How do I make my mind up

[Bruces]

I've being going backwards and forwards in my decision whether to ctb,I'm just not 100%

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

First, do you have difficulty making your mind up about other things, or is this an anomaly?

Second, it's the biggest decision you'll probably ever have to make, so going back and forth is understandable. Not only because of the fact that it's irreversible if successful, but what will happen if it's not successful.

 

[NekoNomNom]

I know that my ultimate goal is to ctb. However, much like you, my mind also goes back and forth. The only reason being my son. It pains me to think about him being sad over me; but being conscious also pains me. I wish I had a valid reason and could afford to be put into a medical coma. See if things get any better in the future.

 

[Bruces]

Yes I'm a terrible decision maker,always have been I find it highly unlikely my life will improve now but I'm also conscious of consequences on family!

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

Think about what you really want. If it's hard for you to make decisions generally, you can list pros and cons of leaving and staying here. The things I'd consider are people who make you happy, hobbies and health. Do you have someone who is really important to you? Do you feel like you could get better with the help of this person? Do you have hobbies you're passionate about? Something you want to accomplish? Are you healthy? Are you physically disabled? Do you have a terminal illness? Do you have a mental illness that is really interfering with your daily life? Can you imagine living with these problems for the rest of your life? Ask yourself questions like this.

 

[Bruces]

I have a mental illness that absolutely torments me to death everyday!
If I chose to do it I'd have to make it look accidental

 

[Bruces]

I need to stop flogging this dead horse and get it over done with

 

[Despondent]

I used to do the same and it's completely normal. Maybe more nornal than you think?

It's never an easy decision and it takes some time to think things out thorougly and rationally. Don't be too hard on yourself and avoid acting on impulse if you're not 100% ❤

 

[pole]

hey, sorry about you're feeling.

i don't think anyone could fully answer that question for you. that's the question only the person themselves would really be able to know. if you aren't 100 percent, i just don't truly think you're at peace with the decision itself, especially if you plan on doing it "just to get it over with". when the time comes, you'll know, and you won't be asking such questions that only you could answer really.

till then, i hope you somehow feel better and life somehow turns around for you. regardless, i wish you peace with whatever decision you choose to go with.

take care.

 

[Bruces]

I do wish I'd been a different person instead of this utter disaster but can't change the past

 

[warinmymind]

Hi Bruces, I'm so sorry your situation is causing you so much pain. I feel like unless you are 100% certain it isn't really something to just hurry up and do. Heck even if you are 100% certain it's okay to be calm, to think things over, to change your mind or even just stop and smell the daisies on your way. If there's anything you want to talk about people here are happy to listen to. Remember there is no rush dear, you're a special person to everyone here xo