Discussion How do you actually get by day to day?

[M48 Patton]

My memory stressing me out and my bladder problems are constant reminders of how trapped I am. It's never ending and ceaseless agony.

I feel this unhealthy co dependence with suicidal thinking.

I just feel really alone because none of my family want to believe me or simply put actually understand how painful
Life is. Getting doctors to listen or help if they can at all is verging on impossible

 

[FuneralCry]

For me there's simply no choice but to continue suffering, it isn't like there's the option for me to just easily die in peace whenever I wish to which is so terrible and unacceptable. If it was up to me I never would have chosen to exist, more than anything I wish I never existed but of course I had no say in that, this existence was so tragically imposed after all.

No matter what I'd always prefer to not exist, only non existence is ideal to me as it's the permanent absence of all suffering and harm, death is always better to me than being trapped in this futile existence for decades just to die in agony from old age, to die painlessly like never waking again truly would be such a relief for me.

 

[Pikmin]

I just lay in bed every hour that I'm not working, crying, falling asleep, crying more. I'll get up to eat and drink when the hunger/thirst starts to hurt.

All I do is think about suicide, and cry because I feel so alone. I have everything I need for the exit bag method, I'm just scared about what happens after death. Rationally I know it'll be just like before we were all born, but it's still scary to not exist. What I really wish is that I was someone else, I don't want to be me anymore.

 

[Forveleth]

I am a maladaptive daydreamer, emotional eater, and an alcoholic so, not much help from me. I also cry a lot out of sadness. We're supposed to have the support system of friends and family, but I don't have either.

To make it minute by minute I listen to a lot of music and YouTube videos. Keeping my brain engaged helps me not have time to think about how miserable I am.

 

[Saturn_]

I am a maladaptive daydreamer

Second on this. Honestly, I really do love being able to escape at any time into beautiful dream worlds. I don't think it's all bad to utilize imagination as a coping strategy. Do you have a paracosm by any chance? A lot of maladaptive dreamers love worldbuilding and piecing together highly immersive, structured worlds. I've considered putting time into making one for myself for years now, but I've still never gotten around to it.

 

[Forveleth]

Second on this. Honestly, I really do love being able to escape at any time into beautiful dream worlds. I don't think it's all bad to utilize imagination as a coping strategy. Do you have a paracosm by any chance? A lot of maladaptive dreamers love worldbuilding and piecing together highly immersive, structured worlds. I've considered putting time into making one for myself for years now, but I've still never gotten around to it.

Oh goodness, I've been building the world in my head for about 30 years. I always fold in different worlds and characters from current things that I like, such as movies and video games, and develop my story through that. I have a few core characters that have been developed over those 30 years, and then a bunch of ancillary characters that come and go as my interests change. I also have had a house designed in my head for like 15 years and I really really really need to get Sims or some architecture software or something and build it out.

I don't think imagination is problems necessarily and I think it can be good for coping. It's when it becomes a distraction from other parts of life. For example, I can keep myself awake for several hours at night daydreaming instead of sleeping or I will spend my day at work daydreaming instead of doing my job.

 

[HopeToStay]

I'm going through a massive health scare at the minute, and the only thing that keeps me going is that i have formulated a plan to CTB in Peru if it is not the news i want. I'm going to try and make a nice trip of it at least and i can speak Spanish. There will be some good things to see and do and i can go out on a high. Hasta la proxima vida!

 

[archiveofpain]

Mostly jumping from distractions to other distractions to prevent any thought from ever occurring and also hyperfixations, without them I feel lost and as if my life has even less meaning than normal. But it's getting harder and harder lately to distract myself, nothing is ever enough to numb my existence. My list of generally trustworthy distractions only gets smaller making me feel out of control

 

[BardBarrie]

Try to force excess sleep.
Listening to podcasts.
Internet.

That's pretty much my pointless existence.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

My memory stressing me out and my bladder problems are constant reminders of how trapped I am. It's never ending and ceaseless agony.

I feel this unhealthy co dependence with suicidal thinking.

I just feel really alone because none of my family want to believe me or simply put actually understand how painful
Life is. Getting doctors to listen or help if they can at all is verging on impossible

I cry a lot, read up on methods and write dark poems and stories. Pull my hair out, bite my nails, pick scabs. Thats how I cope.
Tell myself I'm 50 so over halfway there at least.

