how do you come to terms about, how your gonna leave your loving family?

[Tiger]

how do you come to terms about, how your gonna leave your loving family? i know that my mom would never get over with it, how do I leave knowing the unimaginable pain I'm inflicting on her.

 

[ojinzo]

how do you come to terms about, how your gonna leave your loving family? i know that my mom would never get over with it, how do I leave knowing the unimaginable pain I'm inflicting on her.

Honestly, if I had a loving family who would support me rebuild a livable life, I wouldn't ctb

 

[nys]

My family was abusive before but now they've learned to be more kind and we have a healthier relationship. The trauma from their abuse is what's pushing me to ctb, though, and even though they're kinder now, I feel like they don't love me that much because of how they treated me before. Whenever I think about how much pain they'll be in after I ctb, I try to convince myself that since they abused me in the past, they don't love me and they wouldn't care if I was dead

 

[Tiger]

Honestly, if I had a living family who would support me rebuild a livable life, I wouldn't ctb

I Have illness called Bi polar disorder, it's killing me everyday. It doesn't matter how much hope help and support is given it will not cure my bi polar, it's just shitty existence to live this illness.

 

[FuneralCry]

The way that I see it, suicide is a human right and we have no obligations to exist as we never asked to be here in the first place, it is a personal decision when to leave. We will all die eventually someday and grief and loss is inevitable in life, so to me it's better to leave at a time of my own choosing rather than it being out of my control. Also, it could never be my concern how others react after my death as I would simply not be there to see it.

It would be selfish for others to expect me to suffer against my wishes. The main reason as to why I am still alive is because I have limited access to methods and I fear the method failing, rather than the fact that others would be upset. Losing someone to suicide is painful for those left behind, but the fact is that as long as someone lives, pain is unavoidable.

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

it's quite simple - you aint gonna know fuck all abou' it!!! And one day, as everyone does, they're gonna die too, and the grief will die with them, and the blip in time that is your life, will be over.

the survival rate for children living past 5 years old, 200 years ago, was 50% - so most women back then were in a constant state of grief for their entire adult lives, if they were aiming for 8 kids, which most were, they would be grieving 4 kids on average - grief is normal - grief is the history of female humanity - it has nothing to do with misogyny, and everything to do with biology - whilst women were at home, trying to bring up kids whilst grieving for the others who had died horrible deaths, men were busy working down mines, also grieving fir their children's deaths, because men have feelings too - women back then were too busy dealing with intense grief for the loss of 50% of their kids to have the time or effort to even CARE about exploring their sexuality or any kind of gender identity 'issues' they may or may not have - this world is now full of spoiled little internet brats who have nothing better to do except worry about their feelings being hurt - life it too easy, and you make people think long and hard about serious intense emotions that aren't made up in the college playground, the better...

by CTBing, you're giving the people around you the opportunity to deal with some proper adult emotions. You'll be helping them GROW, truly!!!

 

[Unworthyoflove]

I can imagen that many of us here dont have a loving family, at least thats my case. wondering sometimes if I would be thimking less about ctb if having that. if had them and still would need to ctb, then I believe it would help them cope if they got a very detailed explanation why I did it and how the couldnt have done anything to help me or prevent this. basically doing everything possible to help them understand and making sure they dont feel guilty

 

[outrider567]

Not many left when I CTB, just my stepmother and my cousin''' and 2 nieces,nephew not in contact with

 

[Ligottian]

If I CTB today, the only family I think would seriously grieve me would be an elderly aunt, and, perhaps, to a lesser degree, my sister (only sibling). Both parents are dead.

 

[milkandcoffee]

My family doesn't love me but my SO does... There's that old platitude that says ctb doesn't end the pain, it just pushes it off to someone else, but I'm pretty sure literally anyone else could better handle the pain than I. I'm just overwhelmed by it. Other people don't have it drag them down so much. And anyway, the world will go on. My friends and partner have had other sad things happen to them and they're doing just fine. Loss is part of life and I'm going to die some day anyway.

Edited to add: also, it's FUCKED UP that people expect you to continue on in misery so they don't have to be sad. Fuck that. Your sadness over my death would be just a fucking fraction of the misery I have every single day.

 

[theboy]

I understand you. My family still loves me. My mother will never get over the pain. She would be dead in life, just like me. However, I believe that leaving a detailed, precise and sweet suicide note can ease the pain for our family. It is really difficult to make this decision. I can't keep suffering so that they don't suffer, but every day I feel like I'm wasting my time here on earth.

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

I understand you. My family still loves me. My mother will never get over the pain. She would be dead in life, just like me. However, I believe that leaving a detailed, precise and sweet suicide note can ease the pain for our family. It is really difficult to make this decision. I can't keep suffering so that they don't suffer, but every day I feel like I'm wasting my time here on earth.

maybe you can look at what you have as a terminal illness - maybe it is - it just ends in a different way to how a usual terminal illness does, where it just takes you, and you don't have to do anything about it - but this terminal illness makes 'feeling' unbearable, and so you do what you have to do to stop 'feeling' - and that's the 'terminal' part of it

 

[Tiger]

maybe you can look at what you have as a terminal illness - maybe it is - it just ends in a different way to how a usual terminal illness does, where it just takes you, and you don't have to do anything about it - but this terminal illness makes 'feeling' unbearable, and so you do what you have to do to stop 'feeling' - and that's the 'terminal' part of it

Thank you, this helped a lot.

 

[Still Flutter Girl]

how do you come to terms about, how your gonna leave your loving family? i know that my mom would never get over with it, how do I leave knowing the unimaginable pain I'm inflicting on her.

No idea how to answer this…the only loving family members I had are long dead. Still not over it.

