Help how do you become ok with accepting nothingness/unknown?

[Black Rose Bunny]

every time i try to kill myself i can't get past this wall, i can't stop thinking about how everything's just gonna stop and i'm just going to experience non existence. i get so freaked out and i back out every time

i know i want to die, my issues are ones that objectively cannot be solved, and ones i don't want to live with. i'm unemployed and every day i'm in my room alone wishing for death, surrounded by anxiety and depression. i know no one will miss me other than my pets, who have other people. i know this is forever until i die. i feel so sure that i want to die, i can't even imagine the future i just expect myself to die, but i can't get over that wall.

i don't understand how other people do it, it must take so much courage

 

[chris1979]

We all have to die at some point. If you believe in nothingness after death, then it's going to happen sooner or later regardless.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case the thought of eternal nothingness comforts me so much, a peaceful and dreamless sleep is all I've ever wished for, the only relief for me lies in this existence being permanently forgotten about, I see beauty in being free from this cruel and meaningless existence.

 

[Minsu]

I absolutely understand! I've been thinking about nothingness for a few months straight myself..
But on the other hand nothingness might be very nice if you're looking for stopping of suffering though

 

[turntechGodhead]

the way i came to terms w the nothingness n found comfort from it is by thinking abt how the everything in this world caused so much harm but when there is this nothingness i will not hv to worry anymore or exist any longer

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Nothingness was like before I was born. I didn't have any problems , pain nor suffering all that time for 13.8 billion years. The problems began for me when I was born . Also suffering pain and 1000 other bad things in life and this evil world like diseases, evil , scams , oppression , injustice, old age , extreme constant pain, etc.

When I die then it's as if i were back again to the time I wasn't born yet. I wasn't fearing , nor worrying, nor desiring anything before I was born . for example in the year 1859 , or any day or second of the last 13.8 billion years. I wasn't missing anything all that time nor had any problem with not existing.

I believe after Death a human ceases to exist forever and never exists again

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Like people said, it's like how you experienced the 1920s. You simply don't exist. I find it to be a very soothing thought. Eternal afterlife is horrifying.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Like people said, it's like how you experienced the 1920s. You simply don't exist. I find it to be a very soothing thought. Eternal afterlife is horrifying.

I didn't exist in 1924. I know I won't exist in 2124. I hope I can get my plan ready so that I don't have to exist in 2024. going by new years eve would be nice for me

Eternal afterlife is horrifying to me too. But I think a human will stop existing after death .it is soothing comforting non-existence

 

[suchaprettygard3n]

every time i try to kill myself i can't get past this wall, i can't stop thinking about how everything's just gonna stop and i'm just going to experience non existence. i get so freaked out and i back out every time

i know i want to die, my issues are ones that objectively cannot be solved, and ones i don't want to live with. i'm unemployed and every day i'm in my room alone wishing for death, surrounded by anxiety and depression. i know no one will miss me other than my pets, who have other people. i know this is forever until i die. i feel so sure that i want to die, i can't even imagine the future i just expect myself to die, but i can't get over that wall.

i don't understand how other people do it, it must take so much courage

im the same. the thought of like eternal nothingness just kind of fills me with this awful dread. sometimes it helps to tell myself that because i wont exist anymore then i wont FEEL the nothingness y'know? but my brain cant really comprehend that too well so i just go back to the anxiety inducing dread. shit sucks.

 

[ChronicallyCynical]

You are perfectly valid to be afraid - it is natural to be afraid of the unknown, of things you don't have experience with or don't recall having experience with -, you're human and it is often part of the human instinct to fear death, even if we desire it. However:

1) Everyone dies eventually, so you'll experience that nothingness eventually.
2) Before you were born there was nothingness, now you're just returning to it.
3) Nothingness also implies you're experiencing nothing. You're not conscious of anything. Everything stops for you, including your ability to perceive the nothingness around you.
4) Nothingness means no suffering as much as it does anything else.
5) We don't know what happens after death. It might not be nothingness. We can only assume about that which we don't know, and everyone has different assumptions.

Courage is not born in the absence of fear. Courage is born when facing fear. Many here fear or have feared - even if they are now gone - some aspect relevant to death, even if not the death itself. A failure to die successfully resulting in permanent damage and further suffering, for instance. Traumatising their loved ones. What happens after life. And you can either overcome those fears and go through with catching the bus, or you can find a way to live a more peaceful experience.

You say you objectively cannot solve your problems in life, so then perhaps looking for the most relaxed way to die might be the solution. Sedatives might help calm your nerves and ease the pain.

Regardless of what you choose to go through or not go through with, I hope you find peace, away from your anxieties and your depression, and I'm sure you'll find the courage to go through with some kind of solution eventually.

