How do I make myself realise that my life isn't significant and it does not matter if I'm going to CBT?

[shay23]

I'm so scared of death and feel so anxious about the burden I may leave behind, the thought of ceasing to exist and not experiencing consciousness really frightens me but I need to CBT. People don't really like me and I don't have much of a social life, people might be sad for a day but they will certainly get over it. I don't know how to stop making death a big deal, I'm going to die one day, my life has never got better and I have not achieved anything. Why does my brain trick me into thinking things will get better when they never do, all I do is stay in bed.
Has anyone found away to over come survival instinct and the fear of death? I know I want to and need to but I can't bring myself too.

 

[Kruger]

You do experience consciousness after death. Read Journey of Souls. Your spirit never dies. Just be sure to avoid the reincarnation trap or you'll have to come back and do this shit all over again and again and again.

 

[antigone_iris]

I'm so scared of death and feel so anxious about the burden I may leave behind, the thought of ceasing to exist and not experiencing consciousness really frightens me but I need to CBT. People don't really like me and I don't have much of a social life, people might be sad for a day but they will certainly get over it. I don't know how to stop making death a big deal, I'm going to die one day, my life has never got better and I have not achieved anything. Why does my brain trick me into thinking things will get better when they never do, all I do is stay in bed.
Has anyone found away to over come survival instinct and the fear of death? I know I want to and need to but I can't bring myself too.

I'm in the same boat

 

[shay23]

You do experience consciousness after death. Read Journey of Souls. Your spirit never dies. Just be sure to avoid the reincarnation trap or you'll have to come back and do this shit all over again and again and again.

Thank you, I do believe in souls and want to believe in this but the fear of nothing is a lot. I feel like my soul is trying to escape. Thanks for the recommendation, I'll look into that! How does someone avoid the reincarnation trap?

I'm in the same boat

Sorry to hear that, you are not alone with these thoughts. If you want to talk to anyone I am here for you.

 

[SmellyRat]

I don't think there is anything that will prepare you.
The human brain has evolved to survive no matter what.
Welcome to earth aka the mad house

 

[StringPuppet]

I don't think any of us can convince you.

I'm personally reassured that my life isn't significant by looking at how fucked life is and how miserable most people are and knowing that I didn't have a hand in making things this way. In ctb I'll be leaving behind a world that made it abundantly clear that no one or nothing matters.

 

[antigone_iris]

Sorry to hear that, you are not alone with these thoughts. If you want to talk to anyone I am here for you.

Thank you! Same, if you feel like talking to someone, drop me a line.

 

[shay23]

I don't think there is anything that will prepare you.
The human brain has evolved to survive no matter what.
Welcome to earth aka the mad house

It's so strange how the brain can get into such a dark place but still have such strong survival instincts to live, it's kinda sadistic.
Also, I love your choice of gif!

 

[MichaelNomad123]

I found my insignificance, but with that void I found strength instead of escape. I realized that because I am nothing, then I can essentially do whatever I want. For the most part, I have. It isn't as simple as overcoming survival instinct or a fear of death.

If you are at this point and writing this post then there is a part of you that still holds hope. That isn't something to shy away from, nor is it something to shun. It isn't really anything. It just is and you just are the way that you are. It takes a long time for someone to grow comfortable with themselves and you are at the start of that journey. You can ease the journey by starting to develop the tools to accept yourself. Is it bold of me to assume you are in your late teens or early 20s? Is it also bold of me to tell you that the issues you have cited in your post will grow easier with time?

It seems bleak now, but it will not always be. Time changes all. You weather and you dull. You change forms and you become other things. If all you do now is sleep, then there's nothing wrong with that. Afterall, what does a caterpillar do? There are other pursuits in life that you can take that don't require other people. There are pleasures to seek. There is enjoyment to derive.

Death is the ultimate. It is a finale, when you have barely spoken your first lines. Death is cold and infinite. Life is short and finite. Death can wait. Live a bit longer and don't be so hasty with your choice. Be easy on yourself because there are no easy answers. Remember that everything and all the choices and challenges you will meet in life are impossible until they are obvious. All you have to do is trust in time and yourself. Life ebbs and flows.

 

[shay23]

I don't think any of us can convince you.

I'm personally reassured that my life isn't significant by looking at how fucked life is and how miserable most people are and knowing that I didn't have a hand in making things this way. In ctb I'll be leaving behind a world that made it abundantly clear that no one or nothing matters.

It's so sad it has to be like that, I hope you're okay as can be.

