How do normal people do so much with their lives?

[sserafim]

How do normal people do so much with their lives? They have so much energy to do things and can balance so many things. I can literally only do one thing a day but normal people can balance a job/career, friendships, adulting, etc. How do they have the ability and capacity to do so much? Don't they get tired?

I think a factor in this is probably my neurodivergence which causes me to burnout quickly and have bad executive function, but still. Normal people have 1000000x the spoons as me. I barely have energy to do anything. I'm literally exhausted everyday without even doing anything

 

[Qua]

I find that hard to believe as well, it feels like there's just something wrong with you when you watch everyone around you live their best lives and manage to do so much while you can bearly finish one thing. I don't remember the last time I would be able to live even one day like they live their whole lives. Even sitting with people I really appreciate and enjoy spending time with makes me really sad and tired after a while. I think I feel you

 

[R_N]

I always felt overwhelmed when I am around people for too long and I needed to recharge. They call that introvert but I enjoy talking to people with who I can be myself and don't have to be fake.

Being in public and dealing with people and tasks just overloads my sensors. It saps a lot of strength from me and makes retreats even more mandatory.

 

[sserafim]

I find that hard to believe as well, it feels like there's just something wrong with you when you watch everyone around you live their best lives and manage to do so much while you can bearly finish one thing. I don't remember the last time I would be able to live even one day like they live their whole lives. Even sitting with people I really appreciate and enjoy spending time with makes me really sad and tired after a while. I think I feel you

Yeah ikr, I definitely feel like there's something wrong with me. It's probably due to my neurodivergence, but I didn't think the issue would've become this bad. When I was in college all I did was study and go to office hours/tutoring because I didn't have the capacity to do extracurriculars as well. Just studying was draining enough for me.

Everyone around me is successful and advancing in their education/careers meanwhile I'm just struggling to do the basics and little things of existence. I've failed to launch and I'm a shut-in/hiki, yet I'm still so tired everyday. I'm literally not doing anything but I'm still so exhausted.

Ugh I really wonder how normal people can juggle so much on their plate, and how they have the capability to do so much in their lives

 

[SmollMushroom]

To be fair it's all a matter of habits imo.
I bet a lot of people with a normal life, wouldn't bare the solitude I endure. And the emptiness of my life. They would go insane rather quick.
The reason why I didn't (or well maybe partially), it's because it took years for me to end up like this. So I got slowly used to it.
For people with a normal life it's all the way around.
They manage to do all the things they do because they slowly grew accustomed to it.
You always have to build a house from the foundations. Take things step by step. Otherwise it's normal to feel overwhelmed.
It's a bit like the story of the frog and the boiling water you know?

 

[SpiritualDeath]

When I was in college all I did was study and go to office hours/tutoring because I didn't have the capacity to do extracurriculars as well

You're not alone. I'm currently in uni and all I do is study, yet I can't do as well as others. I've already given up on friendships, relationships, extracurriculars, etc. bc all those things have ever done to me is draining my energy and making my life miserable. I guess I just stopped giving a fk at some point.

 

[sserafim]

To be fair it's all a matter of habits imo.
I bet a lot of people with a normal life, wouldn't bare the solitude I endure. And the emptiness of my life. They would go insane rather quick.
The reason why I didn't (or well maybe partially), it's because it took years for me to end up like this. So I got slowly used to it.
For people with a normal life it's all the way around.
They manage to do all the things they do because they slowly grew accustomed to it.
You always have to build a house from the foundations. Take things step by step. Otherwise it's normal to feel overwhelmed.
It's a bit like the story of the frog and the boiling water you know?

Yeah I guess, but I still feel like normal people have a higher capacity than me. It's like they're functioning on 200% and I'm functioning on 50%. I don't know how they have the capability to do all those things simultaneously and balance it all, without getting tired or exhausted.

 

[リンさん]

I always felt broken or weird for doing so little with my life, but it all started to make sense when I got my autism diagnosis.

For some reason, it's like everyone around me has double the hours in their day, while my personal limit caps out at only a handful of tasks, most of which are simple life things, such as feeding myself, showering, shopping for groceries. It all takes so much time. I need breaks in everything I do.

Thing that puzzles me a lot is how people manage to cook food for themselves and then immediately sit down to eat it. I literally get exhausted from just thinking about prepping ingredients lol.

 

[sserafim]

I always felt broken or weird for doing so little with my life, but it all started to make sense when I got my autism diagnosis.

