Help how do you cope with being alive?

[iloveyouihateyou]

hello everyone i'm here to cry about my life and ask for advice again. i've said it in my previous posts and i'll say it again for context but a couple days ago maybe a week now my 3 year relationship ended it's completely fucked my head up and now i'm super depressed, i sleep as much as i can i don't do shit all day, i just smoke cigarettes and rot on my phone or play videogames blah blah blah

anyways normally in times like this i would just get high everyday on anything i could get or drink all day but i'm extremely broke so i've been sober as ever and honestly it's driving me insane. and with that it had me thinking of going to walmart to borrow air duster and benadryl. and while i was reading on how air duster can kill you instantly i was just thinking to myself.. what the fuck am i doing man…

im so ashamed to say but knowing myself. i will still go out and get these things despite knowing it's wrong cause i just can't deal with this immense aching pain in my chest and thoughts of dying in my head 25 hours a day, 8 days a week. but what i'm wondering is what the fuck do i do after i finish my supply?

i don't want to steal air duster cans until i find a job LOL fucking hell man the scenario is funny to me but i do know i'll end up dead or braindead if i keep going on like this so i'd like to know what you guys do when things are extremely difficult. ideally sober.

i was thinking i could pick up journaling again or something but i don't even know man i don't even know how sober people do it. alot of sober people i know who struggle with depression razor themselves and they would tell me it makes them feel good and it's even made me consider trying it but i'm afraid to cut myself and they told me to never try it cause it's not worth it..

but yes to end my rambling i was just looking to hear what you guys do to cope when you're feeling extremely down, like rock bottom or "on the edge" sort of down. like i said i was considering picking up journaling again but i don't know anything else i could try. i would really appreciate anyone's input on this

if you've read this far, thank you for your time and i hope you can have a nice day today :D

 

[DivineSpark]

Well, if I would find way to cope with being alive, I wouldnt be on SASU

 

[lilurki]

I don't know I'm in a similar spot tell me when you get some good answers

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I just try take it day by day I feel I'm being forced to live. It's a hard and pointless life if you ask me ....

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

Well, if I would find way to cope with being alive, I wouldnt be on SASU

ahh man i feel you, i guess being on this website is some form of coping already and i'm grateful for sure like atleast i can openly express my suffering but damn there's gotta be other fulfilling things to do… rigghttt guys..??

I don't know I'm in a similar spot tell me when you get some good answers

i am truly hoping to find some from fellow posters… stay tuned and maybe someone will have some way to find temporary peace in this suffering

I just try take it day by day I feel I'm being forced to live. It's a hard and pointless life if you ask me ....

i totally get you on that, honestly i feel like i'm running on autopilot just following my instincts to live but to think of the future beyond this day makes me want to end it all. taking it day by day is good though and i will try to remember that. lots of virtual hugs i hope you can find enjoyment inbetween all the hurting


thank you guys for responding… even though i'm realizing that we're all in the same boat it feels nice to know i am not completely alone in this helpless feeling. much love for real

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

ahh man i feel you, i guess being on this website is some form of coping already and i'm grateful for sure like atleast i can openly express my suffering but damn there's gotta be other fulfilling things to do… rigghttt guys..??


i am truly hoping to find some from fellow posters… stay tuned and maybe someone will have some way to find temporary peace in this suffering


i totally get you on that, honestly i feel like i'm running on autopilot just following my instincts to live but to think of the future beyond this day makes me want to end it all. taking it day by day is good though and i will try to remember that. lots of virtual hugs i hope you can find enjoyment inbetween all the hurting


thank you guys for responding… even though i'm realizing that we're all in the same boat it feels nice to know i am not completely alone in this helpless feeling. much love for real

Yes I just recently started coming back on and I swear I'm never leaving here again its one of the only places I can get support. I do have one very good online friend I'm grateful for him . I wish there was more fulfilling things to do for me it just ain't the case. I've tried to be okay and be happy so many times already and it keeps getting harder. Sending hugs your way

 

[FishRain3469]

I hear you, I'm pretty much the same way with my addictive personality. So to cope, I drink mass amounts of alcohol and do numerous substances. I also hate that I am like this, but it is what it is.

