How the hell do we all get through the days. Its agony 24/7.
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I find it a lot easier when I have drugs to keep me company.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,377
I just exist really. I do not do a lot. I try to sleep as much as I possibly can. I live such an empty existence and I am tired of it. I am only still here because it is difficult to ctb. If it was easier to leave this world, I would already be gone. I wish I could just dissappear
meetapple
Mage
- Jun 3, 2021
- 585
False hope. Fear of hurting others. Fear of death.
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,621
Tbh I don't even know what some people find so difficult only why it's hell for me. It's a personal thing as is what gets you through
ClownMe
Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
- Apr 7, 2021
- 20,561
I have no idea how i keep going, life is agonizing.
Owl of Minerva
It is absurd
- Jan 3, 2021
- 59
I'm just patiently waiting for the right circumstances to exit.. being prepared is what keeps me going paradoxically
TheHatedOne
Death is salvation
- Sep 26, 2021
- 2,028
It's a little bit better when alcohol. But yeah life's only about suffering and being in pain.
I struggle to answer that question everyday. There will never be an answer. That's why ctb is my only choice
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What about finances, shopping, cleaning up. I find these virtually impossible. Never wanted to be on benefits and now I am there are millions which is all too complex with mental illness. Another reason I want to kick the bucket.
Benzos help. But back too square 1 after a few hours.
I haven't done laundry in the last 5 months. My place is a mess. Yeah benzos help temporarily, mostly to help me sleep, then it's back to shitty reality again. I feel your pain. I just want this all to stop
Bedrock48
Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
- Feb 1, 2021
- 540
Spite, little bit of hope, maybe some laziness and SI. I suppose thats the long and short of it.
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,474
Old habits. I have exercised and taken walks my whole life, so I'll just automatically take a walk or exercise after a while. Old memories and experiences. Just any sort of positive hope.
Seafoam
Student
- Jun 26, 2020
- 103
Basically my loved ones. Not so sure how long that will last though...
I don't know why. I'm just surviving everyday. My mind can't stop thinking in ctb.
deflationary
Fussy exister. Living in the epilogue
- Mar 11, 2020
- 529
We keep going because pure misery alone doesn't kill anyone. As sad as that is. We should have some sort of an inbuilt self-destruct mechanism that activates when life gets bad enough. I'd love to have exploded and splattered my guts all over the classroom when I was like 12.
Sprinkled hope here and there, spite from my bullshit friends, and some sort of "force" I can't describe accurately; like a power that halts all opportunities to ctb that come my way.
Sans
Protesting the conditions of an inhumane world
- Oct 2, 2019
- 350
That about sums it up, minus the bullshit friends for me because I don't have any.
I find solace in the fact that one day I'm going to blow my head off in public, jump out of a plane, or some equally disgusting CTB methods as my final middle finger to society.
