how do I kill myself without making anyone sad?

[carys]

I know this does sound quite stupid because I know my parents are going to be devastated but I was just wondering if there are any possible ways I could make them recover over my death quicker since I don't want to inflict the same pain I experience onto them. I have recently been trying to distance myself away from them so they could be more used to my absence but when I do have to be with them, I try to act as difficult and irritable as possible so they can hate and feel bitterness to me for them to not miss me as much when I do die. Although I feel my parents would be most sensitive to my death, sometimes I think some of my friends would possibly be devastated as well. So I was just wondering if there are any tips or advice that may lessen my loved ones' grief and pain?

 

[myrtaryniel]

You just can't. All you can do is have some nice times with them and let them have the good memories. They will be devastated no matter what, but you can write some letters saying the typical stuff: I love you so much, this isn't your fault, thank you for always being there...Your parents will be happier if they know their son loved them, rather than having a difficult relationship with you.

 

[Mofreeko]

I don't think you can. They'll be hurt and I think above all they'll want to know why and even if you tell them why in a suicide note or something they still won't understand. There's nothing you can do, they'll have to go through the grieving process whether you like it or not.

 

[Macc Lad]

I know this does sound quite stupid because I know my parents are going to be devastated but I was just wondering if there are any possible ways I could make them recover over my death quicker since I don't want to inflict the same pain I experience onto them. I have recently been trying to distance myself away from them so they could be more used to my absence but when I do have to be with them, I try to act as difficult and irritable as possible so they can hate and feel bitterness to me for them to not miss me as much when I do die. Although I feel my parents would be most sensitive to my death, sometimes I think some of my friends would possibly be devastated as well. So I was just wondering if there are any tips or advice that may lessen my loved ones' grief and pain?

what an odd post!

 

[JadedGray]

I know this does sound quite stupid because I know my parents are going to be devastated but I was just wondering if there are any possible ways I could make them recover over my death quicker since I don't want to inflict the same pain I experience onto them. I have recently been trying to distance myself away from them so they could be more used to my absence but when I do have to be with them, I try to act as difficult and irritable as possible so they can hate and feel bitterness to me for them to not miss me as much when I do die. Although I feel my parents would be most sensitive to my death, sometimes I think some of my friends would possibly be devastated as well. So I was just wondering if there are any tips or advice that may lessen my loved ones' grief and pain?

I've done this in the past myself, sometimes without even realizing. It was also a way of making it easier on me by isolating myself so I didn't have to think about how they would mourn after I'm gone. It was a coping mechanism like making myself believe that they don't really care about me or only do because they have to, not because they would choose to. I thought if I was like this they eventually would resent me and be relieved by my absence. It never worked, though. In the end I think it's best if you try to make the most of the time you have left with them and try to end on a good note with them. It will actually make grieving easier if they have good memories to remember you by rather than the regret they would have if your last times with them were unhappy.

 

[Ashpac]

Its not possible im afraid. No matter how much we might want to be forgotten, there will be someone who is hurting over your death.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

This is what I fear..I cant stand to hurt the few people that care about me but life is just becoming unbearable. I often wonder if i can just exist miserably until the few people that care about me die but with each day that passes that seems to be less and less possible.

 

[soda_pressed]

I wish it was possible, as I'm having the same dilemma but I don't think there's much you can do. I agree with what everyone else says.
All I'm going to do before I go is spend as much time with my family, and make sure that they know I love them. Then write them a note

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

You can't control other people's feelings. It is what it is.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

No way- you gotta understand that CTB is gonna devastate others who were close to you.
It just the consequence of it.

 

[Rex2019]

I know this does sound quite stupid because I know my parents are going to be devastated but I was just wondering if there are any possible ways I could make them recover over my death quicker since I don't want to inflict the same pain I experience onto them. I have recently been trying to distance myself away from them so they could be more used to my absence but when I do have to be with them, I try to act as difficult and irritable as possible so they can hate and feel bitterness to me for them to not miss me as much when I do die. Although I feel my parents would be most sensitive to my death, sometimes I think some of my friends would possibly be devastated as well. So I was just wondering if there are any tips or advice that may lessen my loved ones' grief and pain?

This is the only only reason, I haven't done it yet either. I wish I knew the solution to this. I guess maybe there is a threshold-like a point when our misery is so great that it overpowers our desire not to cause pain to loved ones. Maybe that's the point point we will let go.
But in any case, like others before me has mentioned, I don't think it is a good idea to distance yourself-it will only hurt them more/ create more pain and grief when you are gone.

 

[anelakapu]

Become a really shitty, ugly person so no one cares whether you live or die- it really does work. No sad people, just inconvenienced.

 

[Rex2019]

Become a really shitty, ugly person so no one cares whether you live or die- it really does work. No sad people, just inconvenienced.

But then you would just be hurting your loved ones when you are alive.

 

[Divine Trinity]

So I was just wondering if there are any tips or advice that may lessen my loved ones' grief and pain?

From my experience, upfront honesty is a great way to destroy your social life, just tell people what you think of them. (semi-sarcastic)

This is the only only reason, I haven't done it yet either. I wish I knew the solution to this. I guess maybe there is a threshold-like a point when our misery is so great that it overpowers our desire not to cause pain to loved ones. Maybe that's the point point we will let go.
But in any case, like others before me has mentioned, I don't think it is a good idea to distance yourself-it will only hurt them more/ create more pain and grief when you are gone.

Not at all, you overthink things. Suicide is best plain and simple, you want an empty head and silent mouth.

ig sort of like Buddha, where you essentially live as if you're dead, except we're literally trying to die.

 

[clover___]

For all that neglecting or sabotaging your relationships might seem like it will save people pain in the long run, it's mostly just going to cause more pain in the short term. People aren't stupid, and they do a lot of introspection when those around them die. Chances are they'll realise that's what you were doing. They might even see it as a warning sign that they should've picked up on, making things worse.

 

[Oppenheimer]

I do quite the opposite. I try to make the time I have with my parents as pleasant as possible (for them at least). So if I ctb sometime in the future they will have the good memories.

 

[Hatari]

I know that's hard to do, but try not to think about that. Think about YOU, not them.

 

[Jolene40]

All you can do is explain in a suicide note that suicide will bring nothing but relief from your suffering. I guess if one can imagine you are now at peace they may process it slightly better down the line. It won't tske away the pain. If i were left behind i would feel slightly better thinking the loved one made the decision rationally and as a way to bring relief to ongoing suffering. As opposed to chaotic blaming hateful suicide note.
Not much help i know. Don't distance yourself, it will just leave unanswered questions and possibly self blame.

 

[bugfriendly]

I wish there was an answer to this question other than it's impossible unless you have no one who would miss you

 

[housecat]

I think this is a huge factor for many of us. I can't help but feel that suicide would make me seem ungrateful of the efforts that people have put into raising me in one way or another, that someone might decide to blame themselves, or that I may unintentionally make other people's lives seem worse (even though I'm probably I'm more of a burden). I would just try to explain it as well as I could in a note. I don't know what else can be done. Distancing yourself will probably only work for minor friends (I hadn't considered that it might increace the chances of people blaming themselves, but thinking about it, I can see how it would). I actually like the suggestions of making positive memories before ctb. It's unfortunate that it has to be a big deal when people just want peace. Humans seem almost overly sentimental about life, considering that the world is harsh and everything dies anyway. (Of course I'm human too, and it would hurt me to lose someone close).
...sorry, lots of words, not much content.