Thoughts and prayers to you in this thing we call Life. ♥

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

I don't really. I can't.

My partner is a huge factor in keeping me grounded. Otherwise it's food, weed, video games and TV/movies. Those are the only things keeping me tethered to life at this moment. I derive no joy from anything else.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me I just have no choice but to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence as I'm so cruelly and harmfully denied a death like falling into an eternal dreamless sleep to escape from this existence I always saw as a mistake and I'll just always find it so deeply undesirable to exist, I'll always see existing as only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and it's all just so dreadful and terrible to me.

I always wish I never suffered more than anything and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed, I suffer simply from existing and it's suffering only non-existence can bring me peace from, I'll just always find it so torturous to exist no matter what, I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing rather I just want to not exist, I just want to never suffer ever again, for me non-existence really is all that's positive and is the only peace for me, I always suffer so much from being burdened with this existence where I'm just waiting to die anyway.

 

[darksouls]

I am slowly and painfully rotting

 

[Mocha]

Drugs. Nothing too heavy - just weed, lots of caffeine, sometimes I'll hit a geek bar or smoke a cigarette if I'm with friends or it's late night or whatever.

Video games, movies, books, music. Anything that distracts me from who and where I am.

Oh yea, and alcohol too whenever I get the chance to chill and drink.

 

[twistedtransistor69]

My favorite coping mechanism, maladaptive daydreaming. I don't like my reality so I just make up a new one and live there instead as often as possible.

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

Yes I just recently started coming back on and I swear I'm never leaving here again its one of the only places I can get support. I do have one very good online friend I'm grateful for him . I wish there was more fulfilling things to do for me it just ain't the case. I've tried to be okay and be happy so many times already and it keeps getting harder. Sending hugs your way

i feel you on that one like this website is seriously the only place on the internet where i can actually talk about my suffering in all it's disgusting details and still recieve support and sympathy for it. i'm really glad to hear you have a reliable friend to share with. i have some good friends but i never share out of fear of them all abandoning me lol.. you're so right about it getting harder like each day i wonder how i will be able to sustain this lifestyle… it really is so difficult :( virtual hugs recieved and sent back aswell

I hear you, I'm pretty much the same way with my addictive personality. So to cope, I drink mass amounts of alcohol and do numerous substances. I also hate that I am like this, but it is what it is.

Thoughts and prayers to you in this thing we call Life. ♥

i guess you can say we're twins hahaaaa but really though i'm sorry to hear that you are basically experiencing the same thing as me. i wish i wasn't like this either but i honestly would not be speaking to you right now had i not done drugs it's pretty confusingly sad.. i really appreciate your kind words and i hope you can find peace inbetween all the days

I don't really. I can't.

My partner is a huge factor in keeping me grounded. Otherwise it's food, weed, video games and TV/movies. Those are the only things keeping me tethered to life at this moment. I derive no joy from anything else.

yeah my partner used to help me stay grounded aswell as a good partner should, i'm really happy that you have someone who's helping you out. i wish i had some weed that would really help me out right now for real. life really is a drag i don't even know how people are actually happy on this planet genuinely

For me I just have no choice but to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence as I'm so cruelly and harmfully denied a death like falling into an eternal dreamless sleep to escape from this existence I always saw as a mistake and I'll just always find it so deeply undesirable to exist, I'll always see existing as only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and it's all just so dreadful and terrible to me.

I always wish I never suffered more than anything and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was even imposed, I suffer simply from existing and it's suffering only non-existence can bring me peace from, I'll just always find it so torturous to exist no matter what, I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing rather I just want to not exist, I just want to never suffer ever again, for me non-existence really is all that's positive and is the only peace for me, I always suffer so much from being burdened with this existence where I'm just waiting to die anyway.

the way you put it into words is really so relatable, "existing as only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and it's all just so dreadful and terrible to me." there really is no limit to how horrible life can be to an individual and it's so cruel to hear what people have to endure. when you put it this way i don't know how anyone can be surprised that people want to ctb. living is suffering and being awake truly does feel like some horrible torture where you're just waiting to die for it to be over. so painful but i really appreciate you sharing your thoughts here and in your vents. so fucking true man so true :( it honestly moves me

I am slowly and painfully rotting

me too me too, i'm thankful that at the very least we can openly express the suffering we endure. i hope you can atleast rot doing something slightly enjoyable

Drugs. Nothing too heavy - just weed, lots of caffeine, sometimes I'll hit a geek bar or smoke a cigarette if I'm with friends or it's late night or whatever.