 

[Worndown]

Wake up and do what is needed until time to sleep. Like a real life, just different.

 

[Agon321]

I'm heading towards CTB and I'm trying not to focus on the problems around me and within me.
Of course this is not always possible.
The interesting thing is that I don't cry at all anymore. I don't remember the last time I cried.
Even when I had a huge crisis.
I feel like I'm becoming more and more cold and aggressive.
But on the other hand, I am becoming less and less serious.
I can see it with my naked eye


I spend most of my time on the Internet and focus my mind on completely different things.
It allows me to live in an alternate reality, in a sense.
This is how I deal with the world.

 

[Raven2]

I have work a few days so that keeps me distracted. Days off I stay in bed and hope I will fall back to sleep. Ill text friends or come on here to not feel so alone in my thoughts. Its a never ending cycle of bad thoughts

 

[feliksy magaliNé]

do you have anything you like to do or would like to learn?
i find that focusing on skills and hobbies keeps the urges away
CTB is everyone's choice, but if you choose to live you might as well find some way to live for yourself
drawing, reading comics, gaming, reviewing for my entrance tests, these all help me a lot
i also focus on my loved ones and family, but since reading from your post i can tell that they don't treat you well, i don't think that would help much…

 

[outrider567]

Pass the time with YouTube TV

 

[divinemistress36]

Im a scab picker too it sucks

I cry a lot, read up on methods and write dark poems and stories. Pull my hair out, bite my nails, pick scabs. Thats how I cope.
Tell myself I'm 50 so over halfway there at leas

 

[LifeIsBS]

This forum, reddit, youtube, reading, staring, daydreaming, and uhm... researching culture, and boom, its that easy for me. scary.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Beats the hell out of me. I should have collapsed from pure exhaustion by this point.

 

[soulkitty]

I have no idea, everyday feels like climbing a mountain, trying to scrounge up every bit of dopamine I can just to make it through without hurting myself

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

delusion

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I lie in bed and browse my phone. That's it. I don't call that getting by, really.

 

[kyhoti]

Most days I get by 30 minutes at a time. Sometimes 5 minutes at a time. I have a couple of core books that I've spent the last year studying, in fits and starts. I go for walks. I watch Youtube. I plan out gear for an Appalachian thru-hike that I know I won't be doing. I go to recovery meetings some days. Little things, and days pass, sometimes better, sometimes not.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Mostly jumping from distractions to other distractions to prevent any thought from ever occurring and also hyperfixations, without them I feel lost and as if my life has even less meaning than normal. But it's getting harder and harder lately to distract myself, nothing is ever enough to numb my existence. My list of generally trustworthy distractions only gets smaller making me feel out of control

I relate to this a lot. My hyper fixations allow me to forget the world exists. Lately I've been diving into gunpla model kits. The highly detailed instructions and mechanics keep my mind engaged. Anime and manga is also a great escape.

I'm sorry your experiencing a reduction in your interests. That's a painful place to be.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Most days I get by 30 minutes at a time. Sometimes 5 minutes at a time. I have a couple of core books that I've spent the last year studying, in fits and starts. I go for walks. I watch Youtube. I plan out gear for an Appalachian thru-hike that I know I won't be doing. I go to recovery meetings some days. Little things, and days pass, sometimes better, sometimes not.

Same. I pick a few milestones (ex. brewing a cup of coffee, finishing my walk, reading my book, etc.) and just jump from milestone to milestone until I get to the glorious final stop of sleep.

 

[frost_]

Someone once told me the more I fill my days with things that bring me joy or positive distractions, the less time I have to feel unhappy.

Come to think of it, that's what everyone does for decades with work, children, and hobbies anyways.

 

[worthIess]

drugs

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I just fantasise about death and that's it. Soon I might have to try and turn that fantasy into reality because life is just getting harder and more overwhelming for me

 

[prisonerofexistence]

Try to force excess sleep.
Listening to podcasts.
Internet.

That's pretty much my pointless existence.

Same

 

[derpyderpins]

I refresh this site way too much these days. It's become my nervous tick.