work on it too much to fill the void and that ends up back firing on me as I burn out. I feel broken and pathetic compared to how most humans can handle work. Thankful my parents are fine with me being not able to get a job (but I kinda wish they did so they are annoyed with me and kick me out so I can ctb as now I am trapped home by them.)
I can agree, honestly. Most of the stuff taught in high school was completely useless. No one would need to memorize Shakespearean poetry or solve trigonometric equations in their daily lives, or even in their career, depending what they do. Also ridiculous on how they assign a ridiculous amount of work, so that we would pour our time and energy into something that would never be used in later life.
 
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InversedShadow

InversedShadow

Experienced
Dec 28, 2023
215
Im proud I was able to get into my current school, however Im dissapointed in the end by how little practical field work we got, way too much theory..

For socializing with others, well, I definietly thought it would be better, in the end I only talk more or less comfortably to like 2 classmates but they dont talk to me about anything else than school things.
Reaching out to new friends or smth has become a real issue in college, it was hard before but now somehow the barrier became thicker, from time to time I can pick up random convos and I can even say a word what is nice, but not more than that.. maybe I will get better one day!
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
641
weirdly, i love my job. i could see myself doing this for the rest of my life (well i guess that's still true). but i hate my life and my existence, i have no energy to be a real person. i go in every day and dissociate and then go home. if i were another person, a happier person, going in to work wouldn't be so bad. i don't hate my job, i just hate being alive.
 
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LostLily

LostLily

Why do I exist?
Nov 18, 2024
377
I used to be good at school until anxiety and self doubt got the best of me. That followed me in my work life
 
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yousaidimsweet

yousaidimsweet

your star student
Nov 30, 2024
47
i love school! it didn't always used to be that way because i wasn't the best student so i felt inferior to my peers, but once i started to develop good study habits and feel excited/passionate about my studies then i started to find fulfillment in studying. i'm actually on my winter break rn and feel a bit useless because i don't have anything to do throughout my day. i will say though that it was rough starting to find the reason in me to like school but once i found it it was so worth it. if i could keep going back to college just to get multiple degrees i would lol

edit: oh also of course socializing is a big plus for me, though it gets overwhelming because i'm involved on my campus so i see too many people that i know daily lol
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,587
It's pointless just like everything else in life. I never felt any fulfillment from studying even if I got extremely good grades because I had to do this against my will and I just didn't care about any of it. There isn't really anything in life that I voluntarily wanted to do aside from being non existent. All of this is just so pointless
 
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