How do I get out of rock bottom?

[icarus_09]

Hello everyone. I'm posting here to find some hope in my bleak situation. I want to get better.

I have always suffered from mental illness and have been going to therapy since I was young. I had a great career in my 20's (I'm 30 now), but I lost everything when COVID hit. I had to live with my parents again, which in the end also made my dad resent me eventually. I had a mental breakdown during this time as well. I was lucky to have had close connections to friends at that time to help.

Fast forward to now, I never recovered. I developed agoraphobia and social anxiety to go along with the depression. I have been trying to rekindle my career the past few years with no success. My friends have kind of withered away and my family and I are not speaking. What helps me through every day is my wonderful partner who supports me. But I don't want to be a burden to her anymore and there is no other way except for me to get better. She is moving us to another city to start a new life and this feels like my last chance to make my life work. I don't want to squander the last relationship left in my life.

I cannot afford therapy or meds at the moment (I am from a developing country). I feel too old to start a new career or learn something new, but I have to. I didn't graduate college either. I fought really hard to make my way in the world, but it's devastating to start again and to find the energy and willpower to do it. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Has anyone gotten out of it? If anyone has any advice or any hope to share, it would mean the world.

 

[moshimoshi]

I'm sorry you've hit rock bottom, it's one of the worst feeling in the world. I also have agoraphobia and social anxiety and I know it can be super debilitating and hard to overcome. It's really sweet that you want the best for your partner, im glad you have them to support you. I've been in similar situation before and have had a bit of struggles with insurance so I haven't been able to get meds or therapy yet. Maybe for now until you can afford those things, you could try to do self therapy and look at coping skills. There are some good resources in this thread: Mental health worksheets, booklets & digital resources megathread . Identifying the things that are affecting you most (social anxiety, agoraphobia, depression, etc.) could help you take those first little steps. It's alright to go really slow and it will probably be very difficult for a while, but celebrating even tiny steps could help. Maybe also tell your partner about them so she can cheer you on :) I recently hit rock bottom, or at least very close to rock bottom it feels like. I don't think I'm out of it yet and still struggle a ton but hopefully this helps you a bit, or at least helps you feel heard

 

[Linda]

Hello everyone. I'm posting here to find some hope in my bleak situation. I want to get better.

I have always suffered from mental illness and have been going to therapy since I was young. I had a great career in my 20's (I'm 30 now), but I lost everything when COVID hit. I had to live with my parents again, which in the end also made my dad resent me eventually. I had a mental breakdown during this time as well. I was lucky to have had close connections to friends at that time to help.

Fast forward to now, I never recovered. I developed agoraphobia and social anxiety to go along with the depression. I have been trying to rekindle my career the past few years with no success. My friends have kind of withered away and my family and I are not speaking. What helps me through every day is my wonderful partner who supports me. But I don't want to be a burden to her anymore and there is no other way except for me to get better. She is moving us to another city to start a new life and this feels like my last chance to make my life work. I don't want to squander the last relationship left in my life.

I cannot afford therapy or meds at the moment (I am from a developing country). I feel too old to start a new career or learn something new, but I have to. I didn't graduate college either. I fought really hard to make my way in the world, but it's devastating to start again and to find the energy and willpower to do it. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Has anyone gotten out of it? If anyone has any advice or any hope to share, it would mean the world.

Your situation is obviously difficult, perhaps very difficult. Your chance of getting out of it is not great, but I think you do have a chance. I suggest that you stop for a while, and think of possible ways forward. (Write them down, if that helps.) Don't over-think it, just write down everything that might be relevant that comes into your head. Don't worry at this stage about what is likely to work. Just get some ideas. The more ideas you can write down the better. Then, switch the logical part of you brain on, and go through your list, discarding those ideas that are complete no-hopers. You will finish up with a smaller list, but it won't be an empty list. Then figure out the first step you would need to make for each of the items on your list. Choose one of them, and do it. You would only be making a small step, but it would be step in the right direction. If you can succeed, then you can move onto the next step. Basically, what you would be doing is breaking down a (possible) solution to your situation into small pieces. If you can do that, your situation won't seem qute so overwhelming. Taking the first few steps will probably be the hardest part. If you can get some momentum going, I think it will become easier after that.
I can't guarantee success, but I think you have a chance.
Good luck.

