Discussion How do you cope with intense self-hatred?

[ZardozOmega]

What do you do when you get these nagging thoughts about how horrible you are crop up?

 

[rt1989526]

I used to drink and smoke pot every day and just knock myself out. It was just a bandaid. I ended up wasting alot of precious time doing that

 

[ZardozOmega]

I used to drink and smoke pot every day and just knock myself out. It was just a bandaid. I ended up wasting alot of precious time doing that

i wish i had some drugs

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I usually just deepen in my resolve to ctb. I wish I had a more positive response for you.

 

[rt1989526]

Ultimately it's pointless. You'll never outrun the reality of your situation. I wish I didn't waste so much time getting fucked up. And I especially wish I didn't turn to medication as well.

 

[ZardozOmega]

Ultimately it's pointless. You'll never outrun the reality of your situation. I wish I didn't waste so much time getting fucked up. And I especially wish I didn't turn to medication as well.

I'm a NEETcel, so I have loads of time.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've just come to accept that I'm evil and therefore need to die. Not sure about your situation but for me I feel like ctb is the only noble thing I can do. Sometimes I try to have fun being evil by taunting my friends with my mere opinions being different from theirs. It's shitty, but accepting that I was shitty sometimes feels so much better than dwelling in it. This probably isn't very healthy though and I do long for the ability to forgive myself as unlikely as that is.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I don't even notice it anymore as anything out of the ordinary. I usually turn up the volume in my mind and pay close attention to what goes through my mind - how horrible, greedy, selfish, bad, wrong, unreasonable, ridiculous, needy, pathetic... I am. If I listen closely enough, maybe I'll actually remember and won't fall for anything contrary to this that gets me in trouble or hurt.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I either cry, drug myself to sleep, or browse the internet. But sometimes I'm just absolutely paralyzed by my thoughts and end up...well, torturing myself. :(

 

[ZardozOmega]

I either cry, drug myself to sleep, or browse the internet. But sometimes I'm just absolutely paralyzed by my thoughts and end up...well, torturing myself. :(

self harm?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

self harm?

Sometimes, yes.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I either self harm, smoke or drink into oblivion. Its only a temporary solution though and can sometimes make my thoughts come back even worse.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I just want to remind everyone in this thread that hate themselves: It's not your fault, no matter how much it feels like it is.

 

[asdasan]

I just want to remind everyone in this thread that hate themselves: It's not your fault, no matter how much it feels like it is.

plot twist: it actually is

thank you for the sentiment either way

 

[XYZ]

I just want to remind everyone in this thread that hate themselves: It's not your fault, no matter how much it feels like it is.

I am torn. On the one hand I believe my destiny is my own responsability and I am the who invited failure and misery to walk through the door of my life. On the other hand, I can't really control my health and I can't know how my life would have turned out, if I had not suffered from physical and mental issues. Perhaps I would have failed less. Perhaps I would have hated myself with less passion.

Anyway I appreciate your words. You are kind. Thx.

 

[wonderworld]

i don't really cope, atm self-harm as a form of self-punishment... turns out (thanks to therapy) i self-punish myself a lot, either by cutting or self-isolating like never leaving my room, turning down the few social outing and deleting social media.

 

[XYZ]

What do you do when you get these nagging thoughts about how horrible you are crop up?

Self harm, meltdowns.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

plot twist: it actually is

thank you for the sentiment either way

Same for me too.

Actions like mine are the kind people don't just forgive and forget. The amount of atonement that feels right in my situation is to prolong my suffering or to grant myself death.

 

[Sarahlynn]

I have no healthy way to deal with this. When I have good periods, I can distract myself with work or gaming, but these keep getting fewer and shorter lasting. For moderately bad, I use weed, alcohol and gaming. For bad periods I try this as well, but will also self harm, cutting, hitting/making bruises, eating and purging. I have tried to use exercise as "self harm", as I hate it and it make my body hurt, but I am too lazy. I think that would have been good to do though, you punish yourself, but at the same time doing something that is good for you.

 

[Sweet Release]

I try to tell myself that it could have happened to anyone and it wasn't my fault.
I wish I could believe that though.

 

[RedDEE]

There is nothing to I can do to even begin to deal with my self-hatred. I simply let it run rampant - there's no controlling it.

 

[Und0n]

I self harm

 

[fastFWD]

drugs; uppers/downers. crystal meth seems to work the best to get through the day and then heroin or Vicodin to get through the nights. I really need to start shooting up steroids again too as they help as well. getting away in a good aesthetic game is nice as well. TERA has nice graphics. my reality sucks...

 

[Meditation guide]

This is an odd question but how does someone hate themself? I have never understood what that meant. I'm not mean or stupid so I don't have a frame of reference for that. And if I was mean or stupid I wouldn't know it or wouldn't care probably.

Usually it seems like people who should hate themself are all about themselves and how great they are.

 

[Sarahlynn]

This is an odd question but how does someone hate themself? I have never understood what that meant. I'm not mean or stupid so I don't have a frame of reference for that. And if I was mean or stupid I wouldn't know it or wouldn't care probably.

Usually it seems like people who should hate themself are all about themselves and how great they are.

I hate myself because I fuck up everything. I do and say so much stupid stuff that effects others. I have disappointed so many people throughout my life. And I never seem to learn.

I get angry and hate myself when I just can't be normal, do the right things, make things work and make people happy.

 

[NotHuman]

This is an odd question but how does someone hate themself? I have never understood what that meant. I'm not mean or stupid so I don't have a frame of reference for that. And if I was mean or stupid I wouldn't know it or wouldn't care probably.

Usually it seems like people who should hate themself are all about themselves and how great they are.

Appearances can be deceiving. There's a psychological term for the type of extreme self-promotional behavior you describe: overcompensation. In short, they are driven to exaggerate extremely positive characteristics by a crippling sense of inferiority at their core. Unable to prop up their fragile ego, they paper over it with embellished accomplishments, excessive praise-seeking, and just a generally inflated sense of their own importance to the world.

I don't believe that such individuals hate themselves any less than those who go to the other extreme of self-pity; they simply seek to escape their feelings of failure by burying them underneath a glowing facade.

 

[catsarecool]

Keeping myself busy by spending time with other people and feeling needed helps me with that. Or masks it more like.
I try drinking but a lot of the times it makes things worse and drives me to self-harm.

 

[Und0n]

I hate myself because I fuck up everything. I do and say so much stupid stuff that effects others. I have disappointed so many people throughout my life. And I never seem to learn.

I get angry and hate myself when I just can't be normal, do the right things, make things work and make people happy.

I feel you.

 

[Meditation guide]

I get angry and hate myself when I just can't be normal, do the right things, make things work and make people happy.

It sounds like you are very hard on yourself for some reason. If you knew someone just like you, would you hate them?

I can't do those things either but I'm ok with that. I know I can't help the way I am. I'm a mess. But I do the best I can. I'm sure you do too.

 

[NotHuman]

I do hate people with similar problems. Watching them struggle and flail against things actual functioning creatures can navigate without a thought makes me cringe and fills me with disgust.

It's the same reaction as pretty much any typical person which is why they'll usually surround themselves with healthy, happy people and choose to keep their distance from the disabled who will linger on the peripheral as outcasts. If they were forced to not only be around such a person 24/7 but be privy to their every thought, I wouldn't doubt that their level of hatred would quickly graduate to searing white. But they aren't, so most will simply shake their heads and shift their focus to something that doesn't make them feel painfully awkward.

For me, there isn't even a thought. It's as reflexive as turning my head and going "Auuuuggh" after lifting the lid on a full, fresh load of garbage as it completely overwhelms my senses.