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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,187
Recently I post less. Maybe my OCD behavior finally reached its peak. But I am also a little bit exhausted but it is not like I did not have any new ideas. I am rather pretty lonely and crave for real life interactions. (which does not get fulfiled usually)

I kind of enjoy being passive currently. Consuming posts passively can also be comforting. However my experience probably differs because I already have posted several thousand posts. The experience will be different if someone has only a handful of posts or remains a lurker. Maybe it feels lonelier (?) Less of a community experience.

I can still relate very well to many members. But passively my OCD (control freak) is less - sadly even online this pattern seems to repeat. And I don't know venting only helps about suicide. And I already posted all my thoughts on suicide a couple of times. In off-topic or politics I am more creative. But I feel less of an urge to post there currently.

Maybe people who were lurkers only a short time periode ago can provide better insights than me.

I also feel less pressure to deliver a thread daily. Though I doubt I will leave this forum any time soon. My situation especially when the exams come closer will become way worse. I will be dependent on the resources to cope provided by this forum which is very precious to me.
 
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Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,593
I think that I am having an experience similar to yours. When I first discovered this forum I was a lurker for a while, and passively consuming the content here, but after a while this was not enough. I registered, and I found the ability to have conversations relating to the subject of suicide to be very stimulating. Eventually though you can start to feel burnt out from the constant discussions; users leave, topics are repeated multiple times, and issues arise in the real world. In time things become... I am not sure of the correct word... bland maybe? Sometimes it can be helpful to take a short break, and come back when you are feeling ready; this is what I have done previously, and now here I am again making posts. I hope this helps.
 
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