 

[Kruger]

I'm in the same boat

To avoid the trap they say you must avoid the light tunnel, but it's very hard to do because they show you a hologram of a loved one to trap you into going into the tunnel. Then they tell you all kinds of lies about karma and convince you to come back to pay off your karmic debt.
I've been looking into this intensively for years. One day i asked myself - what is the point of punishing me in this life if i don't even know wtf i am supposed to have done in a past life?". They tell you it's to pay off your karmic debt but It makes no fucking sense, that's when I realised it was a lie and discovered the work of Wes Penre. It was such a relief because i DO NOT want to come back here, never ever. He suggests "looking" up, behind you, or to the side. Thoughts are reality on that side and all communication with other sould and entities is through thought. Apparently if you look up/behind, you will see holes in the grid and you must think youself through the holes to get out. If you get out, you go back to source, where you experience eternal bliss. I myself have lots of unanswered questions that I am still trying to work out before I go, because I do not want to fuck it up. Basically the Controllers of this place also control the other side. They need to trick us into coming back because they feed off our souls.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

I don't think any of us can convince you.

I'm personally reassured that my life isn't significant by looking at how fucked life is and how miserable most people are and knowing that I didn't have a hand in making things this way. In ctb I'll be leaving behind a world that made it abundantly clear that no one or nothing matters.

This rings so true. It's really the sad truth about life.

In midst of this I can't but feel extreme hatred of parents in general, bringing life to this place. They are evil incarnate.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

You do experience consciousness after death. Read Journey of Souls. Your spirit never dies. Just be sure to avoid the reincarnation trap or you'll have to come back and do this shit all over again and again and again.

Any scientific basis for that?

 

[shay23]

I found my insignificance, but with that void I found strength instead of escape. I realized that because I am nothing, then I can essentially do whatever I want. For the most part, I have. It isn't as simple as overcoming survival instinct or a fear of death.

If you are at this point and writing this post then there is a part of you that still holds hope. That isn't something to shy away from, nor is it something to shun. It isn't really anything. It just is and you just are the way that you are. It takes a long time for someone to grow comfortable with themselves and you are at the start of that journey. You can ease the journey by starting to develop the tools to accept yourself. Is it bold of me to assume you are in your late teens or early 20s? Is it also bold of me to tell you that the issues you have cited in your post will grow easier with time?

It seems bleak now, but it will not always be. Time changes all. You weather and you dull. You change forms and you become other things. If all you do now is sleep, then there's nothing wrong with that. Afterall, what does a caterpillar do? There are other pursuits in life that you can take that don't require other people. There are pleasures to seek. There is enjoyment to derive.

Death is the ultimate. It is a finale, when you have barely spoken your first lines. Death is cold and infinite. Life is short and finite. Death can wait. Live a bit longer and don't be so hasty with your choice. Be easy on yourself because there are no easy answers. Remember that everything and all the choices and challenges you will meet in life are impossible until they are obvious. All you have to do is trust in time and yourself. Life ebbs and flows.

You are amazing with words, do you write as a profession? Thank you so much for the time and thought that went into your response, I really appreciate that. I am hopeful and I do not want to die, instead I feel like I have to, but I don't know why I am holding on to this hope when nothing has or will change. You're right, maybe I am scared of the hope or am not fully embracing it like I should. I am scared of being happy and being hopeful because a lot of people don't like me and I feel like it makes them more comfortable when I put myself down, sometimes I want to fail because I don't like when people comment on my achievements or if people get jealous I will purposely sabotage myself.

I glad you have found strength within yourself, props to your introspectiveness and outlook - it's very inspiring.

I am early twenties, yep you've assumed right. I have severe anxiety, depression, PTSD and BPD which is why I want to end my life because they hinder everything I do. I struggle to make friends, keep friends, get a job, hold down a job, get a driving license etc so it's very draining and a lot of work just to appear 'normal' but I am very low functioning.

I love the caterpillar analogy, I am going to write that one down. Thank you for sharing that with me. 'Death can wait' is another great line from you, I like that a lot.

Thank you so much again, you really have a wonderful way with words, I think your perspective and writing is a gift honestly. I appreciate you sharing it all with me.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

You are amazing with words, do you write as a profession? Thank you so much for the time and thought that went into your response, I really appreciate that. I am hopeful and I do not want to die, instead I feel like I have to, but I don't know why I am holding on to this hope when nothing has or will change. You're right, maybe I am scared of the hope or am not fully embracing it like I should. I am scared of being happy and being hopeful because a lot of people don't like me and I feel like it makes them more comfortable when I put myself down, sometimes I want to fail because I don't like when people comment on my achievements or if people get jealous I will purposely sabotage myself.

I glad you have found strength within yourself, props to your introspectiveness and outlook - it's very inspiring.

I am early twenties, yep you've assumed right. I have severe anxiety, depression, PTSD and BPD which is why I want to end my life because they hinder everything I do. I struggle to make friends, keep friends, get a job, hold down a job, get a driving license etc so it's very draining and a lot of work just to appear 'normal' but I am very low functioning.

I love the caterpillar analogy, I am going to write that one down. Thank you for sharing that with me. 'Death can wait' is another great line from you, I like that a lot.

Thank you so much again, you really have a wonderful way with words, I think your perspective and writing is a gift honestly. I appreciate you sharing it all with me.