I worry more about making arrangements for my dog. No humans that I know IRL gaf about me since I became disabled, & their gaslighting about my chronic pain and the abuse they didn't want to hear about will be a not-small part of what drives me over the end.

If there are people that love you, try to give them some loving last memories, if it won't raise suspicion.

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

Thank you, this helped a lot.

good - it's nice to feel useful :)

 

[Lost Magic]

My family are deceased now. Lost them relatively young too. I am looking forward to re-joining them actually. However, I do feel for people who are leaving loved ones behind. It's can't be easy.

 

[suicidalwillreturn]

My last goal in life is too outlive my parents then I would ctb. It just would hurt during this lifetime that they expect me to live a happy life and probably have a family but I just know that I will never get out of this cycle because im in the spectrum/im depressed/im in a excuse loop and my personality is laziness and cowardness. I seriously dont know whats wrong with me

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

My family was abusive before but now they've learned to be more kind and we have a healthier relationship. The trauma from their abuse is what's pushing me to ctb, though, and even though they're kinder now, I feel like they don't love me that much because of how they treated me before. Whenever I think about how much pain they'll be in after I ctb, I try to convince myself that since they abused me in the past, they don't love me and they wouldn't care if I was dead

whatever thought process gets the job done - what happened to you when you were young definitely effects your adult psychological state, so there's truth to it

 

[Darkover]

i wouldn't know never had a loving family get put with shit and whole life will turn out shit

 

[Tiger]

i wouldn't know never had a loving family get put with shit and whole life will turn out shit

but do consider the pain i'm suffering just by existing. i can't even fake a smile and i always look sad and people ask why? because nothing interests me anymore i'm just so dead inside. it's not question of will i do it or not anymore, i have decided to it, i'm seeking advice to limit the impact my ctb will have on them.

 

[MayGoNow]

I Have illness called Bi polar disorder, it's killing me everyday. It doesn't matter how much hope help and support is given it will not cure my bi polar, it's just shitty existence to live this illness.

I am in a similar situation. I have tried every form of help, but it has been 30 years plus of ups and downs. I am not wanting to go on with this sadness.

 

[Tiger]

I am in a similar situation. I have tried every form of help, but it has been 30 years plus of ups and downs. I am not wanting to go on with this sadness.

i wish you find your peace.

 

[ontheotherside]

It's difficult. I am being selfish by CTBing at the cost of their welfare. But are they are being selfish by forcing me to live?

 

[Secrets1]

Researched this a lot. It generally has a very negative effect on family. There are a few people I hang on for and try to live a little longer. Just living for them bc they've supported & loved me. It's a total dark cloud that looms over my head. I keep hoping for a miracle that will take me out naturally asap. I believe I'm steady in the short term. In my late 30's & it's hard to imagine anything other than sometime in the next decade I'll say to myself "you've hung on long enough for them to enjoy these past years as much as possible". Never know what the future holds though. Could be sooner, could be later.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Some people will be shocked and sad but I don't really feel anything anymore so it is hard for me to care…

 

[theboy]

maybe you can look at what you have as a terminal illness - maybe it is - it just ends in a different way to how a usual terminal illness does, where it just takes you, and you don't have to do anything about it - but this terminal illness makes 'feeling' unbearable, and so you do what you have to do to stop 'feeling' - and that's the 'terminal' part of it

Good idea
Thanks!

 

[Tiger]

Researched this a lot. It generally has a very negative effect on family. There are a few people I hang on for and try to live a little longer. Just living for them bc they've supported & loved me. It's a total dark cloud that looms over my head. I keep hoping for a miracle that will take me out naturally asap. I believe I'm steady in the short term. In my late 30's & it's hard to imagine anything other than sometime in the next decade I'll say to myself "you've hung on long enough for them to enjoy these past years as much as possible". Never know what the future holds though. Could be sooner, could be later.

Well good for you my friend. even i love my family but we are not in the same boat, i have mental illness which will eventually destroy everything that love, so time for me to ctb.

 

[Sniffer]

I'm basically an invalid and my wife is great. I worry about her. My two just four year old sons will be oblivious as I've been unable to spend much time with them for the last 15 months. I'm thinking now is the time to CTB before they become more aware. There is no cure or cure in sight for my disabling condition. I have a great pension on death, investments and property mortgage free. I feel lucky that they are financially catered for for life. My wife has immense local family support and a large network of friends. I hate being a miserable burden and would like her to move on with her life. I think she will. Other than that my close friends will suffer but we all know life moves on. I just hope my wife can move on quickly. I have openly discussed it with her, treat it as a terminal illness, and be happy I'm not suffering. I also want her to remarry if she finds love again. I hope she does.

 

[Tiger]

It's difficult. I am being selfish by CTBing at the cost of their welfare. But are they are being selfish by forcing me to live?

yes it's your right choose what you should do, no one has a say in it even our dearest one.

I'm basically an invalid and my wife is great. I worry about her. My two just four year old sons will be oblivious as I've been unable to spend much time with them for the last 15 months. I'm thinking now is the time to CTB before they become more aware. There is no cure or cure in sight for my disabling condition. I have a great pension on death, investments and property mortgage free. I feel lucky that they are financially catered for for life. My wife has immense local family support and a large network of friends. I hate being a miserable burden and would like her to move on with her life. I think she will. Other than that my close friends will suffer but we all know life moves on. I just hope my wife can move on quickly. I have openly discussed it with her, treat it as a terminal illness, and be happy I'm not suffering. I also want her to remarry if she finds love again. I hope she does.

you are one good soul, i give you that, speaking relatively your satiation is though then mine, i can understand how you feel to leave that cute little one and love of your life. whatever you decide i wish happiness and peace. you can tell me anything that you like to say.

 

[jcksonb22]

when you don't have a family you don't worry