How do you deal with the achy chronic kinda loneliness?

[Kramer]

I can’t die if I feel this way. I have to be stoic and unattached.

 

[NightmareTour]

I just found that when things felt bad enough for long enough, it just turned to numbness and apathy. It's not a quick solution, but it's tried and tested.

 

[Kramer]

I just found that when things felt bad enough for long enough, it just turned to numbness and apathy. It's not a quick solution, but it's tried and tested.

How long does that take and is it constant or does the pain come back?

 

[NightmareTour]

How long does that take and is it constant or does the pain come back?

Can't give an exact time frame, I think it depends on the kind of things you're exposed to. Doesn't really come back though, not much of anything gets through except for the occasional uncomfortable emptiness.

 

[Kramer]

Can't give an exact time frame, I think it depends on the kind of things you're exposed to. Doesn't really come back though, not much of anything gets through except for the occasional uncomfortable emptiness.

One came back that I had forgotten about for 2-3 yrs.

 

[signifying nothing]

Try throwing away some of the stuff you have in your home that's there in expectation of other people being around (more people than there ever actually are).

The key one being kitchenware I find - plates, cutlery, glasses, mugs, etc. - we usually have enough for like 6 people, if not more. I think it subconsciously makes us feel lonely having stuff around that isn't used very often or at all. Same for clothes, furniture, everything really.

 

[Kramer]

Try throwing away some of the stuff you have in your home that's there in expectation of other people being around (more people than there ever actually are).

The key one being kitchenware I find - plates, cutlery, glasses, mugs, etc. - we usually have enough for like 6 people, if not more. I think it subconsciously makes us feel lonely having stuff around that isn't used very often or at all. Same for clothes, furniture, everything really.

I’ve done that a few times this year. It felt good. I don’t know what else to get rid of. Some things I use infrequently but I still need them.

 

[signifying nothing]

I’ve done that a few times this year. It felt good. I don’t know what else to get rid of. Some things I use infrequently but I still need them.

Then its time to test your needs. Things that you think are necessary you might be better off without, in terms of how they are making you feel.

Also if you have things from past relationships/friendships those could be an issue too.

 

[Kramer]

Then its time to test your needs. Things that you think are necessary you might be better off without, in terms of how they are making you feel.

Also if you have things from past relationships/friendships those could be an issue too.

I need my stapler I use once a year.

The second is the reason. So many women I never went for that were a sure thing. It’s eating me up. My illnesses are much worse now and I can’t foresee having any other chances. Back in my 20s, women didn’t care that I was jobless.

 

[signifying nothing]

I need my stapler I use once a year.

The second is the reason. So many women I never went for that were a sure thing. It’s eating me up. My illnesses are much worse now and I can’t foresee having any other chances. Back in my 20s, women didn’t care that I was jobless.

It sounds like you need to take some time to come to terms with how things have changed for you, both from illness and just getting older. The things you used to do with ease that aren't as easy anymore.

I dropped out of the dating game years ago, so I'm not so good on these kinds of things... Its tough, but maybe you might need to find different ways to relate to others than you did before? And it all depends what it is you're looking for in a relationship I guess.

 

[Kramer]

I’m not middle aged yet lol.

 

[signifying nothing]

I’m not middle aged yet lol.

Wasn't suggesting you were, but even 20s vs 30s makes a difference I think. What people are looking for and what is important to them changes a lot. I don't know enough about you or what you're after to be any more help. Just generalising from my own experiences.

 

[Kramer]

Wasn't suggesting you were, but even 20s vs 30s makes a difference I think. What people are looking for and what is important to them changes a lot. I don't know enough about you or what you're after to be any more help. Just generalising from my own experiences.

So 30s mean fun times are over?

 

[signifying nothing]

Hey, my 'fun times' with regards relationships lasted about a month total, so I'm not the person to be talking to about this. I'm just saying these are things you might consider.