You're very welcome. And FYI, I'm 32 and still struggling with all these things! You're not alone. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has their shit together, you know? But really my point is just that you can always go when you want to go, but it should be comfortable. To me, it seems like you have some avenues left to explore first and I hope you find what you need.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

You are amazing with words

He is, unfortunately what he tries to tell us is just lies and false hope. Life is cruel, just like nature. Just like you crush thousands of insects under your shoes on your way to work without even noticing, just as cruel is life in its very core.

 

[shay23]

You're very welcome. And FYI, I'm 32 and still struggling with all these things! You're not alone. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has their shit together, you know? But really my point is just that you can always go when you want to go, but it should be comfortable. To me, it seems like you have some avenues left to explore first and I hope you find what you need.

Thank you so much. It's true, no one has it together and everyone is just trying to make it seem like they have it together because they think everyone else has their shit together.

He is, unfortunately what he tries to tell us is just lies and false hope. Life is cruel, just like nature. Just like you crush thousands of insects under your shoes on your way to work without even noticing, just as cruel is life in its very core.

I think you can both be right, life and society is just a huge contradiction.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

He is, unfortunately what he tries to tell us is just lies and false hope. Life is cruel, just like nature. Just like you crush thousands of insects under your shoes on your way to work without even noticing, just as cruel is life in its very core.

You make your own hope. It doesn't come from me or anyone else. Nature is cold and life is cruel, yes. That's why we're all here on this forum, right? Wallowing. Humanity is not nature though. We are conscious and separate from the chaos of the universe. We have the capacity for meaning and purpose. I would argue that when we do not have this, that's when we start to wish for nothingness again.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

Humanity is not nature though

Wait, what? If humanity is not part of nature then you mean we are alien?

I'd say we're just hyper intelligent monkeys.

Meaning and purpose are just human constructs.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

Wait, what? If humanity is not part of nature then you mean we are alien?

I'd say we're just hyper intelligent monkeys.

Meaning and purpose are just human constructs.

They are human constructs and we are human, you and I, therefore they're relevant, right?

Humans are not of the natural world. A rock cannot tell you the time. The math that governs the chaos of the universe does not dictate your decision making. You are not of nature. Your brain and ability to think means you are different, which means different rules apply.

 

[BLUE1970]

If you're afraid to die, you're not ready to die.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

They are human constructs and we are human, you and I, therefore they're relevant, right?

Humans are not of the natural world. A rock cannot tell you the time. The math that governs the chaos of the universe does not dictate your decision making. You are not of nature. Your brain and ability to think means you are different, which means different rules apply.

Bullshit. We are born on this planet with all the rest of the mammals. The only difference is we've got an advanced central nervous system with an illusion of consciousness made up from billion of neurons.

 

[shay23]

If you're afraid to die, you're not ready to die.

When I took a lot of drugs I used to hallucinate death and would disassociate all time believing that life wasn't real and I was in a simulation. I'm scared if I die I'll go back to those people places, I'm scared of not being in "control" like when I used to abuse drugs.

 

[BLUE1970]

When I took a lot of drugs I used to hallucinate death and would disassociate all time believing that life wasn't real and I was in a simulation. I'm scared if I die I'll go back to those people places, I'm scared of not being in "control" like when I used to abuse drugs.

I've long believed life is a simulation, have a read up on 'simulation hypothesis' ... I wrote a paper years ago titled 'Figment of imagination', it still gets the odd citation.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

Bullshit. We are born on this planet with all the rest of the mammals. The only difference is we've got an advanced central nervous system with an illusion of consciousness made up from billion of neurons.

Right, but your dog can't post on this forum. Your dog doesn't even know what a computer is or that he's a dog. He just exists. You can do all these things. You can sit here and trade words for me about the nature of your existence. That is very different than what the rest of the natural world is capable of.

 

[StuFin]

Watch the brain by Dr David Eagleman, it might dispel a lot of these idiotic ideas about tunnels of light and what "they" say.

There is no colour, no smell, the world you live in is completely different to the illusion your brain constructs.

 

[shay23]

Watch the brain by Dr David Eagleman, it might dispel a lot of these idiotic ideas about tunnels of light and what "they" say.

There is no colour, no smell, the world you live in is completely different to the illusion your brain constructs.

I'll look into it, thanks for the recommendation. It's been good to get multiple perspectives!

 

[sadworld]

I've experienced SI a few times and it's insane how fast your brain can go from "I wanna die so bad" to "I'll try everything to stay alive". It's so fucking scary and I hate it so much.

 

[Symbiote]

I got my life experiences that tell me how much my life is insignificant. That's my fuel as well that can push me over to the other side.

 

[shay23]

I've experienced SI a few times and it's insane how fast your brain can go from "I wanna die so bad" to "I'll try everything to stay alive". It's so fucking scary and I hate it so much.

It really is, I thought I was alone in how strong it can be when wanting to go so badly. Here if you need to chat to someone