 

[icarus_09]

I'm sorry you've hit rock bottom, it's one of the worst feeling in the world. I also have agoraphobia and social anxiety and I know it can be super debilitating and hard to overcome. It's really sweet that you want the best for your partner, im glad you have them to support you. I've been in similar situation before and have had a bit of struggles with insurance so I haven't been able to get meds or therapy yet. Maybe for now until you can afford those things, you could try to do self therapy and look at coping skills. There are some good resources in this thread: Mental health worksheets, booklets & digital resources megathread . Identifying the things that are affecting you most (social anxiety, agoraphobia, depression, etc.) could help you take those first little steps. It's alright to go really slow and it will probably be very difficult for a while, but celebrating even tiny steps could help. Maybe also tell your partner about them so she can cheer you on :) I recently hit rock bottom, or at least very close to rock bottom it feels like. I don't think I'm out of it yet and still struggle a ton but hopefully this helps you a bit, or at least helps you feel heard

It is very kind of you to offer these words. I am taking a lot of comfort from them. sharing these resources also means a lot! I wish you the best on your journey. It seems like you've gotten the ball rolling for yourself.

Your situation is obviously difficult, perhaps very difficult. Your chance of getting out of it is not great, but I think you do have a chance. I suggest that you stop for a while, and think of possible ways forward. (Write them down, if that helps.) Don't over-think it, just write down everything that might be relevant that comes into your head. Don't worry at this stage about what is likely to work. Just get some ideas. The more ideas you can write down the better. Then, switch the logical part of you brain on, and go through your list, discarding those ideas that are complete no-hopers. You will finish up with a smaller list, but it won't be an empty list. Then figure out the first step you would need to make for each of the items on your list. Choose one of them, and do it. You would only be making a small step, but it would be step in the right direction. If you can succeed, then you can move onto the next step. Basically, what you would be doing is breaking down a (possible) solution to your situation into small pieces. If you can do that, your situation won't seem qute so overwhelming. Taking the first few steps will probably be the hardest part. If you can get some momentum going, I think it will become easier after that.
I can't guarantee success, but I think you have a chance.
Good luck.

I appreciate this realistic viewpoint on my situation. I'm definitely going to try what you suggested. It gives me some comfort that you think I have a chance, no matter how small that chance may be. Thank you very much for your reply!

 

[slightoverlooked]

never too old to start a new profession or work career!! I am happy to hear you have a partner by your side.

 

[unabletocope]

Just keep asking for help, even if it's from the most unlikely places. Should help you come to a more informed and developed plan. Good luck and best wishes.

 

[icarus_09]

never too old to start a new profession or work career!! I am happy to hear you have a partner by your side.

thank you. I know things are taking a toll on her at this point. I'm the luckiest person ever to have her around. I just don't want to weigh her down.

Just keep asking for help, even if it's from the most unlikely places. Should help you come to a more informed and developed plan. Good luck and best wishes.

trying every avenue I can think of. Thank you for the well wishes

 

[LaughingGoat]

I'm not sure what area your career was in, but you aren't alone in that experience. I worked in behavioral health throughout covid and we saw a spike similar to what you described. It sounds like you enjoyed your career and were successful in it. I would be interested to hear what specifically you were doing when trying to rekindle your career and whether you have looked into if there any opportunities in it where you are moving?

 

[icarus_09]

I'm not sure what area your career was in, but you aren't alone in that experience. I worked in behavioral health throughout covid and we saw a spike similar to what you described. It sounds like you enjoyed your career and were successful in it. I would be interested to hear what specifically you were doing when trying to rekindle your career and whether you have looked into if there any opportunities in it where you are moving?

I was an advertising photographer, so COVID was a massive hit to my business. The industry has changed quite a bit and I lack the money and resources to keep up. Competition is quite tight, there are a lot of us in a concentrated area. We are moving to a smaller city where I could maybe stand out a little more, but it's hard to tell right now.

 

[LaughingGoat]

I was an advertising photographer, so COVID was a massive hit to my business. The industry has changed quite a bit and I lack the money and resources to keep up. Competition is quite tight, there are a lot of us in a concentrated area. We are moving to a smaller city where I could maybe stand out a little more, but it's hard to tell right now.

Yeah that's rough, never crossed my mind but makes sense commercial photography would have been impacted by Covid. I hope it works out in the new town or that maybe another form of photography work is available in the new city.