Strangely, I completely understand your sentiment. I felt the same way which is why I stopped taking antidepressants and I stopped exercising. Then I stopped cleaning up my apartment and eating properly and paying my bills.
I think it's called passive suicide. It's this notion that if we actively allow ourselves to deteriorate eventually we will somehow just die in our sleep. Unfortunately I don't think that's how it works. There are lots of homeless people surrounding where I live and have basically seen their lives destroyed- they're sleeping in cardboard boxes on the street with their teeth falling out… And somehow they're still alive…
But like I said, I understand the impulse… You're hoping things will get bad enough that you are inspired to end your own life or life will just end itself… I can relate…