How do I make it easier for my family?

[pentobarbitaldreams]

I feel like my suicide is gonna devastate them, even though I've never contributed much to them; I'm easily the most isolated member of my family, I rarely talk about anything, I mostly just hide in my room and come out for meals and occasionally shallow conversations with them. But I still feel like it's gonna be a major event for them. Any way to soften the blow?

 

[Bruces]

I feel exactly the same x

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've asked myself this question for years. The only way I've found to "soften the blow" would be to make them hate you first. No one cares when the hated/ex communicated member of the family dies.

I've spent time intentionally and unintentionally making myself hated by my family for this purpose. So if and or when my time comes it'll be easier for them.

I know it's not the optimum solution or probably something you'd want to do. But again it's the only solution I've found thus far. In my circumstances I believe it'll have the desired effect I'm going for.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I feel the only real ways that are within your power are to control in which manner you're found, and by whom, and also the nature of your goodbye note, which has the power to offer consolation to those reading it.

Also, it couldn't hurt, if you felt comfortable doing so, to have a heartfelt conversation before you left, maybe letting them know that you love them, though that can be achieved in the note.

 

[pete_x]

My own approach will be to disappear if i can.
Logic being the doubt will be easier to manage/fade than the certainty.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

I read once that the worst for a parent is losing a child to suicide without any explanation. Some people don't leave a letter or a note to make their parents feel guilty. So maybe leaving a letter should at least leave something for them to hold on to once you're gone.

 

[bornfree]

i wish it was possible to get prepared suicide notes then customise them to your circumstances. Your reasons for the choice you are making you are not alone in having.

 

[artificialpasta]

Is it better if they found me themselves, or if they found from somebody else?

 

[SpottedPanda]

Is it better if they found me themselves, or if they found from somebody else?

My gut feeling is to go with the latter. I'll be found by my housing officer. Imagine that mental image playing in your mind when you're not concentrating

 

[moonangel18]

I've asked myself this question for years. The only way I've found to "soften the blow" would be to make them hate you first. No one cares when the hated/ex communicated member of the family dies.

I've spent time intentionally and unintentionally making myself hated by my family for this purpose. So if and or when my time comes it'll be easier for them.

I know it's not the optimum solution or probably something you'd want to do. But again it's the only solution I've found thus far. In my circumstances I believe it'll have the desired effect I'm going for.

I can relate to this. And I think it's working. They totally hate me. And they totally think
that I'm the bad, no, the worst person in the world. Yeah, like it kinda hurts sometimes but who cares. I'm gonna end up dead soon anyway. Just let 'em think whatever they want to think about you.

 

[Toptock]

Over the last year I've been moving away from F/F to make things a bit easier. But to make it easier emotionally, I've signed up to donate my body to science, this way the funeral is covered, also in addition I've begun a note im taking my time on. Making sure that despite my feelings inside they know I don't blame them and want them to move on without me. I'd recommend looking into ways you can liquidate assets or perhaps saving your family trouble.

The day I ctb I'll be scheduling emails and notes. My intention is to leave my assets to an associate to liquidate so he can pay my bills so my roommates arent screwed while they look for another occupant.