For some reason, it's like everyone around me has double the hours in their day, while my personal limit caps out at only a handful of tasks, most of which are simple life things, such as feeding myself, showering, shopping for groceries. It all takes so much time. I need breaks in everything I do.

Thing that puzzles me a lot is how people manage to cook food for themselves and then immediately sit down to eat it. I literally get exhausted from just thinking about prepping ingredients lol.

Literally! This describes my experience entirely. It's like people have double the hours in their day than I do. It also takes me much longer to do things than others. Honestly, just existing is a chore for me. I have Asperger's/autism and ADHD, so double the executive dysfunction.

Lol whenever I make food for myself I always eat it in the middle. But yeah the whole process from start to finish is draining. I guess multistep tasks are just tiring for me. The worst thing is that my parents expect me to function as a normal person…

 

[Mrpickles]

I think you might be surprised how many aren't actually all that normal. I have a wife, 3 kids, a respectable career, active in the community, lot of volunteer hours, etc. It's all a facade though. I have no energy for it. But I do it all with a smile . Appearance is everything these days. But the ones who do have energy for it and enjoy it, no clue how they do it.

 

[kilowatt]

I used to be scared of growing up because I did not want to handle the responsability of a life. Looking back, I think the exact same way now. I've had a job for around half a year before (my one and only job, but I'm not even in my 20's) and I had to quit because I couldn't bother to put on a smile and treat people nicely when my mind was just rotting inside. I doubt I could've ever handled a real job, especially for a long period of time. I'm just grateful teenager me was smart enough to save up her money for years.

 

[sserafim]

I used to be scared of growing up because I did not want to handle the responsability of a life. Looking back, I think the exact same way now. I've had a job for around half a year before (my one and only job, but I'm not even in my 20's) and I had to quit because I couldn't bother to put on a smile and treat people nicely when my mind was just rotting inside. I doubt I could've ever handled a real job, especially for a long period of time. I'm just grateful teenager me was smart enough to save up her money for years.

Honestly I never even wanted to grow up in the first place, but I was forced to. If I had my way I would've been a kid forever. I hate adulthood and having to adult. I don't want to handle the responsibility of life either. I don't think I'm ready for this responsibility, and I don't want it either. Honestly I think I'm just not fit or meant to be a human being.

I never even wanted to reach adulthood anyways. I always wanted to ctb before I did but never got around to it. Life is just so tiring, and I don't see a point in me continuing to live. I think that I'm just not fit or meant to be an adult. I don't have the capacity to be one. I think that I should've died during childhood.

I also don't think there are any benefits or good parts to being an adult. Imo, the cons greatly outweigh the pros. You have to continue living for like 60 years, and work your life away for 40 of them. That's *such* a long time, I would get so bored of existing. I don't even want to live that long. I would ctb but I'm too scared of failing, so I'm forced to continue to exist.

I've already experienced a lot in this lifetime, and I've traveled and went to cool places. I think I've fulfilled what I wanted to in this lifetime (traveling). Sure, I did want to go to more countries, but that isn't a good reason for me to continue to live in this miserable existence. I don't see a point in living when the future and my future will most definitely get worse. I don't see a future for myself anyways, and I don't want a future for myself. I always wanted to die before 25, and I knew that I would eventually ctb. I don't think that life as an adult is worth living, and I don't want to live adult life either.

TLDR: I can't function as an adult, and I don't want to be an adult.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

They don't have a disability or other kinds of challenges. I'm sure life is swell like that.

 

[briarrose]

i wonder this, too. i just can't imagine living the life that others live. i just simply don't have the energy or will to do so. i can't even force myself to anymore, it all just sounds so exhausting. and any job i think i may have fun with, once i really look into what the job entails or what i need to do to achieve a job like that, plus the likelihood of actually getting that job even if i go to school for it… i feel burnt out before i even begin. nothing sounds fun. for now, playing video games, watching anime, learning languages, drawing, writing, listening to music… these are all things i find fun and fulfilling, but i also know a day will come where they are no longer fulfilling enough to keep me on this planet.

so, to imagine living the normal life where i go to college and get a full time job, and then work until i'm old and live off of retirement money? eugh. i can't imagine doing all that. maybe i'm just spoiled, but i don't think anyone should have to, either.

so, to answer your question… i have no clue. maybe we're "lazy" (as non-suicidal people love to say about us), or maybe we're "broken"… or perhaps there's just something fundamentally wrong with the world we live in and it only benefits the people who are "better" than us.