Help How do I get over my fear?

[justacagedbird]

I've been planning on killing myself since I was 10, but I was always too scared of doing it - or tried and failed due to my SI. I don't know how to get over my goddamned insticts. Does anyone have suggestions on how to get over them, and how to just rip off the bandaid and do it?

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is like the survival instinct just exists to prolong suffering and keep us trapped here, I hate how it's so difficult to die and I wish there's an straightforward answer to this.

I imagine that many who managed to ctb had access to a method they felt confident in and just got so determined to leave, I envy those people and I know that in my case I'd have no problem in going through with ctb if I had a method as peaceful as Nembutal, for me the issue lies in how suicide methods are either risky or inaccessible. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[justacagedbird]

It really is like the survival instinct just exists to prolong suffering and keep us trapped here, I hate how it's so difficult to die and I wish there's an straightforward answer to this.

I imagine that many who managed to ctb had access to a method they felt confident in and just got so determined to leave, I envy those people and I know that in my case I'd have no problem in going through with ctb if I had a method as peaceful as Nembutal, for me the issue lies in how suicide methods are either risky or inaccessible. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

I totally agree. My worst enemy is my SI, if it was gone I would've been free years ago. Instead, I'm in this loop of pain and suffering..
Thank you though. I appreciate it.