How do you avoid SI due to loved ones?

[born2win]

Please help

 

[Sniffer]

Me too.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I wish I knew the answer to this. Most of the people I care about are on this forum now. Survival instinct is a cruel method to keep us suffering.

 

[born2win]

I wish I knew the answer to this. Most of the people I care about are on this forum now. Survival instinct is a cruel method to keep us suffering.

I hate ir

 

[FuneralCry]

Sounds like a difficult situation to be in. I think that a lot of suicidal people struggle with this. My point of view on this issue is that if I was to die how others would react is simply none of my concern as I wouldn't be there at that point. One would need a consciousness to be able to care about anything. And there is the fact that death, grief and loss are simply inevitable in a life like this and are a consequence of bringing humans into this world, because as humans we are insignificant, we only exist in the first place just to die and be forgotten about.

 

[born2win]

Sounds like a difficult situation to be in. I think that a lot of suicidal people struggle with this. My point of view on this issue is that if I was to die how others would react is simply none of my concern as I wouldn't be there at that point. One would need a consciousness to be able to care about anything. And there is the fact that death, grief and loss are simply inevitable in a life like this and are a consequence of bringing humans into this world, because as humans we are insignificant, we only exist in the first place just to die and be forgotten about.

so they say, the whole world is replete with graveyard of stories. However! it's difficult to individual's experience and how each value individuals around us. VERY FUCKING DIFFICULT!!!

 

[bbye111]

Please help

it's really hard to overcome but I think about it this way, death is inevitable, and our time will always come.. yours simply came now. many people died due to various ways, yours came in the form of ctb. that's all. people died of "natural causes" such as sickness, but in the end, it's still their fault they ended up with such illnesses due to what they've done in the early stages of their life.

 

[born2win]

it's really hard to overcome but I think about it this way, death is inevitable, and our time will always come.. yours simply came now. many people died due to various ways, yours came in the form of ctb. that's all. people died of "natural causes" such as sickness, but in the end, it's still their fault they ended up with such illnesses due to what they've done in the early stages of their life.

death awaits no one, young and old. we simply chose our time and means of ending.

 

[Shu]

Please help

I don't know it's something I'm just going to have to do through without thinking about too much. Not having a place that I can just go and do it has made it worse because I've had more time to sit around and think about it. (Family guilt etc) It sucks.

 

[dopaminedeath]

I don't agree with the 'we all die anyway' sentiment when talking about the impact on others. There is a different perception around this way of dying. The grief loved ones go through usually has different elements than say dying from heart disease or an accident.

Depending on your relationship to them they will be impacted a lot. Ultimately we don't know what will become of them. Acceptance seems like a good way to deal with it. There will be grief, you have to accept that and when you feel like you do - ask yourself if you still want to go ahead with it.

 

[born2win]

I don't agree with the 'we all die anyway' sentiment when talking about the impact on others. There is a different perception around this way of dying. The grief loved ones go through usually has different elements than say dying from heart disease or an accident.

Depending on your relationship to them they will be impacted a lot. Ultimately we don't know what will become of them. Acceptance seems like a good way to deal with it. There will be grief, you have to accept that and when you feel like you do - ask yourself if you still want to go ahead with it.

I just wish those people around me justice and peace in life. I sincerely hope as we all do possibly that they move on and continue on with their journey and dreams. Hassle.

I don't know it's something I'm just going to have to do through without thinking about too much. Not having a place that I can just go and do it has made it worse because I've had more time to sit around and think about it. (Family guilt etc) It sucks.

you are most right on this..

 

[SamTam33]

How they'll be affected likely depends on the role you played in their life. Do they rely on you for something? Money, shelter, care, etc.

If so, I'd try to leave them in a good position; make them beneficiaries on accounts or something like that.

Otherwise, I'd have the awareness to know that my death isn't going to stop their world from turning.

They aren't going to starve themselves to death in hopes that I'll return.

No one is going to start committing felonies in retaliation for my suicide.

Their lives will move forward without me. I am not essential to anything on this planet.

Most of us aren't.

The world and those around us know how to function without us.

We might be only living for them, but that doesn't mean they're only living for us.

I'd remind myself that I'm likely projecting how I feel onto them and assuming they feel the same way about me.

We worry so much about those around us, but could we have a single conversation about how we feel and have them genuinely support us?

Why are we so hellbent on protecting those who haven't protected us?

You'll have to create statements that apply to your own situation, but that's how I'd approach it: with logical reasons for that type of SI not to exist.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't agree with the 'we all die anyway' sentiment when talking about the impact on others. There is a different perception around this way of dying. The grief loved ones go through usually has different elements than say dying from heart disease or an accident.

Depending on your relationship to them they will be impacted a lot. Ultimately we don't know what will become of them. Acceptance seems like a good way to deal with it. There will be grief, you have to accept that and when you feel like you do - ask yourself if you still want to go ahead with it.

Yeah- I do agree with you. Natural death from illness and assisted suicide at a clinic vs. sudden death from illness, accidental death, murder, still born and suicide are all death- certainly but they all create different degrees of impact and emotion. Some deaths are more predictable than others. Seeing as we don't cope well with even predictable death, I imagine the sudden kind hit harder.

If a death is seen as 'unfair', they 'died before their time' type thing- I think there is both the shock to get over (there was no warning) plus- a whole bunch of other emotions. While it would be nice if our loved ones appreciated that WE thought it was our time to go- they are unlikely to feel the same- sadly. I think they feel like some entity robbed us of our lives (usually depression or mental illness.) Otherwise, I expect there is some hurt there- knowing that we made the decision to leave them- knowing what it would do to them. Maybe guilt- that they could have done more or even anger- that we have made them experience this several years/decades too early.

I personally don't feel at all comforted by the likely fact I won't be conscious at that point to witness the aftermath. I suppose I'm kind of envious of people who can think like that- absolutely no fear of an afterlife for starters plus, no worry for the people left behind. Reckon I'd be gone already if I could get myself to think like that.

I know what it's like to mourn people- and that was natural death. I do really hate it that my actions may well really hurt some people. I guess I'm trying to minimise that as much as I can by remaining very isolated and hanging on for the one remaining person who I don't think would get over it.

I completely agree that we are suffering too- and constantly most likely- if- deep down- we don't want to live. Still- unless this is in plain sight, I doubt many of our loved ones realise. It IS also selfish for them to hang on to us for their own needs but I just don't think many of them see it like that. It would also be hurtful to tell them that- which I expect is why many of us don't (as well as fears of an intervention.)

I personally can't get beyond the worry about my Dad. I feel like I HAVE to wait for him to go first. Still- I think we all have a breaking point. Ultimately- if we reach it- I suspect nothing will stop us.

It's terrible advice I'm afraid but I think the answer is- you'll know yourself when you just can't handle it anymore. At that point, I suspect nothing really influences you asides from just getting it over with. I'm sorry- a lot of us are in a similar situation.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's terrible damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't position suicidal people find themselves in. That fact is rarely appreciated. The people who fare best after a suicide are those who are able to have some understanding of why the person chose to die. Usually in these cases the deceased was forthcoming about their feelings and desires. These are feelings that people generally are unable to hold space for (not to mention the punitive, authoritarian measures taken to "help" the lost little suicidal lambs): again, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Ultimately the most humane of way to resolve these opposing forces seems to me to be for the non-suicidal people to try to let go.

I agree that if you're going to CTB, you need to be honest with yourself about the potential impact of your actions and not to try invoke cop-outs like "oh, you know everyone dies".