Help how do I destroy myself more?

[Death is my goal]

weird question but i believe it would help move forward to cbt.. how do i destroy myself mentally? i wanna feel as worst as possible.. i have to go deeper

 

[Jrmull1993]

I'm not sure about your particular approach, but I found that getting all my affairs in order has made embracing my upcoming exit date much easier.

 

[FuneralCry]

In a world like this it's likely that more horrible things could happen to us without us needing to do anything to cause it. After all, theres no limit as to how much we can suffer.

 

[hamvil]

weird question but i believe it would help move forward to cbt.. how do i destroy myself mentally? i wanna feel as worst as possible.. i have to go deeper

I have realised that in the last years I have become more and more self-destructive. All my life started to go bad due to my poor behavior on social networks. I do not know how to talk with people and social networks are not really a good thing for me because there I am even more disconnected from reality than in normal situations.

In the last years I have created lot of fake accounts to insult people and get angry at them on many socials. I think I am trying to get caught and identified and humiliated so much that it will force me to take the next steps.

I made worse and worse choice about work as well.

Lately I have also started to make really bad and risky choices from the sexual life standpoint.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Strangely, I completely understand your sentiment. I felt the same way which is why I stopped taking antidepressants and I stopped exercising. Then I stopped cleaning up my apartment and eating properly and paying my bills.
I think it's called passive suicide. It's this notion that if we actively allow ourselves to deteriorate eventually we will somehow just die in our sleep. Unfortunately I don't think that's how it works. There are lots of homeless people surrounding where I live and have basically seen their lives destroyed- they're sleeping in cardboard boxes on the street with their teeth falling out… And somehow they're still alive…
But like I said, I understand the impulse… You're hoping things will get bad enough that you are inspired to end your own life or life will just end itself… I can relate…