How do you deal with a fear of failure?

[GrumpyFrog]

Pretty much what it says on the tin - please share how you deal with the fear of CTB failure. Does it make it more difficult for you to settle on a method? How do you cope?
Cause I am not good at this thing. Kind of looking for advice.

 

[lifeisadream]

Very good question & I also share your fear. My chosen method always used to be partial hanging. But after a ton of reading I realised I'd probably mess it up by doing it in a blind panic. So jumping is favoured method. Guess failure with that is the dreaded SI or even more dreaded do gooders. But, have concluded that if fail the 1st attempt I won't give up. There's always the next attempt or one after that. So have tried to embrace failure because in my head it's better to accept it may happen. Guess my mantra is "failure's not an option".

 

[PressEnterToExit]

Two days ago I made two years here in the place sin then I've been trying every now and then, to find out a way to do it, but all of them seemed to me too terrible with the exception of taking N but this method is difficult N is not easy to get. And a week ago, I heard about a kind of very strong benzo accessible from the darkweb, so I think that will be my method. The risk of failure I guess it's always there, in my case for example maybe the pills are not strong enough at the end, because some of them aren't. But you have to try one method or another and expose yourself to fail I think there is no 100% secure method. But 2000 people die everyday so I think it shouldn't be so difficult. I also think that in case my method fails I will have to try another. Because the only goal is ctb. To be here will be terrible in the future.......

 

[Forever Sleep]

Thinking seriously about SN as my method. I'd definitely make two or three glasses of it in case I vomited. I would follow Stan's guide as closely as possible and I would test the SN (blood test and aquarium test) before using it I think. SN also appeals because it seems like the majority of people who have survived an attempt don't seem to have life changing injuries- although that kind of puzzles me- considering what it does. I guess it depends at which stage you are 'saved'.

Also, think back up plans sound good- although I'm not sure what mine would be. There have been cases where people have hung themselves off of bridges- Like if one doesn't work, the other might.

 

[Jupit3rs]

Everything in my life has been failure, even tho i'm always trying to avoid it. I guess my only way to deal with it is accepting that it can happen, but making everything possible for the probabilities to be low. Choose a day you know you will be alone or make a plan so nobody bothers you. Try to be sober or at least conscious enough so you don't skip any step, make a letter in case sh*t goes wrong... Actually, writing is an excellent tool to reduce anxiety and fear. I'm planning of making a journal days before my last moment, and i'll write about everything I'm doing and feeling until the day. It helps to reorganize your thoughts and you can read it afterwards and find interesting stuff you didn't notice about yourself... maybe you forgot this thing or this situation, and can change it.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Thinking seriously about SN as my method. I'd definitely make two or three glasses of it in case I vomited. I would follow Stan's guide as closely as possible and I would test the SN (blood test and aquarium test) before using it I think. SN also appeals because it seems like the majority of people who have survived an attempt don't seem to have life changing injuries- although that kind of puzzles me- considering what it does. I guess it depends at which stage you are 'saved'.

Also, think back up plans sound good- although I'm not sure what mine would be. There have been cases where people have hung themselves off of bridges- Like if one doesn't work, the other might.

Thank you, it does make sense. I suppose with SN there is a potential for severe consequences, but only if you are "saved" after a while when it already did a lot of damage, and in practice it's either a failure due to vomiting right after ingestion and/or being discovered or changing your mind early - which can pass without serious consequences - or it is a success.

 

[lifeORdeath]

I don't fear ctb failures. When it was bad enough, I just did it because I was in another world it seemed, not in control anymore. I fear failure in life and failing my family, who have done nothing to deserve me failing them. Then that is enough for me to ctb bcuz I can't recover from that.emotionally.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Thank you, it does make sense. I suppose with SN there is a potential for severe consequences, but only if you are "saved" after a while when it already did a lot of damage, and in practice it's either a failure due to vomiting right after ingestion and/or being discovered or changing your mind early - which can pass without serious consequences - or it is a success.

Yeah, it does seem that way. Scary part is- it's all unknowns isn't it? Makes you wonder if any method has a 100% success rate. Suppose going to a clinic- they couldn't get it wrong if they wanted to stay in business- shame it's not available to so many of us. Guess all any of us can do is do as much research as possible for the best possible chance of success.

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly does sound so horrible failing ctb and it's what keeps me here and holds me back. I think that if I had a peaceful and reliable way to leave this life behind then I would have no problem ctb, but unfortunately we live in a world which makes it as difficult as possible for us to be gone.

All that anyone can do, if they fear failing ctb is to do method research on their chosen method, to reduce the chance of this happening and would make them less fearful, I agree with what has been said. There is also the fact that so many have managed to succeed, so of course it's always possible to be gone if that is what the person wishes. I think that eventually many people just get desperate enough to leave or they just know that it's time and this allows them to overcome any fears that prevent them from going through with ctb.

 

[akirat9]

Reattempt with the goal of not failing. Rinse/repeat and it succeeds. Body can only take so much damage.

 

[RUPA]

I just know that THE moment will come that there is only drive/impulse/compulsion overpowering and eradicating everything - fear of whatever, doubts, hesitation, any lingering miscellaneous thoughts, delusions, feelings. just gotta do it and get it over with!
On the one hand, i think there is no such thing as overcoming survival instinct or fear of failure. it is just that your psyche goes into another dimension that leaves no room for fear and doubts.