Venting how do you cope with loneliness?

[bpdmf]

for the majority of my life i have been extremely lonely, never having long lasting friendships or anyone to rely on. it was understandable when i was younger, as i was extremely socially anxious and insecure to the point where i was pretty much mute. but even as i've gained confidence and started coming out of my shell a bit more, i still have no friends. my loneliness is one of the main things pushing me to ctb, if not the main thing. for years ive had to wonder whats wrong with me and why no one ever likes me enough to stick around.

i have a boyfriend, and i spend a lot of time with him, which helps. i really like him, but i know that it wont be permanent and he will leave eventually, probably when he realises the extent of my mental health issues or that he could do better. i also hate having to rely on one person for everything because i know that once he leaves i will have nothing to keep me around anymore.

i guess i was just wondering if anyone in a similar situation has ways of coping with the hopeless feeling that loneliness gives you as i am really struggling with it at the moment. or a way of looking at it in a more positive way.

 

[Overblot]

Whenever loneliness is eating me from the inside I try to connect with new people online. A few days ago I even d/led a dating app just to text with some ppl. It helps for the moment.

 

[bpdmf]

Whenever loneliness is eating me from the inside I try to connect with new people online. A few days ago I even d/led a dating app just to text with some ppl. It helps for the moment.

ive done that in the past. i struggle finding people though, especially people that dont disappear after a conversation or two. cant hurt to try again tho lol

 

[pole]

for me, i had to learn how to embrace the loneliness and grow comfortable with being alone.

loneliness was difficult to deal with for a good chunk of my life. i wanted so badly to have people around that cared enough, who could love me in a way that i couldn't love myself. had really low self-esteem and worth, and i was begging for someone to show me that I'm wrong about myself. i felt so alone.

kept throwing myself out there, involving myself with people, whether it was friend groups, parties, anything. yet, i would continue to feel so alone, even in a room full of people.

being in love with the idea of love, desperate for anyone who was willing to understand and exercise patience with me led to people using me for their own reasons, treating me like a doormat, and leaving me once they got what they wanted out of me.

there's only so much a person can handle. you reach a boiling point where you're fucking done. you understand that it's best to be alone, keep people at a distance, and to not let anyone in.

I learned that loneliness is okay. my self-esteem and worth was tied to how others perceived of me. reached a point where I became exhausted. i don't want to deal with what comes with people, and having to rely on others to fill a void. I recognize being alone is much more healthy and peaceful for me.

i don't know you, but I'm happy that you have a significant other. i get the feeling of still feeling alone regardless of being with someone, it's painful.

i genuinely don't know how to best comfort you about this. i never found a way out of this and instead embraced it. but, just want you to know that you aren't alone.

i hope you end up finding a way out of this hellish feeling, something most fail to escape.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

It's never something I struggle with fortunately. I've spent a lot of time alone. I usually feel more at liberty when I am alone. When I'm around others I feel like an elephant in a garden. I don't want to hurt others and I don't want them to hate me for it. I often feel they are better off without me inflicting myself upon them. That makes it easy. It doesn't help that my parents intentionally raised me to not need people and they did a really good job at it.

Even though I can't relate, I don't think it's a bad thing to need people. I'm sorry that it hurts so much. Everything in life is fleeting. Maybe if the expectation that company needs to last forever to be real or meaningful does harm? If you can find your appetite for connection sated by moments, lines, strangers, smaller things, for what they are, maybe it might alleviate the pain?

Even as I type this I feel it feeble. For who drinks wine drop by drop, when your thirsts demands the bottle?

 

[bpdmf]

for me, i had to learn how to embrace the loneliness and grow comfortable with being alone.

loneliness was difficult to deal with for a good chunk of my life. i wanted so badly to have people around that cared enough, who could love me in a way that i couldn't love myself. had really low self-esteem and worth, and i was begging for someone to show me that I'm wrong about myself. i felt so alone.

kept throwing myself out there, involving myself with people, whether it was friend groups, parties, anything. yet, i would continue to feel so alone, even in a room full of people.

being in love with the idea of love, desperate for anyone who was willing to understand and exercise patience with me led to people using me for their own reasons, treating me like a doormat, and leaving me once they got what they wanted out of me.

there's only so much a person can handle. you reach a boiling point where you're fucking done. you understand that it's best to be alone, keep people at a distance, and to not let anyone in.

I learned that loneliness is okay. my self-esteem and worth was tied to how others perceived of me. reached a point where I became exhausted. i don't want to deal with what comes with people, and having to rely on others to fill a void. I recognize being alone is much more healthy and peaceful for me.

i don't know you, but I'm happy that you have a significant other. i get still feeling alone regardless of being with someone, it's a terrible feeling.

i genuinely don't know how to best comfort you about this. i never found a way out of this and instead embraced it. but, just want you to know that you aren't alone.

i hope you end up finding a way out of this hellish feeling, something most fail to escape.

being used and treated like a doormat is definitely something i relate with. i think the desperation to just have at least one person to fill the void has made me way too trusting and willing to put up with peoples shit in the past. i definitely feel as though ive reached a point where i struggle to let people in. even now in my relationship, the idea of showing the full extent of my feelings is terrifying.

i really appreciate you sharing your experiences with loneliness - it does help to know that im not the only one who feels this way. it truly is a horrible thing and im glad that youve found a way to accept it.

its hard. sometimes when i feel like its finally tolerable it hits me like a ton of bricks that i have no one i can truly rely on and that truly cares. i can only hope that i learn to find peace with it as you have.

It's never something I struggle with fortunately. I've spent a lot of time alone. I usually feel more at liberty when I am alone. When I'm around others I feel like an elephant in a garden. I don't want to hurt others and I don't want them to hate me for it. I often feel they are better off without me inflicting myself upon them. That makes it easy. It doesn't help that my parents intentionally raised me to not need people and they did a really good job at it.

Even though I can't relate, I don't think it's a bad thing to need people. I'm sorry that it hurts so much. Everything in life is fleeting. Maybe if the expectation that company needs to last forever to be real or meaningful does harm? If you can find your appetite for connection sated by moments, lines, strangers, smaller things, for what they are, maybe it might alleviate the pain?

Even as I type this I feel it feeble. For who drinks wine drop by drop, when your thirsts demands the bottle?

god, that is a brilliant skill to have. unfortunately, my bad relationships with my parents have only made me extremely reliant on other people to feel any sort of self worth.

my thirst definitely demands the whole bottle, and more. i tend to put my all into people and never get enough back.

i do appreciate that way of looking at things though. hopefully with time i can learn to cope with only the smaller things. unfortunately, im sure as life goes on and more people disappoint me then that will become more realistic.