Video games, movies, books, music. Anything that distracts me from who and where I am.

Oh yea, and alcohol too whenever I get the chance to chill and drink.

yes i love me some weed i really wish i had some right now :') genuinely helps me so much to unwind and calm down… i used to love caffeine and some cigarettes but i've stopped drinking coffee cause it makes me feel pretty anxious these days… thank fuck for videogames movies and the like cause without those i don't know where i'd be right now genuinely. and yes don't get me started on the alcohol lol… in my eyes you do whatever you gotta do to get through and that's all that matters. thanks for sharing it with me :D

My favorite coping mechanism, maladaptive daydreaming. I don't like my reality so I just make up a new one and live there instead as often as possible.

i seee, i'm assuming you imagine some very indepth scenarios for it to be your favorite? sometimes i try to daydream and just imagine a different life for myself but the reality of my situation comes in like a speeding truck after i exit my mind … but perhaps i could try to lean into it some more.


thank you all so much for your responses.. honestly guys i find it funny how everyone understandably, is barely surviving… almost like i forgot what website i'm on haha but genuinely it's heartwarming to read all of your replies and it makes me feel a little better about myself, even if it's temporary. thank you all for being so kind and open it's so rare to see these days. much love truly. i'm going to be headed to walmart today <3

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I cope by watching tv series and being distracted by them. I spent most of my life just watching tv as a coping mechanism for my stress. It makes me feel less lonely and actively a part of the series. Otherwise I just cry, and let out a few tears.

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

I cope by watching tv series and being distracted by them. I spent most of my life just watching tv as a coping mechanism for my stress. It makes me feel less lonely and actively a part of the series. Otherwise I just cry, and let out a few tears.

that's totally valid, from an outside point of view that sounds pretty cozy to me. what sorts of shows do you watch regularly? do you rewatch the same series again and again? i would assume so unless you're always finding new good material. i wish i could cry but for some reason i rarely cry even when i'm at a breaking point, i seem to just suffer in silence with no outlet it's quite horrible. i'm glad you can find comfort in watching shows and i hope you can have a decent day today !

 

[Mocha]

yes i love me some weed i really wish i had some right now :')

A friend with weed is a friend indeed. I get some from a buddy and then make it last cus the sale price is kinda high... $40 for an 1/8, but it's really quality stuff. Thankfully I get pretty high off of 2 hits. Sometimes he'll give me a joint for free though which is nice.

in my eyes you do whatever you gotta do to get through and that's all that matters

Pretty much...

 

[therealtho]

Distractions so far but I'm not tryna anymore

hello everyone i'm here to cry about my life and ask for advice again. i've said it in my previous posts and i'll say it again for context but a couple days ago maybe a week now my 3 year relationship ended it's completely fucked my head up and now i'm super depressed, i sleep as much as i can i don't do shit all day, i just smoke cigarettes and rot on my phone or play videogames blah blah blah

anyways normally in times like this i would just get high everyday on anything i could get or drink all day but i'm extremely broke so i've been sober as ever and honestly it's driving me insane. and with that it had me thinking of going to walmart to borrow air duster and benadryl. and while i was reading on how air duster can kill you instantly i was just thinking to myself.. what the fuck am i doing man…

im so ashamed to say but knowing myself. i will still go out and get these things despite knowing it's wrong cause i just can't deal with this immense aching pain in my chest and thoughts of dying in my head 25 hours a day, 8 days a week. but what i'm wondering is what the fuck do i do after i finish my supply?

i don't want to steal air duster cans until i find a job LOL fucking hell man the scenario is funny to me but i do know i'll end up dead or braindead if i keep going on like this so i'd like to know what you guys do when things are extremely difficult. ideally sober.

i was thinking i could pick up journaling again or something but i don't even know man i don't even know how sober people do it. alot of sober people i know who struggle with depression razor themselves and they would tell me it makes them feel good and it's even made me consider trying it but i'm afraid to cut myself and they told me to never try it cause it's not worth it..

