Help How do I ctb when I'm always been watched?

[CyanideSoup]

Family are being really suffocating right now. I cant go upstairs alone, I can't leave the house alone. I have to sleep in the living room if boyfriend isn't ready to go to bed. The only time I get alone is when I shower or use the bathroom. I can't keep doing this I need to ctb ASAP. I ordered SN but they're checking my mail and they threw it away. I don't know what to do.

 

[Rachel74]

That's a tough one. Maybe gain their trust a bit longer if they think you are stable again might leave you alone a lot longer. They think they are helping you by doing this.

 

[trynacbt]

I was in a similar situation about a month and a half ago. It takes time. But as @Rachel74 is saying, allowing that trust to build is really central. Try to show them that you're getting better, even if this requires some acting... (being deceitful like this with family isn't easy, in my experience, but I've found it necessary)
Is there a way you can order the SN to a location outside of your house, like a post office, where you could pick it up? That's what I'm doing... Maybe with time you can start to explain that having your own space would be really helpful for you, even if it's just sleeping on your own. Then SN could be done in the middle of the night...

Good luck, OP. I know what it's like to be monitored and it's not easy...

 

[justwhy?]

Sounds like you're over a barrel now ghost... this is always the danger of opening up when one is in the ctb head space. Sounds like you've got to grit your teeth and put on a happy mask for the audience holding you captive. You have no shot at making your life bearable or of dying unless you play along.

 

[realjunes]

Family are being really suffocating right now. I cant go upstairs alone, I can't leave the house alone. I have to sleep in the living room if boyfriend isn't ready to go to bed. The only time I get alone is when I shower or use the bathroom. I can't keep doing this I need to ctb ASAP. I ordered SN but they're checking my mail and they threw it away. I don't know what to do.

Are you kidding? Seizing SN? There is nothing illegal about that product. Were you given an explanation for them tossing the product? Did they come see you or send you a letter? Can SN not be sourced where you live? I'm sorry for all that happened, is happening to you. Can you say what country you live in? I know the UK and France have taken action against defenseless forum users, seizing what they received by mail. I am trying to figure which countries are most difficult right how. And what the few suppliers certain products are doing about this, if anything. After I hear from you, I will let you know if I have any bright ideas as to sources, but you probably know as much as I do.

 

[reapandsow918]

I'm in this situation currently. No privacy what so ever. It's hell, I can't order SN my family goes through everything. Trying to build their trust so I could move out. Everyday is a drag.