 

[Black Rose Bunny]

im the same. the thought of like eternal nothingness just kind of fills me with this awful dread. sometimes it helps to tell myself that because i wont exist anymore then i wont FEEL the nothingness y'know? but my brain cant really comprehend that too well so i just go back to the anxiety inducing dread. shit sucks.

yeah :( my brain just goes in circles panicking "are you sure things can't get better???? i can't think of a way but what if they could???" "you don't know what's out there, this could be a huge mistake, it's so permanent" i know it's not logical but i still get so freaked out after too much of them i back out every time and just sit there under my rope. the worst part is i somehow can't even cry despite how much i want to

You say you objectively cannot solve your problems in life, so then perhaps looking for the most relaxed way to die might be the solution. Sedatives might help calm your nerves and ease the pain.

is alcohol a sedative? I get caught up in thinking maybe some crazy miracle stuff happens down the line and life becomes worth living, but i've had these suicidal feelings ever since i was little. i think it's just my brain and survival instincts trying to cope and desperately find a reason why i shouldn't enter nothingness

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Death for me is going to be honourable/restful. I've been a fighter my whole life only for my efforts to be completely obliterated by repeat misfortune and bad circumstances. Well adjusted people truly don't understand the breadth of suffering some can experience in life due to circumstances they were born into. It's almost if a higher power molded my life this way just so I could experience their sadistic fantasy/malice. Ultimately, I want to go out on my shield knowing that I fought hard and lived well enough; rather than continuing and becoming more husk of a human being then I aready am. I don't want my future self to suffer anymore, the only future me I see is insane and even more broken. The only "virtue" (more like a malignant wound) I've recieved from life is a deep sympathy, I see a world of absolute suffering and unfairness on a fundamental level. Nature, Capitalism, Radical ideology, Disease, Exploitation of labour, Trauma/Mental Illness, superficiality, human history is sickening, the nutrients that sustain us are built on the back bones of a holocaust of suffering. It's undeniably a form of hell if you really think about it. There's peace in death being free from this madness and personal suffering. I don't know if I can wrestle the desire to live into submission, but I do know that if I don't my suffering will continue to worsen.

 

[ChronicallyCynical]

yeah :( my brain just goes in circles panicking "are you sure things can't get better???? i can't think of a way but what if they could???" "you don't know what's out there, this could be a huge mistake, it's so permanent" i know it's not logical but i still get so freaked out after too much of them i back out every time and just sit there under my rope. the worst part is i somehow can't even cry despite how much i want to

is alcohol a sedative? I get caught up in thinking maybe some crazy miracle stuff happens down the line and life becomes worth living, but i've had these suicidal feelings ever since i was little. i think it's just my brain and survival instincts trying to cope and desperately find a reason why i shouldn't enter nothingness

I wouldn't know because I don't really have much experience with it. Tried it a couple of times before, but I hated the taste.

But PubMed says it's both a stimulant and a sedative.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's the fear of the unknown but maybe it's also a trick of your SI to construct thoughts that are holding you back. Death itself can't be bad as it's natural. Everything and everyone is gonna die sooner or later and if you died in an accident you could also not prevent an earlier death than if it was a natural one.

None of us knows what comes after death. Existence is only logic when sth is bound to matter like our bodies consist of matter and can be considered a cluster of atoms which is neither thinking nor moving after death. The body still exists it's just out of energy and maybe this energy will reunite with the all surrounding quantum vacuum energy that is everywhere.

 

[Kerrtu]

It's a different journey for everyone, the ultimate acceptance of death, though the destination I believe is the same; returning again to nothingness.

I remember being terrified of death when I was a kid, then figuring out nobody could hurt me if I were dead, which brought me comfort and near hope when I was being abused.

Death is not something anyone will elude - only delay in whichever way. Somehow, I have eluded death up until this point. I feel no fear as I am certain the pain will forever cease.

That said, tonight was pretty brutal - I want to cry out for my sister but that would cause her distress and she doesn't know the extent of my physical illness.

I'm essentially keeping this secret from her, though I believe it is ultimately for the best.

Once I'm gone, she will understand.

Cancer has forced me to face the inevitable and as agonizing as it feels at times, I also feel tremendous relief to know it'll be over soon. I still plan to use SN; the doctors want me on this cocktail of drugs to be taken intravenously every 3 weeks which I will comply with so they don't get suspicious.

If I'm able to hold on till November and not be hospitalized, I would like to end my life on the day my mother died.

That seems full circle to me and brings me peace.

❀

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I don't have any belief system.

So I don't believe in an afterlife or eternal nothingness. I don't sit on the fence on many issues in this life, but on questions this big I very much find it appropriate to do so...

Therefor, when I contemplate death, I am completely and utterly open minded to what it could be. It's a total mystery to me, and I admit I have no idea what awaits any of us after this life. But I think it's okay to be hopeful of something better. For me, hope is a different thing to belief or faith. So I view ctb as a great big roll of the dice... I'm going all in on the poker table, rather than waiting to slowly bleed my chips away and lose every hand, until I'm just another sad defeated and demoralised player leaving the table of life.

So perhaps you could just view death this way, a great big surprise and an adventure into the unknown. The universe is mind blowingly huge, so this gives me hope that there is something better out there somewhere in the cosmos. You don't necessarily need to have a belief system in order to have a positive outlook on death. It was complete random chance that any of us came into existence in the first place, so I don't view ctb as being an inherently negative action. It is just merely accelerating the normal processes of our natural life-cycle.

 

[Falling Slowly]

every time i try to kill myself i can't get past this wall, i can't stop thinking about how everything's just gonna stop and i'm just going to experience non existence. i get so freaked out and i back out every time

Experience non-existence? How can you experience non-existence? You obviously can't. Death will be the end of you. Existence terminated. Maybe there's a part of you that returns to a 'source', or a nothingness, but 'you' won't be returning anywhere, it's the end of your body, your mind, your everything.

I get how it's scary to face the end of your own existence, but I wouldn't worry about non-existence after death. No point in worrying about after, just work out whether this life is worth living or not, forget about after (again, not to diminish the fear of ending things).

 

[brownbear]

I try to compare the nothingness after death to the nothingness before birth. Somehow its relieving, we go and come out of the same non existence, for me its only natural.