Discussion How do you cope with having no friends?

[Suizid]

I haven't Connected with a human being in a deep way since many years. I can feel my body getting sick because of it. My left eye is twitching constantly. I have had pain in my heart and stomach for years.

Well everything has 2 Sides. Because i have no one in my life, i'm able to think alot about my life and what i do and don't like to do. I love Bikepacking. Driving to remote locations with a tent and Camping without talking to anyone. I can just be myself. Just me and Nature. After i come back home i feel energized. I feel like a different Person for 1-2 weeks. I used to love watching every movie i could find, but doom scrolling is really getting in the way of that.

 

[TheHolySword]

I don't. I'm trying to die to escape this loneliness

 

[Lycoris]

I don't really have any friends either, just people that I've had history with that I catchup with from time to time as a coping mechanism so I can maintain some sort of barebones support system. I really admire that you still have things to come back to that you can reliably enjoy like nature. Maybe its worth holding onto that as long as you feel you're able to.

 

[ABadPerson]

I don't really, and I just don't care about anything else in life outside a certain type of human connection so I just mentally break down quite often.

 

[vitbar]

I wasn't coping well. Thankfully I made friends with some people.

 

[gunmetalblue11]

I have practically 0 social contact with people IRL or online for months now. Only when necessary, like my psychiatrist appointments where I am forced to go. Honestly i'm surprised with how well I deal, I hardly feel 'lonely' most of the time. I think it only really hits when I see something entertaining, funny or a subject to debate about and I say to myself, i'd love to talk about that with someone. Then i realise there is absolutely nobody. I then move on to something else. Denial is powerful.

 

[darksouls]

people only exploited me, all my social contacts were fake friends, I gave up hope of finding real friends a long time ago

 

[Lycoris]

people only exploited me, all my social contacts were fake friends, I gave up hope of finding real friends a long time ago

Im in the same boat sadly, I think part of it is realizing most people dont have the emotional energy to deal with how inconsistent or unstable I can become. I hate that you need a support system to overcome severe depression but depression also saps away your ability to build one at the same time.

 

[Xielian]

I maladaptive daydream and make up stories with my favorite characters interacting. I kind of live vicariously through them, or I go sit in a café and people watch. But I don't think I'm coping all too well at all and constantly long for the end.

sometimes curious strangers will ask about my wheelchair when I'm out, but I'm too socially awkward and bad at small talk to carry a conversation.

 

[Lycoris]

I maladaptive daydream and make up stories with my favorite characters interacting. I kind of live vicariously through them, or I go sit in a café and people watch. But I don't think I'm coping all too well at all and constantly long for the end.

sometimes curious strangers will ask about my wheelchair when I'm out, but I'm too socially awkward and bad at small talk to carry a conversation.

It kinda hurts how much I relate to this lol... maybe the constant yearning is proof we think we deserved more for ourselves sadly

 

[Suizid]

Im in the same boat sadly, I think part of it is realizing most people dont have the emotional energy to deal with how inconsistent or unstable I can become. I hate that you need a support system to overcome severe depression but depression also saps away your ability to build one at the same time.

That's very true unfortunantly.
The same is true for Social Anxiety.

I always hated the fact that Social Anxiety even exists. In my Opinion it is one of the worst mental illnesses. I like to compare it to having Rabies. You need Water to survive, but when you have rabies your body goes into hydrophobia (fear of water) so you dehydrate and die.

We need people and connection to not go insane or become suicidal. But social anxiety isolates you from everyone. You avoid every social Interaction. You crave love and Attention but fear it like death when it comes your way. And when you have had enough and force yourself to be social it just doesn't work because you have to force yourself. You just can't connect with anyone anymore. You Lose social skills as time Passes. Your body gets ill. Its hell.

I hate Social Anxiety so much and i hate god if He exists for making that a thing.

 

[Lycoris]

That's very true unfortunantly.
The same is true for Social Anxiety.

I always hated the fact that Social Anxiety even exists. In my Opinion it is one of the worst mental illnesses. I like to compare it to having Rabies. You need Water to survive, but when you have rabies your body goes into hydrophobia (fear of water) so you dehydrate and die.

We need people and connection to not go insane or become suicidal. But social anxiety isolates you from everyone. You avoid every social Interaction. You crave love and Attention but fear it like death when it comes your way. And when you have had enough and force yourself to be social it just doesn't work because you have to force yourself. You just can't connect with anyone anymore. You Lose social skills as time Passes. Your body gets ill. Its hell.

I hate Social Anxiety so much and i hate god if He exists for making that a thing.

I agree 100% and the fact social anxiety is seen as either being shy or misconstrued as caring too much about what people think like we are narcissistic is so hurtful. If anything, other people with this anxiety tend to hate themselves and feel guilt/ashamed at avoiding such an everyday part of life. I've learned to stop caring about what other people think but it has not helped how nervous I get when i'm out in a social situation because I no longer fake parts of my personality to make things "smoother". I just want to be myself but I cant deny it hurts even more when people are rude or it ends up being a negative social interaction. Isn't it natural to want to avoid pain? Why are we judging people for not touching a stove that gets hot... I never understood it

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wouldn't say I have no friends but, my friendships are far looser now. I think I had too much intensity about me wanting closer friendships. While they maybe gave me some of my happier moments, they were very hurtful too. That's not to blame them necessarily. I think I wanted too much.

I just got to a point I think where the penny dropped- that after a number of losses- people moving away, people dying, people simply being unreliable- I figured it wasn't worth the hurt.

So, I try to consciously expect less of people now. I can still fall into the trap of feeling that rush of enthusiasm/ excitement when I really connect with someone but, I'm more careful to temper it now.

It's gone into reverse in some ways also- in that I've tried to let most friendships naturally drift. I figure that if CTB is on the horizon, it will hopefully make the impact less.

Really though- I believe friendship is like everything else in life. It needs actively pursuing and maintaining and, there's always the risk of rejection and failure. I'm simply not willing to put the effort in now.

I'm fairly lucky I suppose in terms of coping seeing as I rarely feel lonely. My life is mostly full of work but, I try to distract myself as much as possible with stuff on in the background. If I need interaction though- I reach out. On here. To a friend I still text with. I guess it's luck that I've reached a stage I rarely want more than that.