A very circumstantial thing for me. I've watched seniors die, my younger brother died of congenital heart disease, had friends who OD'd, friends who ctb, and countless animals die in my hands while working in animal rescue. I'm not sad when old people pass naturally. Death is inevitable, the question is what fills that space between birth and death. Is that living being happy, or are they suffering? Which, to the one experiencing life, outweighs the.. joy v suffering? I'm happy for anyone with their life, using their time to find joy, share it with others, to relieve the pain of another. I'm sad, for those suffering unnecessarily, and I'm angry at who or whatever subjects the being to that suffering. When I think of my grandmother's death in a care facility during covid, I'm not sad she passed. She was old, sick, and lived a full life. I'm angry she wasn't comforted. Family wasn't allowed inside, we sat at the window. She wasn't given extra pain meds, she basically starved/thirst to death. The predominant feeling of that memory is anger.
I hope the things, at least some of the things I've done with my time are useful, and reduce the suffering of others. The moment of death, it's hard to look at but being there for the dying is soothing, I promise it is. For pet rats I couldn't adopt out I would spend every moment with, aside from work etc. Ones that were old, diseased, the first option is vet to end the suffering, but sometimes they'd get acute conditions where I wouldn't be able to get them to the vet in time. For the ones that died at home, I'd hold them. They knew my voice, they knew it meant treats or attention or something good. Dying animals panic, more so if going hypoxic. I do have an oxygen machine for addressing that, but I'd hold them gently in my arms in a blanket. I'd hold them on my chest and sing soft nonsense baby talk things, tell them it's going to be okay, to let go, that I love them. Those experiences, I'll tell you the companionship calmed their death panic just as much if not more than the oxygen machine. I can see expressions on their faces, I know how weird that sounds as I'm talking about rats here. As they calmed down I could see a feeling of acceptance wash over their eyes, they'd sign and ideally sigh a few last breaths. The quicker this process, the better, and I can see them let go. Eyes wander off, last breath. There's a muscle spasm in death throes but they generally are unaware, as scary as it look.
So, yeah. The content of life is the question, death itself doesn't scare or sadden me.
