How do i stop viewing death as evil and unnatural?

[Jon]

I couldn't possibly write that up honestly

Probably because it was just as you said, a dream. Dreams were never meant to come true, despite what films lead us to believe.

 

[weedoge]

Probably because it was just as you said, a dream. Dreams were never meant to come true, despite what films lead us to believe.

More that I don't like to consider those thoughts anymore. It hurts in far too many ways to do.

 

[Jon]

More that I don't like to consider those thoughts anymore. It hurts in far too many ways to do.

Dreams, never really are what you had envisioned. Probably what you dreamt of wouldn't have turned out as you'd hoped for anyway. Isn't that a better way of looking at it anyway? Many "dreams", or rather desires, I had did come true, but after the initial joy of having got what I wanted I was still left wanting more. If anything could really satisfy us, we would have been satisfied long ago.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Greed.

Life is all we have. We're too greedy to just give it up. So we develop these stories about how bad death is, to cover up the truth that we're just too greedy to part with it.

Greed really is dumb. I should just withdraw my money from the bank and use it to set myself on fire with.

 

[windingdown]

It's difficult to change completely, but just as drops of water over many years gradually erode hardened rock, so too can little changes gradually reduce or even eradicate those characteristics that one would prefer not to have. And we are not so hardened like rock. It just takes time, writing daily, self-reflection and self-address, and relentlessly studying oneself are the best way at eliminating those faults.

I'm primarily studying at how to handle pain, as it's what I'm most concerned about. I know there will be pain in death, as I've already done some "test runs" on the partial hanging method. So I'm studying how to face pain so that when the time comes I won't back out. From what I read, especially from Cicero's On Bearing Pain, one just needs patience and to constantly fill his mind with encouragement and to convince himself that soon the pain will be over, which it surely will be. One such quote of his is as follows, describing the best way to handle pain:

He will rouse himself, prepare and arm himself, to oppose pain as he would an enemy. If you inquire what arms he will provide himself with, they will be contention, encouragement, discourse with himself.
​

But I'm yet to be fully convinced and haven't yet managed to remove all fear of pain, which is why I know it takes a huge amount of study and practice to change our thoughts, which have been deeply imbedded within us since a young age, and particularly the fear of pain and death are innate to all of us. Though death itself I'm relatively at ease about, it's the inevitable pain that precedes it that troubles me most.

But study those faults which you feel are the most undesirable and work out ways to overcome them. There are plenty of resources about how to do that. No faults are unique to one person; what you feel you can guarantee countless others have felt before.

I am with you on being at peace with death itself, but still fearing pain (in dying).

 

[Jon]

I am with you on being at peace with death itself, but still fearing pain (in dying).

Yeah I didn't realise how painful it was until I tested it. I did read that the pain is short lived in hanging and rapidly turns into numbness and confusion then a blackout. The pain can also be lessened by being completely intoxicated with alcohol and basically any pain killing medicine / antihistamines / benzos you can get hold of. Ideally you want to be at the point where you are virtually unconscious yet in the correct position so that the rope fastens tightly around where you want it to, around the jugular veins is what I've read. Jumping shouldn't involve any pain provided it's a clear fall as your body theoretically shouldn't have time to register the pain on impact. Also don't make a big thing about it and don't look back over your life. Just focus a hundred percent on the job in hand, it'll quite literally be over before you know it. Though it's worth doing a few test runs so you know roughly what to expect and secondly you'll be able to test a few different ropes to know which ones are most effective. If it can support your weight and you feel like you're blacking out quite quickly is a good measurement, but have a second thicker rope positioned as well just in case the initial rope breaks.

 

[windingdown]

Yeah I didn't realise how painful it was until I tested it. I did read that the pain is short lived in hanging and rapidly turns into numbness and confusion then a blackout. The pain can also be lessened by being completely intoxicated with alcohol and basically any pain killing medicine / antihistamines / benzos you can get hold of. Ideally you want to be at the point where you are virtually unconscious yet in the correct position so that the rope fastens tightly around where you want it to, around the jugular veins is what I've read. Jumping shouldn't involve any pain provided it's a clear fall as your body theoretically shouldn't have time to register the pain on impact. Also don't make a big thing about it and don't look back over your life. Just focus a hundred percent on the job in hand, it'll quite literally be over before you know it. Though it's worth doing a few test runs so you know roughly what to expect and secondly you'll be able to test a few different ropes to know which ones are most effective. If it can support your weight and you feel like you're blacking out quite quickly is a good measurement, but have a second thicker rope positioned as well just in case the initial rope breaks.

You seem to combine existential and practical perspectives about ctb - as I do. I appreciate your thoughts.

 

[throwaway123]

Spending time in nature or rural empty places usually helps me clear my mind. It is often then that I feel the most ready to CTB.

 

[Abacabb]

Spending time in nature or rural empty places usually helps me clear my mind. It is often then that I feel the most ready to CTB.

To quote a band I used to enjoy. "Life feeds on life. This is necessary"

 

[Volatile]

Spending time in nature or rural empty places usually helps me clear my mind. It is often then that I feel the most ready to CTB.

Would that apply to a desert environment?

 

[tothemetalsickness]

Death is something that we cannot escape. I lost three family members four years ago. First it was my grandfather, grandmother, uncle so I am actually getting used to it.

I am a Buddhist so yeah, pretty getting used to the idea of death.

 

[throwaway123]

Would that apply to a desert environment?

I think so. I'd go at night since it's significantly cooler then.