but yes to end my rambling i was just looking to hear what you guys do to cope when you're feeling extremely down, like rock bottom or "on the edge" sort of down. like i said i was considering picking up journaling again but i don't know anything else i could try. i would really appreciate anyone's input on this

if you've read this far, thank you for your time and i hope you can have a nice day today :D

Similar situation 4 me33

 

[iloveyouihateyou]

A friend with weed is a friend indeed. I get some from a buddy and then make it last cus the sale price is kinda high... $40 for an 1/8, but it's really quality stuff. Thankfully I get pretty high off of 2 hits. Sometimes he'll give me a joint for free though which is nice.



Pretty much...

a friend with weed is a friend indeed… truly words to live by. $40 for an 1/8th sounds like alot for me but if you're saying you're fried off 2 hits that definitely sounds worth it. i guess i buy large amounts of shitty weed for low but i end up smoking like a whole grinder worth just to feel remotely stoned.. maybe i should try higher quality bud instead. damn you make me wish i could take a hit through my screen. also question, do you like indica or sativa more?

Distractions so far but I'm not tryna anymore

Similar situation 4 me33

that's fair like distractions can only do so much for a person until the distraction stops distracting… i wish you the best of luck in moving away from it. and also i'm sorry to hear that you're in a similar situation, if you don't mind me asking what about it is similar to your situation? i'm assuming it's related to anything but the air duster stuff (lol) but whatever it is i hope your situation can improve as time goes on

 

[9mmisglutenfree]

I self harm. by eating food I shouldn't, smoking cigarettes, skip at least 2 meals a day, playing my video game that I get so angry at because it is addictive as fuck (the game and the anger). I've never been into the temporary self harm I'm playing the long game. I cope by thinking about how much I hate myself and how I believe I deserve a long painful death.
I love the cigarettes though. Last night I went out with my gun ready to go but instead I smoked half a pack of camel crush in four hours sitting on my tailgate. Think I'll have another now before I go home. I am out right now because I left to have two morning smokes lol.


Oh and since I didn't know where to fit it in, I watch a ton of YouTube. I love two-three hour videos. Funny because I hate committing to a movie that's even 90 minutes. I watch mostly failrace feer insym boit and hollow (I just realized these are all video game channels lol). Was into the ww2 week by week for a while but can't watch it anymore since I was watching it when the worst days of my life truly began so now it just makes me sad and think about that.

 

[therealtho]

a friend with weed is a friend indeed… truly words to live by. $40 for an 1/8th sounds like alot for me but if you're saying you're fried off 2 hits that definitely sounds worth it. i guess i buy large amounts of shitty weed for low but i end up smoking like a whole grinder worth just to feel remotely stoned.. maybe i should try higher quality bud instead. damn you make me wish i could take a hit through my screen. also question, do you like indica or sativa more?


that's fair like distractions can only do so much for a person until the distraction stops distracting… i wish you the best of luck in moving away from it. and also i'm sorry to hear that you're in a similar situation, if you don't mind me asking what about it is similar to your situation? i'm assuming it's related to anything but the air duster stuff (lol) but whatever it is i hope your situation can improve as time goes on

 

[ForsakenEcho]

There are ok days and bad days... Sometimes I just can't "force" myself to do something else to distract me from the thoughts that hurt or make me feel down. But other times, I manage to calm myself and spend a peaceful moment reading a book and having some coffee.


Lately, I've been trying to take it one day at a time.

 

[Ihatemonday]

Take meds, read, write, tv, coffee and internet. My favorite part of the day is going to sleep.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I bury myself in work. I work, get paid, give money to my kids, put some money aside for my wife when I'm gone, and that's about it. Work consumes my mind, which other people hate and can't wait for the weekend, but I dread the weekend. I have no answers for you. Just know that I read your post all the way through and I hear what you're saying.

.... My favorite part of the day is going to sleep.

People laugh when I say that, but it's 100% true for me too.

 

[divinemistress36]

Doomscrolling and sleeping
I dont enjoy doing anything so hobbies are out

 

[imgonesoondontworry]

drugs, masturbation, and stardew valley